


The Carnage of Caerdorne

by Hyperionova



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Fantasy, Fluff and Angst, Half-Vampires, M/M, Medieval Goth, Miscarriages, Mpreg, Romance, Supernatural - Freeform, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-25 03:50:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 70,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21349771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hyperionova/pseuds/Hyperionova
Summary: Kai has loathed Sehun from the first moment he saw him. Sehun, on the other hand, grows up suspecting that Kai is a vampire and believing that it is his destiny to kill Kai. It is a story of how they are each other's curse... and blessing.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol, Kim Jongin | Kai/Oh Sehun
Comments: 49
Kudos: 500





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [yellowsushi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yellowsushi/gifts).

> Story contains gore, coldblooded murder of innocent rats, Sehun in socks, unfortunate miscarriages (yes, plural), and unsafe sex (condoms have not been invented yet in this time period oops). I don't know what your personal triggers are, so that's all I can warn you about.  
Story's visual thread can be found [HERE](https://twitter.com/se_kai94/status/1188921411580157953)

# P R O L O G U E

All of the centuries old scrolls and tomes, written by sage historians, sitting on the dusty shelves of the library had recorded the magnificence and liveliness of Caerdorne. The serenity and peace that wove through the city bled from page to page, in spite of her being very small and remote, and situated very far away from the rest of the world’s civilization. Her inhabitants saw nothing but good days and calm nights, fortune and prosperity. The city thrived for centuries, hidden away behind a canvas of mountains. Her people, though less progressive than the rest of the world, were happy, holding up their longing peace.

Then came the longest winter in the history of Caerdorne. It lasted for four years, trying to purloin every last silver hope for warmer days. The people of Caerdorne, who have never set foot out of the city, persisted and strove to best the brutal cold for many moons. Some even called upon witches to rid them of this cunning curse. Others turned to the God, beseeching Him for the sun again. Nothing prevailed.

It began with the death of the trees and every stalk of grass that grew on the ground. Soon, it was all nothing but thorns and ice. The witches augured that something wicked would come their way when the winter ends, and they would not longer be able to escape the real curse. Still, no one left the city for that this was their home, this was their ancestors’ home, and this shall be their grandchildren and _their_ children’s home.

The third year, strange creatures began to find their way into Caerdorne. First, it was wild animals from the mountains came to the city to scavenge for food. The frozen woods were starving them. Then, there were wolves that stood on their hindlegs and maimed all that was in their path. Their fangs were sharper than anything. Their howls deafened those who stood in a mile’s radius. In the dark, the creatures lurked freely, searching for their next victim.

The people trembled day after day, fearing the nightfall. When the grey of the day turned to the black of the night, all would scurry into their homes and lock their doors and windows. Fathers stood guard while mothers protectively embraced the children to sleep.

It was the curse, the people started to believe. The curse the witches had foreseen. Words began to spread. Hunters from far away lands visited Caerdorne with great promises to rid the people of the wolves. All of them failed. Their guns, their crossbows, their arrows could never defeat the wolves that took a monstrous form in the night. Everywhere they went, they left traces of drool, blood and fur behind.

The people were losing hope with each passing day. But the winter, as foretold by the witches, was nearing its end. The days were not as dark anymore, though the sun never shone over Caerdorne again. The night was not as cold, but the winter left a permanent chill behind. An ominous mark. It was to last forever. They would never see a warm day again.

And the creatures never left.

The wolves prowled in the night, claiming the dark as their own. And then one day, the people of Caerdorne received the news of a family of royal blood moving to live in the abandoned Castle of Caerdorne, that had not been lived in in centuries. No one but the groundskeeper ever stepped a foot near the castle, for that it was believed to be haunted and cursed. Mothers forbade their children from getting any close to it. Even infants wept at the mere mention of the castle.

From the outside, the castle was all grey, decrepit, cobwebby, surrounded by a sinister-looking gate that was determined to keep everyone out. Thorn bushes adorned the front and back yards. No one knew who the last family that had lived there was or where they were now, except that they had lived there about eight centuries ago. That was a very long time ago.

In spite of their dire situation, the people of Caerdorne were excited about the royal family moving in. Or perhaps it was curiosity rather than excitement. Not even when the city was thriving did the outsiders want to visit such a backward place. Who in their right mind would want to live here now with the savage wolves giving everyone a hard time?

Perhaps they were not people in their right mind.

No one really saw the family move in, however, even though some speculated that they came in the dead of the night, riding in a carriage drawn by horses with deep, blood-red eyes and a hide as thick and dark as the Stygian river. They came as silent as the wind and settled without causing the sound of a pin drop.

Slowly, the wolves disappeared, one by one. The people believed that it was due to the end of the long winter. The creatures were retreating back to their dark caves. Nights, though black and forbidding, were not as threatful anymore. The people began to come out again. There were many festivities, making up for those missed in the last four years. For a brief while, the people got to rejoice and relax.

And then a man went missing.

It started with one man. Then every month, someone disappeared mysteriously. The thick grey clouds never made way for a single ray of sunshine. The days and nights were full of threats once again. And this time, it was not the wolves. This time, no one knew what their curse was.

It lurked in the shadows and struck in silence.

After that, Caerdorne was the dead city. The people cowered in dread, but they learned to live with it, too. This was home. And they were determined to stay.

It was not until many years later when they began to suspect the notoriously private royal family, who lived in the Castle of Caerdorne. Rumours started to circle around them.

Some aggressively announced that they were a family of vampires. Others knew better than to provoke the vampires and stayed silent. Those who spoke a word against the Blackthorne family disappeared, too.

Whatever the Blackthornes were, they were here to stay.

Black oozed into the streets, making the days gloomy and grey. The smell of blood forever hung in the air that roved through the city. The people no longer lived fearing the wolves, but now, they were living amongst the deadliest creatures of the night of all.

* * *

# Part One

* * *

# C H A P T E R O N E

The books in the library made them sound like such monsters, he thought, slamming yet another book shut. The books always exaggerated and generalized way too much. Huffing heavily, he fell onto the desk and stared at the flickering candleflame before him. He brought a finger to the flame. His father had told him many times to not to play with fire, but he could not help it. It was the only time he could feel anything. It was not as excruciating as his father always made it sound. It really was not so bad, and it always healed, though he did not heal as quickly as his father could.

Pulling his finger back, he stared the burned skin and red, stinging flesh. It gave him some sort of satisfaction to feel the subtle pain.

“What are you doing in here?”

His head shot up to look at his governess, who strode into the library with her hands on her hips. That meant she was angry. She was always angry. Especially at him.

“I was reading,” he said, straightening up in his chair.

The governess peered at the title of the book he was flipping through. “_The… Deadly Bloodsuckers_,” she said, arching an eyebrow. “Why do we even have these books in the library…”

She rubbed her wrinkled forehead anxiously.

“They call us _leeches_,” Kai said, frowning. “Like those dirty, fat, ugly bugs in the swamp.”

His governess pinned him with a hard glower. “Which is why you should not be reading such books. They are full of nonsense.”

“They slaughter cows, goats, chickens, even rabbits all the time,” he grumbled under his breath. “Father only takes one old man or woman once a month to feed our entire house. Some months, we just drink rat blood!”

Sometimes, his father would bring him squirrels and mountain lions. One time, he brought home a bear cub, and Kai had refused to eat that night. He went to his room and cried and cried for the bear cub. He made his father promise the next day to never bring home another baby animal. He was nine then.

Then there were the pesky wolves. Kai hated them the most. They were noisy, dirty, smelly and their blood always left a foul aftertaste in his mouth. Still, his father often came home with one every now and then. Not completely dead, but dead enough for them to sip the blood out of the furry beast’s veins while it was still warm and delicious, and quite nutritious, without any fuss. He did not particularly like the taste of their blood, but he liked them all to be dead all the same.

“That’s enough,” the governess huffed exasperatedly. “Come now. Your father wants to see you.”

He groaned when she lifted him off the chair and placed him on the ground. He hated it when she and the others did that. He was twelve years old. He knew how to climb down from a chair, just like how he knew how to wipe the blood stains from his own lips once he was done feeding. He did not need people treating him like he was a baby bat. He got plenty of that from his father already.

And speaking of bats, no, vampires did not turn to bats at will. They did not possess such a ridiculous power, as the books made them out to do.

“Come on,” said the governess as she took hold of Kai’s hand.

“I can walk on my own,” Kai muttered, pouting, but did not pull his hand away.

His governess ignored him as she dragged him out of the library and headed for his father’s room.

The castle was huge and always quiet. It had five storeys and two towers. Kai had never been to the two towers. They were always locked, and when he asked his father about them, the man simply told him that the keys to those towers were lost.

They did not have many servants. Just two. Justus and Alicja, who were both human but had pledged their allegiance to the Blackthorne family to keep their lives and earn the protection of the vampires. They had been working for the family for nearly twenty years. Vampires did not always offer such protection to the humans.

His father constantly reminded him that, _“A predator should be familiar with his prey, but should never be friends with one.”_

Kai supposed he was right. It would be pretty awkward if you would want to eat your friends one day. Not that he had many friends. He had a lot of cousins though, whom he visited once a year during Winter Solstice. They usually had a lot of fun chasing rats, but Kai did not have any friends. Most of the days, he spent all of his waking hours in the library, sharpening his knowledge. His father told him that there was nothing in this world that wielded a greater power than good knowledge. _And_ he also told Kai that not all knowledge was good. Some were evil. Some were never meant to see the light of day.

Anyway, most vampires had human servants. Vampires would never work for another vampire. They were all masters at the top of the food chain, and they all had serious ego problems.

Kai did not mind the humans in the castle. They did not look like entrées to him, like they often did to Father when the man had not had a drop of blood for long. Unlike his full-blooded vampire father, Kai was only part vampire. Which meant he could live on human foods as much as he could live on blood. That did not mean he did not crave blood from time to time. He did get a little fussy and jittery when he had not had some for more than eight weeks. He still liked to think that his father had a better self-control than he did. His father would never take more than what they needed. He said that overindulging could be the undoing of an entire species. There was never a surfeit of blood in the house. But there was plenty of human foods. For Kai and the servants. His father never touched human foods. He said that they made him sick if he consumed them.

Whenever Kai was hungry, he would raid the pantry until it was completely empty. Justus, the cook, would snarl at him every time the man found him crouched in the pantry, face covered in blobs of chocolate pudding.

He’d say, “You will rot your teeth!”

Kai did not care about what the man said. He was a vampire, he knew his teeth would not rot that easily. If they could, he was sure his father would have told him something about it.

“And you know how important teeth is to a vampire!” growled Justus.

Justus was not at all afraid of Kai. Kai was smaller than he was, and weaker. For now. But he shook in his pants every time Kai’s father was around. One wrong move and he could be the vampire’s next meal.

But Kai liked to think that his father was more decent and upright than the humans and the books gave him credit for. He was loyal and calm. He was not _‘a monstrous bloodsucker with no sense of morality’_ as the human clerics had described vampires to be in the books. Yes, he could be scary when he was angry, but he was rarely angry. The last time Kai had seen the man angry was three years ago when a wolf broke into the castle and nearly harmed Kai in his sleep. Kai woke up to the bloody sight of his father ripping the wolf’s jaw apart with his bare hands in his bedroom. It was a mess.

Oh, did he mention? His father was outstandingly strong. Kai knew he would be just as strong one day, if his stupid human genes did not ruin it all for him.

His father was also loyal. Kai thought so because after his mother had died at childbirth, giving birth to _him_, his father never took another wife. He vowed to spend the rest of his immortal life with only the memories of the woman he loved so dearly. Sometimes, Kai wondered how he could have fallen in love with a human. He never asked his father, though. He did know much about their story. Everything that he knew about them was what his governess had told him. He never talked to his father about his mother, and his father never talked to him about her either. Never. A part of him had always worried that his father might be resenting him a little for being the reason why his beloved wife had died. He had killed his own mother, had he not?

Justus lived in one of the outbuildings for the servants behind the castle with his family. He had a wife and a young daughter, who was almost Kai’s age now. Kai never saw her or Justus’ wife. The only time he saw them was when they moved in. Justus must have forbidden them from stepping into the castle. Kai was not even sure if they knew the truth about the Blackthorne family. Apparently, many people did not.

Lada, his governess, was a half-human, half-vampire like Kai. Which was why she could grow old. She was already 72 years old, but she still had plenty of dark strands in her otherwise grey hair. She had told Kai that he would age differently than she did. Every vampire matured differently. It depended on a lot of factors. Bloodline, diet, the peak of their maturity. The humans had the misconception that vampires did not age. They did, very slowly once they reached the point of maturity. Kai’s father was at least 150 years old and barely looked a day older than 40. Since he had both full-blooded parents, he aged slower than half-vampires. Kai was told that he would keep growing until the human cells in his body began to die faster than they could regenerate. That was when the vampiric cells would take over his body in full swing. Kai figured that would be in his late twenties.

Lada had never told her late husband that she was a half-vampire. He died before her, of course, not knowing why his wife aged much slower than he did or why she often smelled of blood. It was one of the fatal flaws of human nature. They refused to see anything they were not looking for. Lada had no children. It was not that half-vampires could not bear children, or the full-blooded. She just did not want any children, Kai supposed.

Kai was born here, in Caerdorne, in this very castle. And he almost never left it. The only time he had ever left the castle was when his father took him hunting for squirrels. Even then, he was not allowed to wander too far away, and he was not allowed to go into the city. But his father promised him that once he was old and strong enough, he could go wherever he wanted.

They were royalty. Or at least that was what Kai was told. Most of his family were royalty. Not that it mattered much, anyway. Not to him or his father at least. Royalty did not mean crowns and jewels and chariots, like the humans did it. Royalty meant the progenies of the pureblood, the first vampires.

“Watch your step,” his governess told him as they wended their way upstairs. Kai almost rolled his eyes at her. What would happen if he did not? Fall down a few steps and scrape a knee? It would heal!

Sometimes, he hated the fact his father and everyone else were forcing humanity down his throat. His father, especially, wanted Kai to grow up as human as he could. Probably because that was his weird, twisted way of honouring his late wife’s memories. Perhaps _she_ had wanted Kai to be more human than vampire.

But the truth was that Kai was more vampire than anything else. He did not know much about the humans, apart from what he learned through the windows of the castle, books, and his two human servants. But he certainly knew that he was not a human and would never be one.

It had not stopped his father from trying to keep him human for as long as he could. Some days, he would not even let Kai have human blood. He would tell Kai to go down to the basement and catch some rats himself. Those days, Kai would just eat human foods because he was too angry at his father to deal with annoying rats.

Lada gave the door a gentle knock before she entered. She did not really have to knock. His father heard everything that went on all five storeys of the castle. He probably knew they were on their way when they left the library.

But he was still the master of the house, and the respect was given to him.

The widower was at his desk as usual, nursing a wineglass of velvety red liquid in his hand. Like Kai, he also loved reading. But Lada had once said that no one loved reading as much as Kai’s mother did. She was a very well-read woman, who spoke her own mind without an ounce of fear of judgment, and that those qualities were what had appealed the most to Kai’s father. Well, that and her nonpareil beauty. Kai had seen her portraits. She was very beautiful indeed.

Looking away from his book, the man greeted Kai with a gentle smile. “You cannot spend all of your evening at the library,” he said. “Have you practised your piano today?”

Kai shook his head guiltily. He hated the piano. His father knew that. Just like how he already knew that Kai had not practised today.

“What about your swordplay?” asked his father.

That Kai enjoyed. Except that Justus was the worst opponent to practise with. “I will not get any better at it with Justus,” he told his father. “And you are far too busy to train with me these days.”

He was not even sure if his father were busy. Some days, the man just stayed holed up in the room he had once shared with his wife.

His father sighed. “I am aware of that.”

Kai chewed on his lower lip.

Then there was another knock at the door. Kai smelled something foreign. Unlike his father, he could not smell or hear something from a great distance. But he could easily catch a whiff of something extremely foul-smelling or delightfully nice-smelling from at least twenty feet away.

And whatever that was standing on the other side of the door smelled like Alicja and something… sweet.

Like blood lime and magnolia. Kai only got to smell those when he visited his cousins. Blood lime cordial and pickled magnolia biscuits. Kai loved those!

But they were not what stood behind that door. These smelled more… alive. Alive and wrapped in some warm skin.

It was definitely not Alicja. She smelled like damp soil and stale bread. Kai hated her. She was always so jumpy around him, like he was going to eat her at any moment. He swore he once heard her whisper to Justus in the kitchen, _“I don’t trust them.”_ She was quite old, too. 51 years old and damn ugly. And she looked so much older than Lada. Sometimes, she stole the silverware from the kitchen. Sometimes, she stole knobs of butter. Kai caught her a couple of times, but he chose not to tell anyone about it. He doubted that his father had not already known about it for that the man knew literally everything that went on in the castle and the city. Kai would not drink her blood even if she were the last living thing in this world.

He looked at his father to see if the man had been surprised by the foreign scent. If he had, the man did not show any sign of it. He closed the book he was reading, drained the last drop of blood from the cup, and rose from his seat. Then calmly crossing his arms over his chest, he leaned back against the edge of his desk. He must have known that someone was coming to see him.

Lada got the door.

Alicja entered with a nervous look on her wrinkly face. She was always nervous, but she looked even more nervous today.

“Master,” she said with the usual tremor in her croaky voice, bowing her head.

Kai looked away from her and fixed his eyes on the small creature that was standing behind her, hiding behind her skirt. He froze completely for a moment, jaw falling slack.

It was a human boy.

Kai nearly gasped. That had never happened before. He had never been given quite a shock like this one. No human boy had ever come into this castle.

Clinging to Alicja’s skirt, the boy took a shy peek at Kai. He was not smiling, he did not look scared. He just seemed as confused as Kai was, though less shocked. They were now staring at each other. The boy looked slightly shorter than Kai, so they could as well be the same age.

Vampires were said to be the palest things that walked the earth. But the boy was paler than Kai was. Well, Kai was part human after all. But the boy was definitely not part vampire. He was all human and all pale. Except for the apple of his cheeks, nose, lips, fingers and knees. They were all pink. He had a head full of thick, dark hair, too. Browner than Kai’s. Silkier.

Kai instantly wanted to put his hands around the boy’s neck and suck every last drop of blood out of him. Would it taste like blood lime cordial and pickled magnolia?

“Is this the boy you spoke of?” Kai’s father asked the servant.

Alicja nodded. “Yes, Master. This is Sehun. He’s twelve. He is my niece’s son. The plague recently took her, and this poor bastard is now an orphan. I am his only living relative, which means I have to take care of him now.”

Kai watched his father rub his chin for a moment before he turned his attention back to the boy, who was no longer staring at him. Instead, he was frowning at the floor with a sad moue. He looked like he might cry.

Kai wanted him to cry.

“Sehun,” Kai’s father called. In an even bigger shock, Kai glanced over to the man who beckoned the human boy forward. Why would his father want to talk to this small, insignificant little pale thing? Did he not have more important matters to attend?

Alicja pried the boy away from her skirt and forced him to step forward. “Don’t be rude, Sehun,” she chided him rightfully. “Come. Greet the master.”

The boy looked nervous now as he took a step toward Kai’s father, raising his head all the way up to look at the tall man. His eyes were wide and glassy. He held his hands close to his chest, as though he were about to pray.

Kai nearly scoffed. He then mustered the dirty rags the boy was clad in. His threadbare shirt had holes in it, like a rat had chewed through it. His stained shorts stood slightly above his pink knees. And he was wearing a pair of socks, no shoes. Apart from himself, everything else about the boy was dirty.

“You don’t have to be afraid,” Kai heard his father say to the boy, arms crossed over his chest, lips curled into a faint reassuring smile.

“I… I am not afraid,” the boy replied in a soft but steady voice. Kai’s heart skipped a beat. How dare he! Every human trembled in their presence. How dare this slimy little shit meet his father’s gaze so boldly and tell the man that he was not afraid?!

Kai wanted to lunge at him at once, fangs and all, and hurt him. Show him why he _should_ be afraid!

But then his father chuckled. “You must be very brave, then,” he told the boy. He looked… amused by the kid. “Are you going to a school yet?”

The boy shook his head. “No, sir.”

“Not yet,” said Alicja, putting her hands on the boy’s shoulders to pull him back. “He just arrived at Caerdorne today. But I will have him enrolled in the local school forthwith.”

All of Kai’s lessons were taken by his governess, whom he believed to be quite knowledgeable. Some days, his father would teach him instead, especially numbers. He could not go to the school in Caerdorne. It was conducted in a chapel by religious parsons. Unfortunately, the books were right about vampires being unholy and forbidden from stepping onto hallowed grounds. They would burn and go up in flames immediately.

“Very well,” said his father. “Then perhaps when you have returned from your lessons, you could practise swordplay with my son, Kai.”

Kai froze, his eyes bulging out at the boy, who slowly turned to look at him. He almost protested his father’s words, but he knew better than to disobey his father in front of others.

“I don’t… know how, sir,” the boy told the man, turning to him again with a frown.

“You will learn,” he said it like it was an order. For Kai. “Kai will teach you.”

“Come along now,” Alicja then muttered, dragging the boy away. “I don’t want you making any trouble for anyone here. Am I understood?”

The boy nodded his head sorrowfully, following his grandaunt out of the room. He only glanced back once to look at Kai, who impulsively stuck his tongue out at him. Gasping under his breath, the boy hurried after Alicja.

“Kai,” his father called once the door was shut.

“I don’t like him, Father!” Kai announced at once, his voice at the top of his lungs. His father stared at him with a nonplussed look. “He annoys me!”

“You have just met him,” his father said, sinking back in his seat. Kai’s vexation spiked at the way his father was defending the filthy human boy. “You keep asking for friends. Now, you can have one.”

Kai blinked. Was that why his father told the boy to practise with Kai? So that Kai could have a friend?

“I would never want to be friends with someone who’s related to Alicja! She is a slimy worm bucket and I’m sure her grandnephew is one, too!” Kai spat at him, pouting annoyedly. “Besides, I thought a predator is not supposed to befriend his prey,”

His father let out a breathy laugh. “He is not your prey.”

“He is!” Kai argued. “He is a human. I’m a vampire. I can drink his blood if I wanted!”

Lada pinned him with a disapproving look at his side.

“But you will not,” said his father with a sigh. “Perhaps the boy could teach you how to be more human. And you will never use our true identity to browbeat and threaten him. Do I make myself clear?”

The man was only making Kai angrier. So, that was his father’s plan? To use the human boy as a way of teaching Kai how to be _‘more human_’? Pathetic.

His father was not going to change his mind no matter what, not when it came to Kai’s humanity. So, he furiously spat out a, “Yes, Father,” and stomped out of the room once the man had dismissed him. He did not wait for his governess as he made his way to his own bedroom.

Flopping on the bed, he screamed into the pillow before he lowered it from his face and glared menacingly at the muraled black wall before him.

He would have to get rid of the human boy himself. He would make the boy’s life a hell, he thought to himself. He had wanted friends, yes, but he did not want _that_ boy. Not in his house, not anywhere near it or him. There was something about that immediately did not sit well with Kai. Perhaps there was something evil about him, but he was determined to be the evilest of all. He would scare the boy away. By hook or by crook.

Scrambling up to his feet, he hurried over to the foggy window and squinted his eyes to look at the outbuildings, which were not any bigger than a brick shack. The one on the farthest left belonged to Justus and his family. Alicja lived in the one near the stables. Kai rose to the tip of his toes to get a better look when he spotted the woman marching toward her home. Beside her, the boy hurried along, a hand clinging to her skirt.

Once they had disappeared into the house, Kai sank back into his bed and planted his chin despondently in his hands.

* * *

While his father could go on for weeks without any sleep, the longest Kai could go without one was a day or two. And that was on a full stomach. But he had made it a habit to go to sleep every night. Or it was more of a habit his father had forced upon him. Kai never understood why his father was obsessed with keeping Kai a human when he clearly was not one.

For the last two weeks, as soon as he was awake, he scurried out of his bed as the first thing and looked out the window. Most days, in the morning, he would catch the pale boy leaving for school, clad in the same raggedy clothes he owned. Alicja did not see him off as she was already up and about in the castle. So, the boy closed the door on his own and started for the back gate. Each time when he reached it, he would stop to glance back at the castle. He would shudder and make an odd face at it before he would hurry away down the street.

Kai would watch him until he was completely out of his sight, disappearing into the thick fog that rolled over the gloomy city in the morning.

Then Kai would get on with his own day. Though he bathed on his own now, he still needed the governess’ help to get dressed. There were just too many laces and too many buttons on everything that he wore. He was not even sure why he needed to wear these fancy, frustrating clothes all the time since no one ever came to visit him.

Then he would go down for breakfast, hoping that his father would be there, too. He seldom was. The first few years, Kai used to resent his father for always letting him eat on his own, but now, since he was twelve, he decided not to make a huge deal out of it. His father was a busy vampire, after all. And it must be a little awkward for his father to just sit there and watch him eat his human foods.

Later that evening, however, they dined together when his father came home with a bunch of knocked-out squirrels. Seated at the dining table, Kai reached for a furry squirrel and brought it to his mouth. He felt his fangs push through his gums before he sank them into the squirrel’s warm flesh. They always ate alone with the servants nowhere to be seen.

He was not sure when his father had snuck out of the castle to catch the squirrels. He did not ask. He never knew when or how his father left the castle. He just always wished that the man would take him along.

Once he was done draining the squirrel of its blood, he tossed it aside and faced his father. He watched the man feed for a moment. There was a certain grace about him, one that Kai did not think he himself possessed.

“Are we going to Rogaena this Winter Solstice?” he asked his father, leaning back in his chair.

His father lowered the squirrel and wiped the blood from his lips with a napkin before he said, “Of course, we are.”

Kai grinned at once. He was already counting the days to Winter Solstice. It was two whole weeks of fun with his cousins. Most of them were all full-blooded vampires, but they liked the half-blooded ones all the same. Or they at least liked _him_. He was the only half-vampire in the Blackthorne family, though. Or at least he was the first. His cousins called him flattering things like the ‘Blood Prince’, which Kai proudly accepted. Even though most of the time, he only drank rat blood. Blood was blood, he supposed, although animal blood was distinctively less satisfying than human blood.

“Father,” he called once he was full. He did not wait for the man’s response to speak again. “Will we live here forever?”

His father never let his face reveal his thoughts. But this time, his deep lour that turned the corners of lips down partly displayed the troubled thoughts that must be running in his mind.

“We will,” he said, expression returning stoic once again. “for as long as we can survive here.”

Why wouldn’t they survive here, Kai wondered, but he did not ask.

“Why must we eat squirrels and rats?” he then asked in a slightly sour tone. And why must his father be nice to a human boy when he could just eat him?

His father understood his real question. “Because humans do not reproduce as fast as squirrels and rats do. If we overfeed, we would run out of humans.”

He had a point, Kai supposed. “How do humans reproduce?”

Not that he knew how squirrels and rats reproduced, but he had seen the word reproduce countless times in books, and he never really understood it. He knew the end product was offspring, but he did not get the process.

His father looked a little flustered from Kai’s question and all the blood he had just drunk. He had had enough blood that his cheeks were able to show some colour.

“Perhaps that is a question I will answer when you are a little older,” the man said. “Or it is a question you can pester your governess with.”

Kai blinked. His father never shied away from a question. “The books say that when vampires reproduce, they give birth to demons.”

That made his father laugh softly. “Are you a demon?”

“No.”

“Are your cousins demons?”

“No.” He had seen drawings of demons. They definitely did not look like one. No wings, no tails, no horns, no ugly teeth.

“Then the books are wrong,” said his father. “Not everything written down is accurate, son.”

That was something to think about. Then how would Kai know if he was reading the right stuff?

After dinner, his father retired to his study while Kai aimlessly wandered the corridors of the castle. There was always something new to explore in this place. He was constantly surprising himself with new paintings or rooms. The outside was chillier than usual tonight. Kai did not mind. The cold had never bothered him. Not as much as the warmth did. But he could definitely tolerate the sun, which he only ever saw when he was travelling away from Caerdorne, better than his father could.

The sun did not burn vampires, not as it was speculated in the books. Another exaggeration. It did cause discomfort to the point where their skin was blistered even with the smallest exposure, but it could not set them on fire or anything. That was utter hogwash. The vampires just liked and preferred to live in gloomy and dark places. Like bats. Perhaps that was why the humans believed that vampires could shapeshift into bats.

The sunless climate was the reason why the Blackthornes moved to Caerdorne, after hearing about the long winter. The sun never shone this way, for some reason.

The wolves were annoying at first. But one by one, Kai’s father had gotten rid of them. Now, they only lurked in the woods near the mountains. Except that one wolf that had attacked Kai in the night in his room some years ago.

He came to a halt in the corridor, glancing at the outbuildings, when he heard voices. He spotted the boy first, crouched on the ground, poking at the solid dirt with a stick. His feet were clothed in the same socks he was always in everywhere he went, except when he was going to school.

“I don’t think… I know your name,” he heard another voice. A girl’s voice.

Kai slid his hands into the pockets of his pants and watched Justus’ daughter shyly make her way toward the human boy. They were both humans, and Kai did not particularly like either of them.

“It’s Sehun,” the boy said, rising back to his full height. He rubbed his hand clean on his shorts before he held it out to the girl. “I-I’m Sehun.”

Even through the fog and the dark of the evening, Kai could see the girl blushing. She looked around for her mother before she took the boy’s hand with her own and gave it a small shake.

“Marie,” she muttered. She was dressed in a blue peasant’s gown and had her honey-brown hair tied up in two braids. Kai had not known her name was Marie. Well, now he did.

“Do you know how to play _Noughts-and-Crosses_?” asked Sehun, crouching back on the ground. The girl, Marie, adopted a crouch at his side and watched him drag the stick across the dirt before them.

“No, I don’t think I do.”

“I can teach you,” said the boy. “I learned it at school today.”

Gripping his jaw and gnashing his teeth, Kai stomped away from there before he could lunge at them and bite them both to suck their bloods out until they were like the squirrels he had drained at dinner.

* * *

He could not shake the question from his head even after days. So, while his governess undressed him for a bath, undoing the laces of his shirt, he asked, “What is reproducing?”

Lada did not seem shaken by the question. Not the way his father had been. She peeled the shirt from Kai’s body and rose back to her full height. Folding the shirt, she carefully put it away with the rest of the dirty laundry that was to be washed.

Kai did not like getting naked in front of the lady, so he usually waited until he was alone in the bathing chamber to step out of his trousers.

“How does it work?” he asked. He had seen men and women walk down the street with children. And he had seen a man with another man, who had a swollen belly. He had also seen a woman with another woman. One of his uncles had married another man and had a child with him. Not a demon, by the way. In fact, that child was one of Kai’s favourite cousins.

His governess crossed her arms over her chest and looked down at him with a stern and expressionless face. “Reproduction is a process between two consulting adults to bear children, young master Kai.”

She always had a dull way of explaining things.

“I figured that,” Kai muttered. “But what is the… _process_?”

“Why do you ask?”

“Well… Won’t I need to have children of my own one day? How can I do that if I don’t know how to do it?”

His governess seemed to grow impatient with his questions. Perhaps she had not had any blood in a while. “It is something you need to worry about when you are older. For now, get in the bath and scrub yourself clean.”

Kai huffed exasperatedly. He was so sick and tired of everyone treating him like a child.

* * *

The next time he met the boy, it was in the courtyard, and they were facing each other under a grim evening sky with swords in their hands. Kai’s was a double-edged children’s longsword and Sehun’s was a wooden sword, which he did not know how to wield.

He looked at it confusedly, like he did with most things, when Justus handed it to him. “I don’t know how to hold one,” he admitted to the servant with a frown.

Justus seemed rather disinterested as he ignored the boy and stepped away. He was ordered to keep an eye on them while they practised, so it was exactly what he was going to do. Keep an eye on them and nothing more.

Kai took a stance and tightened his grip on the sword. He told himself to concentrate because all that he had been doing ever since the human boy had stepped into the courtyard was stare at his socked feet. It also annoyed him that Sehun’s hair was always such a mess, like a bird’s nest, like it had never seen a comb.

With a sigh, Sehun tore his gaze from the wooden sword and fixed it on Kai. The corners of his lips tried to curl into a smile, but it came out so nervous that he might as well not tried to smile at all.

“Hi,” he said innocently. “You can call me… Sehun.”

His voice cut through the mirthless ambience of the city like a saw cutting through steel. Kai did not like how sweet it sounded. In fact, he did not like anything about the boy.

“I’ll call you whatever I want,” Kai hissed at him.

The boy’s face instantly wilted. His attempts to appear polite and friendly faltered just like that. His hands began to tremble around the grip of the wooden sword. But his eyes were steady, slightly determined. Kai wanted to make them weep.

Before Sehun even had a chance to brandish his wooden sword, Kai lurched forward and struck the boy’s weapon with his own, disarming him at once.

As the wooden sword slipped from his fingers, Sehun watched it drop to the ground. He then raised his dumbfounded gaze to Kai, who sneered spitefully at him.

“Really?” he spat at the boy. “Pick it up, pansy.”

Sehun winced but crouched and picked the wooden sword up. He held it in place again. Kai noticed the boy grip it harder this time. He lunged at him again and knocked the wooden sword out of the boy’s hand.

Sehun’s eyes began to well up with tears then. He looked so confused and out of place, like he did not know what was happening or _why_ it was happening.

Kai did not have to tell him to pick it up again. The boy did it on his own account. Kai had another surge of pleasure disarming Sehun once more. And another. And another.

He watched the boy pant and heave for breath just from retrieving the wooden sword from the ground repeatedly. Then he began to advance with more aggression. Kai could feel his own heart pump hard as he pressed towards the boy, slamming his blade against the wooden sword until it began to split, splinters springing out of it with each strike.

Sehun retreated, though he surprisingly kept a good grip on the sword this time, until he had no more room left to back off to in the courtyard. And he finally broke into tears, eyes clenched tightly in fear.

Kai gave the wooden sword one last blow before it dropped from Sehun’s hands. He then stood up straight and watched the boy cry for a long minute.

“Pathetic,” he scoffed at the human boy before he marched past him, bumping against his shoulder on purpose.

That was how it started. From that day onwards, Sehun would show up at the same courtyard with a new wooden sword every evening. It was the only time Kai ever got to meet the boy in person. Otherwise, he would watch the boy (and often Marie) play in the backyard near their home from his window. He told himself that, one day, he would kill them both and suck them dry. He hated them. Well, he did not hate the Justus’ daughter as much as he hated the human boy, but he would still kill them both. Because he could. Because he was a vampire. Would that make him a monster like the books made vampires out to be?

Every evening, Sehun was there, in his socks, for him to torture. And Kai constantly found new ways to make him cry until they were fifteen. After that, things changed.


	2. Chapter 2

# C H A P T E R T W O

He was going to kill Kai of Blackthorne one day. And he was going to enjoy every bit of doing it. As dramatic as it sounded, it was the truth. It was his destiny.

It had been nearly eight years since he first came to Caerdorne. The wicked city that descended into evil and horror to the point of no return. With each dark year that passed, the perversion that haunted the streets of Caerdorne, the carnages that transpired in the dark, the arrogance of blood-eating creatures that hunted freely swelled and inflamed.

He could not remember what his thoughts were when he first came here, in a farmer’s wagon, with nothing but a small trunk of his worthless belongings. Mostly because at the time, he was more verklempt with the grief of losing his mother to pay much heed to the place he would live in for the rest of his life.

Many years had passed since then. And every year, he watched Caerdorne grow more and more heinous. Like most people who still lived here, he too believed that they were in the midst of vampires. Murderous vampires.

And he lived all too close to them.

Some, however, continued to ignorantly believe that those were just rumours. Besides, no proof had ever been found to officially accuse the Blackthornes to be vampires.

Not for the lack of trying on his part, though. He had tried. Time and again. To expose them for the monsters they were. But he knew that as soon as he did that, he would be dead.

It was not until he turned fifteen when he realized that he would kill Kai one day. The evil would stop with him. And Sehun would see to it personally that the bloodsucker was eradicated before he could spawn more vampires and sire demons that would plague this world.

He had thought of leaving this bedevilled city many times, but he could not for quite a few reasons.

One, he was indebted to his grandaunt who had raised him since he was twelve when he was never her responsibility to begin with. Still, she had taken him in and put a roof over his head when he had nowhere but the streets to turn to. She was a bitter old spinster, she always reminded him that he was a deadweight of a burden and she never stopped talking about what a _whore_ his mother was for having borne the child of a deadbeat man who had left them as soon as she had gotten pregnant, but he did what he could to repay her kindness.

He had asked her many times over the years what she knew about the Blackthornes, both the father and son, being vampires. She only ever told him one thing: _“Don’t poke your nose somewhere it doesn’t belong.”_ She had a valid point, but he had a mission. He could tell that his grandaunt did not really care about what he was trying to find. But she cared greatly about keeping her own life.

Two, he did not have the resources he needed to get out of here. The chapel had provided him with only simple education. Caerdorne had no colleges, and even if there were, he did not have the money to go to one. Not that he was clever enough to get in one, anyway. After he had turned seventeen, he helped his grandaunt and Justus work the backyard of the castle, where honestly nothing but thorn bushes could grow. Though cutting them down was a laborious hassle. He was never allowed into the castle, not that that had stopped him from going in there, anyway. He had only ever been _inside _the castle twice, however. He usually just skulked around the corridors, looking to catch either Kai or his father doing something suspicious. The first time he was inside, he was brought to meet the man who owned the place. He was only a kid then, a scared, lonely, grieving kid who did not know where his fate lied. The second time, he was snooping, looking for rotting carcases or something that would bust the Blackthornes good and proper. And by some sick misfortune, he got caught by Kai. He was allowed into the courtyard, however. The place where he would one day kill Kai. Really, he had it all planned out.

Third, he did not know where he would go if he left here. Sure, he had heard his grandaunt say that the world was a very big place. But the people of Caerdorne believed fanatically that this was their home, and they would not leave it for generations to come, even if the city were in ruins and rubbles. He was not sure if he shared their sentiment, but he did not have a home anywhere else.

Fourth, he still had a vampire to kill. He was sure that Kai and his father were one, even though he had one seen the older man a handful of times. Kai, on the other hand, he met nearly every day. How was he so sure that they were vampires? He heard the rumour first, and it never really left him. It hounded him consistently, and he spent restless nights wondering if he were really living with vampires. He decided that he would not have a good night’s sleep until he had confirmed that they were not vampires. And so, his quest had begun.

He first noticed the thick, metallic blood stench that always clung to Kai’s clothes. Especially in the evenings, not that he saw much of Kai at any other hour of the day. The entire city reeked of blood, but Kai smelled like fresh blood, and he was pretty certain that it was not Kai’s own blood. The one time that Kai had touched him—more like strangled him—his hands had been stupid cold. Like a dead person’s. Again, everything was cold in Caerdorne all year round, but this was different. He just knew it.

And then one evening, when he had come so close to slicing Kai’s chest open, the bastard had managed to jump out of the way and dodge the blow by an inch, and the blade struck his arm instead. Through the torn sleeve, he saw a gash deep enough to make one bleed and almost felt bad about it for a second before he realized that Kai was not bleeding. Kai sneered angrily and attacked him until the sword had slipped from Sehun’s grip. The hell-branded bastard could never let Sehun have the last word or the final blow. Until this day, Sehun had never won a single duel with Kai. The day he finally would was the day Kai would die. Sehun was certain that vampires could not live without a head or a heart.

Then when he snuck into the basement, which had smelled like rotten flesh and decay, he had nearly keeled over finding dead rats strewn over the ground. There were alive ones scampering all over, too. But the dead ones, at least the ones that had not decomposed yet, looked completely deflated like someone had sucked their insides out. He had almost made out of the basement when Kai caught him at the top of the stairs.

_“I know what the hell you are,”_ was the first thing that came out of Sehun’s mouth when he saw the tall, lean boy staring down at him with his hands in the pockets of his dark pants. It was a pretty stupid thing to say, but Sehun was half flustered about being caught red-handed, and half flabbergasted about what he had just discovered.

And the next thing he knew, the bastard was trying to kill him. Kai’s hand shot up to Sehun’s neck at once and grappled at his throat, ready to crush it if Sehun so much as breathed. It was not the first time Kai had tried to kill him, though. But for some odd reason, he always chickened out. Perhaps he feared his father. Perhaps he liked Sehun’s grandaunt too much to kill her grandnephew. Neither made much sense because the prick was a heartless, emotionless tyrant.

The last reason (and it probably should not be so far down on the list, but it was) was Marie. He was going to marry her someday. She was his future. She was his only friend in Caerdorne. He knew some of the kids who went to take lessons at the chapel with him, but in the last couple of years, ever since he was done with his education, he had not seen them. It was not that big of a city, but the streets were always dark and always foggy. No one ever came out. Shops closed before sunset. Foreign traders visited the city for no longer than a day with their goods. The city was mired in dirt and poverty. While the vampires lived in a castle—a filthy and old castle, but still a goddamn castle.

Anyway, Marie was his future. And he had a clear picture of it in his head. They would have a simple wedding at the chapel, and they would leave Caerdorne together to make a living somewhere more prosperous and less ghostly. Sehun already had Marie’s father’s blessing. He said, _“Good. I don’t need to find her a husband and spend my fortune on dowry,”_ when they told him about their relationship. And Sehun’s grandaunt gave a rat’s ass about whom he loved or married.

He loved Marie. He had been telling himself that since he was fourteen. He had not really told _her_ that, though. But it was implied. She was the only girl he had ever kissed. And he was the only boy she had ever kissed. They were each other’s destiny. Right from the moment they had met.

He loved running his fingers through her dark golden hair, which she occasionally tucked behind her ear when she was blushing. He loved her fair skin that was dusted with freckles that darkened on the slightly warmer days. She was pretty, Sehun thought. Prettier than most girls he had seen in Caerdorne. Some days, she had ribbons in her hair, and Sehun liked that very much. She was pretty and safe and there.

He first told her that he liked her when he was sixteen and she was fifteen. Up until then, she had only been his friend. She had turned so red that Sehun was worried that she might explode. They waited a year to kiss for the first time under a yew tree near the woods. She had been so distressed the whole way to the woods, but Sehun had tried to ease her apprehension by promising to protect her. He was a fairly decent swordfighter, after all. But she had been so high-strung and nervous about getting attacked by some creature from the woods that she had barely kissed Sehun back. Or maybe she did not know how. Sehun was not an expert at it either, but over the years, he had grown better at kissing. There was no way to tell though because Marie was far too shy to tell him if he were doing a good job.

It was not that people instantly got killed as soon as they stepped out of their house. Someone, usually old or ill, went missing every month, sometimes it was once every two or three months. Most of the time, people assumed that the person was dead in the woods, taken by wolves or some other animal. But Sehun knew that it was the vampires. He wholeheartedly believed that the Blackthornes were murderers.

Marie hated talking about them, though. Which sucked because she was the only one Sehun could really talk to about anything. Well, not _anything_, but most things. There were things that he never talked about to anyone. For instance, about his mother and her death, and what that had done to him.

Every time he would try telling Marie that Kai and his father were vampires, she would tell him to stop.

_“Father says that we should not talk about them. Our families are loyal to them,”_ she’d say.

Sehun hated _that_. He never promised his loyalty to any vampire. But Marie was too paranoid about everything. That made it difficult for him to talk to her about his plot to kill Kai before Kai could kill him. And Kai had been plotting to kill him since they were twelve!

_“I don’t think he is a vampire,”_ she had said once.

Sehun could not tell if it were giddy optimism or pure ignorance. There was often a fine line between them. Marie told herself (and him) that the Blackthornes had not harmed them, so why should he butt into their business?

It was true. Kai had never tried to harm Sehun out of their duels. Except for that one time in the basement. And well, he had tripped Sehun countless times at the courtyard and smirked arrogantly when Sehun fell and scraped his knees and palms. But he never really interacted with Sehun any other time.

He was a bit of a show off. Every time the servants or his governess was there to watch them practise, he would get a little extra enthusiastic. He was a better swordsman than Sehun would ever be, and he had outstanding, _inhuman_ reflexes. But Sehun liked to think that he was better at parrying. Over the years, Kai’s moves had gotten quite predictable that Sehun could now anticipate his next move easily. Not that it had helped Sehun beat him, not yet. Every time Kai would win, which was literally _every time_, he would either smirk or sneer while he sheathed his sword in an infuriatingly graceful and cocky manner.

And he would have barely broken a sweat, though Sehun had seen him sweat before. Vampires sweated, something the parsons and priests did not know. But it was valuable information to Sehun because he needed every bit of detail about Kai to be able to take him down.

He had tried to find out if Kai could piss, too. He knew Kai took baths because the bastard sometimes smelled like sandalwood-scented soap and walked around with damp hair. So, vampires could stink without a wash for long. They could also grow hair. Every time Kai would get a haircut, his hair would grow back. And once every week, Sehun saw a faint stubble on Kai’s chin, though Kai was mostly cleanshaven most of the days.

Marie came to watch them practise once in a while. She would sit on a cold bench in the courtyard so beautifully and watch them, eyes peeled and wide.

Every time Kai would smile or wink in her way, Sehun charged at him with every ounce of strength he had, wanting to slice the blood-eater open. Kai must take great pleasure in knocking him down in front of his girlfriend. Sehun had considered telling Marie to not to come to the courtyard when they were training, but it was exactly what Kai had wanted, for Sehun to be the coward so that he could use it against him to make fun of him. Sehun did not want to give him the satisfaction. One of these days, he was going to kill Kai in front of Marie while the bastard was still smirking.

“You are obsessed with him,” Marie told him one day as meandered their way back to the castle after getting the provisions Justus had asked them to acquire from the general store. While Sehun pushed the wheelbarrow that was holding sacks of potatoes, flours and sugar, Marie was carrying a basket of half-wilted rhubarbs.

He grimaced at her. “I am not _obsessed_ with him,” he told her defensively. He was. Quite obsessed with exposing Kai and his father for the monsters they were.

In the last couple of years, his obsession had rendered him sleepless at nights, and he would wander around the corridors looking for clues. Did vampires even sleep? He wanted to find out because that could present him with an advantage. Though he was not sure if he would want to kill Kai in his sleep. It would be far more satisfying to do it while they were duelling. He knew Kai’s bedroom was in the east wing. He never went near there.

“The only time you ever see him is during your practice,” said Marie. She was right. Kai had never wanted to purposely see Sehun any other time. In fact, he pretended like Sehun did not even exist whenever they were not in the courtyard, facing each other with deadly swords. “Why are you looking for trouble?”

Sehun had been looking for that trouble for five years now. “Because I know that he is a vampire!”

“And even if he is,” she huffed impatiently. “why does it matter to _you_?”

This part Sehun had been trying to answer for years. Did it matter because the parsons at the chapel told him that vampires should not be living among humankind? Did it matter because he had read and heard countless times that vampires were murderers and if they continued to procreate, it would be a real threat to the entire human race? Did it matter because Sehun wanted to be a hero to the people of Caerdorne, when even the people of Caerdorne were not courageous enough to revolt against the Blackthornes? Or was it more personal? Did it matter because Kai had been a jerk to him ever since their first meeting and he deserved to die because of that and Sehun was simply looking for an excuse? Sehun had lost hope for a friendship with Kai the first time he made him cry.

But he was not that vindictive. He did not think it was all that personal between him and Kai. Well, except when Kai was making sheep eyes at Marie. Then it was incredibly personal and Sehun wanted to kill him regardless, vampire or not.

“What if they run out of blood and we are the only ones close to his reach?” Sehun asked Marie as they reached the back gate of the castle. They had never used the front entrance. He was not sure if even Kai and his father used the front entrance.

Marie frowned at him. “He would not… hurt us.”

“Yes, he would, Marie,” said Sehun, putting the wheelbarrow down to push the gate open. “Because he is a hungry vampire, and he has no morals. Would you not go for a juicy roasted goat that is right in front of you if you haven’t eaten in days?”

He watched Marie rifle through her hair for any muck. Everything in Caerdorne was mucky. “I mean… you have a point.”

Sehun grinned.

“But we still don’t know for sure that they are vampires.”

Shaking his head, Sehun walked over to her and took her hands. He liked holding her hands. They were not particularly warm (nothing was warm in Caerdorne) but they were soft and gentle. He rubbed them in his to warm them up. Winter was always brutal here.

“Your father knows,” he said. “My aunt knows. They all know, but they can’t say it to anyone.”

Marie pulled her hands away from his and started for the outbuildings. “I think you should let go of this, Sehun. Before you could get yourself hurt.”

With a heavy breath, Sehun followed her into the backyard of the castle with the wheelbarrow.

When they reached the backdoor of the kitchen, Justus hurried outside, shivering and cursing under his breath. “Took you two lovebirds long enough,” he hissed, taking the basket of rhubarbs from Marie. “Were you two off snogging somewhere?”

Marie flushed red, tugging the shawl tighter around her shoulders.

“No,” said Sehun, picking up one of the sacks before handing it to the man. “We were not, Mr. Weber.”

“Good,” said the man. “I don’t want you knocking my daughter up before marrying her.”

Marie turned even redder. They had never talked about marriage, even though it were as clear as day that they would get married one day. They were each other’s future.

“I should go help mother,” Marie blurted out before she turned around and hurtled toward home. Sehun lingered a little longer at the kitchen corridor in case Justus needed any help lifting the sacks.

“I hope these don’t go to waste,” said Justus, rubbing his forehead as he eyed the sack of potatoes. “The Blackthornes left a week early for their Winter Solstice jollity.”

“What?!” Sehun must have sounded and looked ridiculous as he gaped at Justus in surprise. The man looked back at him with an arched eyebrow. Clearing his throat, Sehun said, “I mean… they don’t usually leave a week before the Winter Solstice. And there are two more weeks for Winter Solstice.”

“They left yesterday morning. And probably won’t be back for five weeks.”

Kai and his father always went away during Winter Solstice. Usually it was for three to four weeks. No one knew to where, but Sehun had a theory that it was to regroup with other vampires and plot their next big feast with a table full of dead, bloody people. Yes, it always was that busy in Sehun’s head.

Every time Kai was back from his little ‘vacation’, he would seem a little depressed and under the weather for a few days, like he was missing Winter Solstice and was already looking forward to the next one.

It was the time of the year Sehun looked forward to the most because the castle was free for him to snoop around and investigate for more clues. However, the last couple of years had been difficult because Kai’s governess had stayed behind to keep everything in check since Kai no longer needed her assistance for anything.

He wondered why they had left a week early this year. But it meant he would have more time to sticky-beak around the castle.

He started right away after lunch. His grandaunt always made the same thing for lunch and dinner. Corn soup with cornbread. And usually, last night’s dinner was today’s lunch. Which was why Sehun loved to go over to the Webers whenever he was invited to eat with them. Especially during the festive season. Justus was a sour puss, but his wife had always been kind and sweet to Sehun. She used to give him sweet peppermint-flavoured molasses taffy, which she loved making, every time he went over when he was younger. Sehun often wondered if she knew anything about the Blackthornes being vampires, but he never got around talking to her about them. Like Marie, she was also paranoid of everything.

He started with the basement. It was locked. It was always locked whenever the Blackthornes went away. Sehun was not all that disheartened by it, though, because he already knew what was down there. Rats. Both dead and alive.

The castle was huge. Not huge enough for kings and queens to live in, but huge. It had been eight years and he still managed to get lost from time to time.

He then glanced toward the west wing where the library was located. It was where Kai spent most of his time. Did he read books in there or was that where he went to stash his blood supply? Sehun was just annoyed because he knew that Kai went there to read books. Kai was the most well-read person in this entire city. Not even the parsons at the chapel knew half the things he knew. And Kai knew _a lot_. He loved to rub that into Sehun’s face pretty good, too. When they were younger, every time Sehun would ask for a break during the training, Kai would toss a random fact in his face. Like how an Aldabra giant tortoise could live up to 120 years. Sehun did not believe him at first until he realized that Kai never lied. The bastard was horrible and a complete ass, but he was always honest. Like when he bluntly told Sehun that he was the ugliest boy he had ever met in his life.

Kai would make a very good scholar if he wanted to be one. Or a great swordsman if he wanted to be one. Or even a masterful musician if he wanted to be one.

But he was a filthy vampire instead.

Sehun had never wanted to go into the library before. Not even when he knew it could hold some interesting clues. He would feel so small in a room so big and full of knowledge.

“Sehun,” he heard Marie call after him when she found him in the corridor. “Father is looking for you.”

Sehun nodded.

He then paused to look toward the east wing where Kai’s room resided. He closed a hand around the cross he was given at the chapel. He wore it around his neck at all times since he was fifteen. Marie wore one, too. It was not that Sehun was incredibly religious, but the cross was a blessed talisman that would keep him safe from a vampire’s fangs. It was the only reason why Kai had retreated that evening when he tried to kill Sehun in the basement. Sehun would never forget the way Kai had gawked at the cross that rested against his chest, hanging around his neck on a leather strip, before he turned around and walked away.

He wondered if he would finally muster the courage to trespass on Kai’s bedroom. Well, it was not about courage. It was about respecting one’s private space, even a sodding vampire’s. Sehun did not want to go through Kai’s personal things. But he supposed that he would not get another chance like this. He could find a lot of information in there. So, he decided that he would sneak into Kai’s room one of these nights and see for himself what horrible secrets the vampire held in there.

* * *

“You did not tell me that they were gone,” he told his grandaunt from he was, lounged on his pallet with his arms tucked under his head as he stared at the crevices in the ceiling.

Alicja did not look up at him as she continued to knit in the dim light of the oil lamp. “Who were gone?”

Sehun scoffed. “You know who. The Blackthornes.”

“Why must I tell you anything about them, boy?”

Sehun propped himself up on his elbows and scowled in her way. “How could you live near them and work _for_ them, Aunt Alicja?”

The woman seemed unbothered. After years of him bugging her for the truth, she had grown quite immune to his whinges. He dropped his head back on the pallet and sighed heavily.

“I know what they are,” he said, mostly to himself but he hoped his grandaunt was listening. “and I am going to do something about it.”

“I took you in and gave you a home,” she said. “Do not cause me any trouble by pestering the Blackthornes. I will not have my head torn off for your stupid curiosity.”

He was not going to pester them. He was just going to kill Kai. He did not really know what would happen after that, but a big part of his plan principally relied on improvisation.

* * *

He kept stalling. Most of the rooms in the castle was either locked or empty. The towers had always been locked for as long as Sehun could remember. Whenever Justus was not asking him to run errands, Sehun was roaming around the castle, looking for a new room to breach. But every time, he was left disappointed.

Though the castle looked like it was haunted and falling apart on the outside, it looked pretty great on the inside. Everything was made of dark wood and brass. Most of the floor was carpeted. The silken drapes were all either black or blood red. Oil lanterns and crystal chandeliers lit the hallways and rooms. The parsons had expected vampires to sit in a dark, cobwebby space.

He was on his way to Kai’s bedroom when he spotted a slim figure pacing the corridor, clad in a green kirtle, her tawny hair cascading down her back.

“Marie?” Sehun called, confused and curious about what she was doing here. She never dared to go into the castle, much less to Kai’s quarters.

She jumped with a start and turned around to face Sehun with a pair of wide, surprised eyes. “Sehun,” she gasped, crumpling something white in her hand before she hid it behind her back.

“What are you doing here?” asked Sehun, approaching her with a puzzled look. “It’s really late.”

“I know,” she muttered, cheeks crimsoning fiercely. She lowered her gaze, refusing to meet Sehun’s eyes. Sehun had known her long and well enough to know when she was guilty. And right now, she was so guilty of something that she could not even look at him. “What are you doing here?”

Sehun swallowed, raising a hand to rub the back of his neck. “I was looking for clues.”

That made Marie look up at him. She looked annoyed now. Her thin, golden eyebrows dipped low and she scowled at him. “Why are you always doing this?”

“Doing what?”

“This!” she said, angrily. Sehun was more confused than he was a moment ago. Why was she angry at him now? She had never been angry at him. “Always out and about to uncover some evil deeds Kai is doing.”

“That’s because he _is_ evil,” Sehun said.

“No, he isn’t,” she argued. She had never argued like this before either. Wow, she really sounded mad. As if this were the last straw that broke the camel’s back. “You are just desperately trying to find a way to feel like you are better than him.”

Sehun flinched back, eyes narrowing. “This is not some ego boost for me, Marie. I am not trying to _turn_ him into a bad guy. He _is_ the villain.”

“_Why_ is he the villain?” she snapped. “Because you keep losing to him at swordplay practice?”

“No!” he yapped. “You cannot possibly think that that’s what it’s all about.” He lowered his voice then. “He is a _vampire_.”

Marie scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest. Sehun saw the crumpled parchment peek out from her fingers. “If he were a vampire, he would be drinking blood, wouldn’t he?”

“He does drink blood!” Sehun exclaimed. “There are bunch of dead rats down in the basement. And where do you think all those people disappear to? The woods? I don’t think so, Marie.”

“A lot more people have died before the Blackthornes moved to Caerdorne.”

“Not quite the point I was making,” Sehun muttered, rubbing his forehead now. “Look. Why are we even arguing about this?”

“Because I feel like you are becoming unhinged. I see you, prowling around these corridors at night like a madman, seeking something he is never going to find.”

Sehun laughed at that. “All right. Then what are _you_ doing here?”

That stopped her. She opened her mouth briefly before shutting it again, lips pursed tightly. Unfolding her arms, she brings her hands to her back once again.

“What’s in your hand?” Sehun asked.

She hesitated to answer. And when she finally did, she lied. “Nothing.”

Sehun could not believe that she was making him do this. He reached for her arm and tugged at it. She winced and hissed at him, but she did not put up much of a fight when he wrenched the paper out of her hand. It was almost as though she did not really care if he found out what it was.

Uncrumpling it, he caught a whiff of sage and peppermint perfume. It was a letter. A perfumed letter. Marie had a beautiful handwriting, unlike Sehun, who basically scrawled like a chicken. He could pick her handwriting out in a crowd. She had used a quill to pen the letter.

“Sehun,” she said in a pained voice, but she did nothing to take the letter back.

As Sehun started perusing the content of the letter, his heart dropped to his stomach.

_Dear Kai…_

He tried to keep the tears from brimming his eyes. He was not sure if they were tears of anger or misery. His fingers gripped the edges of the parchment to the point where he almost tore it to pieces. His entire body was shaking, convulsing with rage.

It was a love letter. Addressed to Kai.

And in it, Marie had written how she would like to meet up with him secretly in the courtyard at midnight when he was back.

_I noticed the way you look at me, Kai. I can never seem to stop thinking about it. About you._

Oh, Sehun had noticed the way Kai looked at her too, all right. Up until now, he had thought that it was to only spite him. Kai only ever did anything to spite him and get a rise out of him. But perhaps he had underestimated the bastard. By a lot.

Crushing the paper in his own hand, he looked up at Marie, who looked back at him with nothing but guilt. Just guilt. No remorse, though. It did not look like she wanted to justify herself or apologize.

“What is this?” Sehun demanded anyway because he did not know what else to do. “Do you like him?”

Another stupid question since she had clearly stated in her letter that she could not stop thinking about him.

Marie did not answer. For a moment, she just stared at the floor between them.

“Answer me, Marie!” Sehun growled then.

When she looked up at him, she was scowling again, as though she was the one who was supposed to be angry over here. “Why does it matter to you?!”

What sort of a dumb question was that! “I’m your lover,” he said, almost pathetically. Like he was confused about it himself.

“I never said that I loved you, Sehun,” she said, sounding a little bit more sympathetic now. “I mean, maybe I do. But… I don’t know. I don’t know what love is.”

“But I love you,” Sehun blurted out. He did not really know what love was either, but he was desperate. He grabbed Marie’s hand and stepped closer. “God, Marie, I love you. How could you… do this?”

Marie pulled her hand away. “I haven’t done anything, Sehun.”

Sehun felt his blood pulsing in his temples as his fingers grew cold. “Did he do anything to you? _With_ you? Have you been seeing him behind my back?!”

Marie pinned him with an appalling look. “No! I don’t know what I feel for him. Which is why I want to find out.”

Sehun could not believe that this was happening. “Find _what_ out? If he loves you, too?”

Marie bowed her head.

Sehun wanted to cry. He wanted to find a corner and just sob his lungs out. Of course, she would choose Kai over him, even though he was a murderous, rat-eating vampire!

“How could you do this to me?” he said in a shaky breath.

“Sehun,” she muttered. “I am confused. I just… want to find out.”

“And if he does love you?! What then?!”

She did not answer, but her silence was answer enough. Sehun turned around and stomped away with the letter in his hand. He could not talk to her anymore without bursting into tears.

As he walked away with his heart in his mouth, he promised himself that he would kill Kai the instant the bastard was back. If he killed him, then Marie would not have to wonder whether or not Kai loved her. Sehun wanted to kill him. Mercilessly.

It was not fair. Why must Kai get everything? He got the castle, he got immortality, he got the looks, the clothes, the books, the fangs, the swords, and now, he was going to get Sehun’s girl, too. Effortlessly.

Sehun should have known. Kai had had his eye on Marie since they were fifteen. Sehun had not been able to decide whether Kai wanted to drain her or woo her. Guess he had his answer now. Nothing was ever fair to Sehun.

And he was starting to believe that nothing ever would. This was his life. He was going to die in Caerdorne, alone and miserable. Or perhaps the vampires would beat him to it and kill him first. Not if he could help it.

He was more determined than ever to kill Kai now.

* * *

# C H A P T E R T H R E E

He quietly watched the bubbles in the deep red liquid swim around in his glass, chasing after one another. Over the years, he had lost his taste for the cordial, but he still picked up a glass every time he saw one just to be around the sweet scent of blood lime for a while. And every time he did that, he realized that he was homesick.

They were leaving for Caerdorne today, and though part of him was happy to be away from the cacophony and ballyhoo of Winter Solstice, he knew that he would miss the fresh air of Rogaena. He had come to miss his cousins less in the past few years. They had all grown up, and they all had their own lives now. No one was all too keen on playing or hunting together anymore.

Slowly, one by one took off from the mansion of Rogaena, home of the Blackthornes, Saltlakes, and Skycrests, in their carriages. Kai had gotten tired of the goodbyes at some point, so he slipped away to the balcony, where he stood for nearly an hour, staring at the glass of blood lime cordial.

Before him, a vast canvas of snowy mountains stood regally, frozen woods strewn between them. The evening made way for a beautiful sky streaked with purple and blue. He would never want to leave Rogaena if he could. But his mother hated this place. She was never welcome here, his father told him once. She was human, and like most humans who married a Blackthorne, Saltlake or Skycrest vampire, she was an outcast here. Kai’s grandparents had never accepted her.

_“This place holds too many bitter memories,”_ his father had told him, looking woeful. But he still made it a point to come here every year to keep traditions alive.

Vampires were all about traditions, the human books were right about that.

“Kai,” a voice called from inside.

Kai already knew who it was before he even heard the voice. Sighing, he straightened up, squared his shoulders and turned around to face his cousin, who smiled him gently.

“Did not feel like bidding cousin Raven farewell?” asked Baekhyun.

Kai poured the drink into a pot of winter roses on the balcony before he wended his way back inside. Setting the glass aside, he stood in front of the mirror and checked his reflection. Humans also had this notion that vampires had no reflection. They did. And Kai did not really care much for his own. He was always dressed in black and red, mostly black. His hair was always in place, too. He knew that that drove Sehun crazy because the idiot always gawked at it like it had specks of diamonds hanging from its strands. To come to think of it, Sehun gawked at a lot of things like a fool.

“Your carriage is here,” Baekhyun informed him. “And your father is waiting for you downstairs.”

Kai sighed and started for the door. Baekhyun followed him out and caught his arm before Kai could walk away from him again.

“Is everything okay?” he asked. “You haven’t been yourself at all lately.”

Kai had not been himself for years. But that was called growing up. “I’m okay,” he said, pulling his arm free. Then he flashed his cousin a small smile and slid his hands into his pockets.

Baekhyun frowned. “Is this about… what happened at dinner last night?”

The dinner… Hell, Kai wished that he had not come to Rogaena at all when he thought about last night.

“You must know that your grandparents are only looking out for you,” said Baekhyun. “Besides, it is not the worst thing to start looking for a partner.”

Kai would beg to differ, but he figured that the best thing he could do for himself in those situations was keep silent. He did not want to alienate three families of tediously turgid vampires by expressing his opinions. He was not even sure if he had any, but he did not agree with the ones the others were trying to shove down his throat.

“It has nothing to do with your… mother,” Baekhyun then added in a lower voice. He was lying, that was why.

“Don’t worry, Baekhyun,” he said, raising a hand to his cousin’s shoulder. “I am not going to run off with a human girl like my father did and disgrace this family any more than I already have.”

“I’m being serious,” he said, eyebrows dipping low. “I don’t want you to be cut off from your family.”

Kai rolled his eyes out of habit. He rolled his eyes a lot at Sehun and at everything the boy did and said. He could not believe that he had gone four weeks without rolling his eyes at the mortal idiot. And his petite little girlfriend. And there was still a week left on the road before he would be home in Caerdorne. Not that he was looking forward to it or anything.

“It’s a silly thing they are making such a big fuss over,” Kai scoffed.

“It isn’t silly. You are the Blood Prince. They just don’t want your heirs to only have only a small drop of vampirism in their veins.”

Kai tried not to groan at his cousin. He did not know why they all still believed in the Blood Prince prophecy that was augured by some drunk vampiric witch centuries ago. It went something like this.

_The fourth male heir in the Blackthorne line will bring carnage and devastation. The Blackthorne bloodline will flourish once again with the Blood Prince._

And yes, Kai was the fourth male heir in the Blackthorne line and the only time he ever thought about devastating someone was when Sehun called him a ‘leech’ right to his face when they were fifteen years old. Actually, he had thought of killing Sehun many times before that and after.

Anyway, it was a stupid prophecy. Why did they even believe in prophecies, anyway? They sounded almost as gullible as the humans who still believed in mermaids and sirens.

No one really knew what bringing carnage and devastation really entailed. But everyone seemed to believe that the latter part of the prophecy meant babies. Lots and lots of vampire babies for the Blackthorne bloodline to thrive.

It was all that everyone wanted now. Kai’s grandparents thought that they were dying out, or at least growing smaller in number with all the vampire hunters that had sprouted out of nowhere in the last few years. Some left for good to be with their human partners. Some just disappeared.

As they made their way downstairs, Kai congratulated Baekhyun on his engagement. In the midst of the Winter Solstice festivities, he had forgotten to wish the couple happiness.

“We’re going to make a hundred babies as soon as we’re married,” said Baekhyun, grinning wide. He had no inhibitions sometimes. Kai both liked and hated that about him. And his long-time boyfriend turned fiancé was no different. In the last three weeks, Kai had seen them snog in every corner of the mansion and not be sorry about it. He supposed he was sorry for himself. Sorry that nearly all of his cousins around his age had found their partners or at least the prospects for a partner. Not because he wanted a partner, too. But because he now had his grandparents and everyone else breathing down his neck, pressuring him to find a fertile vampire partner before he could fall for a human like some of them did. The Blackthornes especially did not want to _dilute_ their bloodline any further.

And since his father was the last full-blooded Blackthorne, Kai needed to find another full-blooded vampire partner to sire children with thicker vampirism in their blood.

Honestly, Kai wished that his father would just take another full-blooded bride and sire other full-blooded children and leave him be.

He would actually be happy for his father if that happened. He never knew his mother. He had never even met her. Everything that he knew about her was told by someone else. He did not think that his father should hold himself back from finding love again for the memories of someone he once loved. But then when he put himself in his father’s shoes, he did not know if he would do the same thing. If he would be able to move on from someone he loved.

“Why wait until you’re married?” Kai asked, smirking at his cousin. “Might as well get on with it now.”

Baekhyun groaned. “Chanyeol is very old-fashioned. He would not even have sex with me until we are married.”

“I would have had a completely different idea since you guys can’t keep your tongues out of each other’s mouths.”

That made Baekhyun blush. He must have had some blood in the last hour.

Vampires did not get married in a chapel with God as their witness. They also did not have blood and mating rituals like the humans thought they did. It was just a ceremony, a grand one, with family and friends, followed by a bloody banquet. Although it could be quite the spectacle when you’re a Blackthorne, Saltlake or Skycrest. And Baekhyun was a full-blooded Skycrest vampire. Which meant, he was going to have one of the grandest of weddings. Kai already dreaded the day.

One by one, all of his cousins would be getting married and he would have to be there to every one of them. Shit.

Being immortal did not save him from familial obligations, unfortunately.

His father was waiting for him downstairs, scratching his bearded chin, listening to Chanyeol speak.

Chanyeol was not one of the three families. He came from the north, but he was welcome here because he was a pedigree vampire like Baekhyun. They had met each other by chance one day on the road, they told everyone. Chanyeol was a scholar at a human college, which surprised a lot of them. Kai thought it was a little on the nose. He would not want to feed the humans knowledge and then feed _on_ them.

But where Chanyeol was from, they did not believe in vampires. So, it was easier to thrive there. Perhaps that was where Kai should go once he got bored with Caerdorne. Could you believe, he was _not_ bored with Caerdorne at the moment? Well, it gave him freedom like nowhere else. No other vampire lived there. It was all his territory. And he loved the woods and mountains that surrounded the city. It was where he went whenever he needed to hunt, breathe, wank, or just sleep. No one bothered him there. No one really bothered him at the castle either, but sometimes, the silence of the castle could be so loud that he could not hear himself think.

“Of course, I would love to go to Caerdorne with you,” he heard Chanyeol say when he approached them. “I have heard so much about the wolf plague down there many years ago.”

“You are going with us?” Kai asked confusedly, glancing to Baekhyun to see if he knew anything about it.

“No,” said his father. “Something has come up with your grandparents.”

Kai cocked an eyebrow. “What?”

“I must stay back for a couple of weeks. But you should go home today.”

Kai wondered if his father were joking, and then he realized that the man never joked. “I am going back to Caerdorne without you?”

“Correct.” The man heaved a sigh, as though he were tired. He was never tired. Not physically at least. Not when he had been feeding well. “Do not worry.”

“Why are you staying back?” Kai asked, anyway. “Is it because of me?”

Because his grandparents wanted to try and brainwash his father, so that he would give in to their duress and pressure Kai to get married right away as well? His father had been uncharacteristically quiet at the dinner where everyone tore into Kai, listing down a thousand reasons why he should take a vampire wife or husband. No one really cared about his sexual orientation. Sure, the women were more fertile, but a male vampire could carry a child all the same.

Maybe his father thought that Kai was put in this position because he had married a human. Maybe he felt like everyone was right and Kai should take a vampire partner.

Kai did not mind taking a vampire partner, but he needed everyone to stop pressuring him to do it right this instant. How was he going to pull one out of nowhere? He did not know any vampires apart from those who were related to him. Not that that mattered to anyone, anyway. A lot of vampires inbred to keep their bloodlines clean. Their children were not always the strongest of vampires, though. Some of them turned out kookier than their parents could have been anticipated.

But he did not think any one of his cousins wanted him particularly. Besides, they were all taken. Kai had never even entertained the idea of him inbreeding.

“I just have some things I need to do here,” his father said coolly. “You should return to Caerdorne. I will be there in as soon as I can.”

Kai hated that the man made it sound like he could not go to sleep without his father reading him bedtime stories. He did not really care if his father was there or not. Most of the time, he never was, anyway.

He did not ask anymore questions, knowing that he would not get any answers.

“Congratulations on your betrothal, Chanyeol,” he told the man, clapping a hand to Chanyeol’s arm.

“Thanks, Kai,” said Chanyeol with a sincere smile. All of his smiles were sincere. “And I know it was quite a fuss at the dinner, but I hope you don’t feel too bad about it.”

Kai rolled his eyes once again. He just could not help it. “I’m good, man. You and Baekhyun just focus on setting sail for paradise. Leave my worries to me.”

Chanyeol laughed. “Right.”

As Kai’s father pulled him aside, Chanyeol collected Baekhyun in his arms and started kissing him on the lips. Kai looked away at once.

“Why are you not coming with me?” Kai asked his father as they made their way out of the mansion. “And tell me the truth.”

His father let out a heavy breath. “Your grandparents asked me to stay.”

Kai shut his eyes momentarily, shaking his head. “They are just going to tell you the same thing they told me last night. Dad, I will get married when I want to get married.”

“It isn’t that, Kai,” his father said, looking a little more conflicted than usual. He ran a hand through his greying hair. “I will talk to you when I’m home.”

He really hoped that this was not about the Blood Prince prophecy again. Over the years, some of them had stopped believing that Kai could be the Blood Prince. Why would _he_ of all people be the Blood Prince, for crying out loud? But most of them still believed that he would massacre an entire village and bring carnage to feed his children.

Kai huffed heavily. He did not feel like talking more about this, so he climbed into the carriage and closed the door. He saw his father frown at him through the window before he drew the curtain close.

* * *

By the time the carriage arrived at the Castle of Caerdorne, Kai was ravenous. It had been a week since he had had any blood. And the stale bread and jam he had had during his ride here did not help sate his hunger. He was growing more vampire by the day that he would go completely bonkers if he went without blood for days now.

As soon as he stepped out of the carriage, he did not wait for the carriage driver to bring his trunks up to his room. He started for the basement. He was hungry like a rabid wolf and human food was not going to take the edge off. He needed blood.

The basement was rat-infested, thankfully. Fishing the key out of his pocket, he hurried down the stairs. They never had to lock the basement before Sehun, the bloody nosy parker, started snooping around here, following Kai everywhere he went, sniffing after him like a goddamn bloodhound. It was quite infuriating at times. But most of the time, Kai enjoyed watching the boy make a fool out of himself.

He grabbed a few rats and banged their heads against the wall before he found his usual corner to sit down in and suck their blood out. Even after six rats, he was still hungry, so he caught a few more.

Some years ago, Sehun had found his way down here. That good-for-nothing twat.

And then when Kai had caught him red-handed, he had the nerve to say, _“I know what the hell you are.”_

Kai had gone straight for his throat. He could have ripped the boy’s head off his body without a second thought. He could have sunk his fangs into the long, pale neck and drained him dead. He could have spat on Sehun’s face and told him what a piece of shit he was. He could have kissed the living daylights out of Sehun. The only thing that had stopped him from doing any of that in that moment was the fact that he had no fucking clue what he wanted to do to the boy.

Then he saw the cross around Sehun’s neck, nestled safely against his chest. Even looking at it had made Kai’s head spin. His fingers, that were wrapped around the boy’s warm, soft skin, felt the numbing pulse from the cross. He drew back and walked away as calmly as he could, but his head was pounding painfully. And he rarely felt any pain.

If it had not been for the cross, he could not imagine what he would have done to the idiot that night.

He might have kissed him. That might have happened. Because he was head over heels in love with him.

Or he might have killed him. That was a plausible course of action, too. Because he hated Sehun almost as much as he loved him.

This had been going on since he was fifteen. The only reason why he had not done anything to Sehun was because he did not know what he wanted to do.

Kiss him or bite him?

Kiss him, then bite him?

Sometimes, he tried to wank the confusion away, fantasizing about what Sehun’s lips and blood tasted like. He wanted to taste them both, so fucking badly. He supposed the ideal solution here would be to suck the blood out of Sehun’s lips. Sick. He was sick. Very sick.

He had never wanted to bite (or kiss) anyone like this before. Not this hungrily. Not this lustfully.

The worst (and strangely also the best) part of it all was that Sehun was completely oblivious to Kai’s constant battle between wanting to kiss him and wanting to bite him. No, he was far too busy with trying to find proof to expose Kai as a vampire when everyone already knew (and did not give any damn about) it. Stupid. Even his moony-eyed girlfriend knew. She was just turning a blind eye to it all, like everyone did. Everyone but Sehun.

Kai had almost stopped bullying him when he realized that he wanted to do other things to the boy more. But then Sehun came back from the chapel one day with a new cross around his neck and called him a ‘leech’ when Kai bested him at swordplay again. It broke Kai’s heart. Mostly because he realized that humans would never want to snog a vampire. And Sehun religiously believed that Kai was a vampire, more than Kai himself.

He caught another rat and slammed its head against the floor before drinking its blood. He was full enough but not entirely full. He might have to head over to the woods to hunt a grizzly or something. He’d wait for morning to do that.

Right now, he could use some sleep.

He had not drunk human blood in years. Ever since he had wanted to taste Sehun’s blood. His father still brought a human home every two months. Sometimes, he went without human blood for months, too. Kai completely lived on animal blood now.

Part of him wondered if he were doing it to get in Sehun’s good books (and his pants), but he supposed that ship had long sailed. Sehun was never going to want a vampire to be his friend, let alone let one snog him.

Kai was not even sure if he wanted to be Sehun’s friend. He was a vampire, a Blackthorne, and royalty. And to top it all off, he was the prophesized Blood Prince. Sehun was a wimpy, skinny little busybody, who was not even that special.

Except that Kai did not mean it. Sehun was special to him. In every way possible. Which was what made this whole thing so complicated. It would be a lot easier if he just wanted to _bite_ the boy. And not kiss him at the same time.

Kai did not specifically remember when the madness began. It was sometime when they were fifteen, when Sehun started to grow as tall as he was, when his limbs no longer looked like the lifeless branches hanging off a dying tree. The more he trained with Kai, the more defined the lean muscles in his arms and legs became. His shoulders also started to get broad, and his hair was no longer a cuckoo bird’s nest. And don’t even get Kai started on how plump those rosy lips were getting by the day.

He was a lousy swordfighter who liked to think that he was better than he actually was (because Kai let him think he was better than he actually was) but watching him throw his sword was like watching art come to life for Kai. A gritty, messy, clumsy art. Sometimes, he was put in a trance so deep that he almost let Sehun win. Even if that meant driving a sword through his chest. It would hurt like hell, but it would not kill him. At least he did not think so. He had never tried it. No one had ever put a sword through his chest before, not for the lack of trying.

Sehun was constantly went for the kill shot. He did not bother himself with things like honour or manners. His only goal was to put Kai down, once and for all. One of these days, Kai was going to let him. He would let Sehun put him out of his misery. Or he should kill Sehun and see if _that_ would put him out of his misery.

He tossed the dead rat away and wiped his hands on his trousers. He sulked too much. And he had an eternity to sulk. He had been sulking ever since he became a teenager and found out that he liked the idea of Sehun’s bloody (literally blood-y) mouth wrapped around his cock. Hell, the number of times he had jerked off in the woods, picturing that exact image. He did not like wanking off at the castle because he was sure that his father could hear him. And he certainly did not want Lada walking in on him. The woman never knew how to knock.

Once he was done thinking about Sehun, he started thinking about his father. The man went away a lot, but he always came back to Caerdorne with Kai after Winter Solstice. He had seemed troubled. Kai hoped that his grandparents were not giving his father more hell than they had been giving him for years ever since he had eloped with a human girl.

Maybe Kai should just find a full vampire and settle down. They could even settle down in Caerdorne. It was not the prettiest city, but they would be safe from those vampire hunters and the rest of the world. It would definitely get everyone off his back. He would make a lot of babies with his vampire partner and have them feed on an entire village of people. That would make everyone happy.

He was not sure why even the idea of being with someone he did not love made his stomach clench to the point where he wanted to regurgitate all the blood he had just consumed.

Would he be happy if he could be with Sehun? Well, Sehun would still be an infuriating little know-it-all, but yes, Kai would be happy. Hell, he’d be happy if Sehun would even smile in his way once. He did, a long time ago. Back then, Kai did not care about a scrawny human kid. He supposed it was not a fair request since he never smiled at Sehun. He smirked and scoffed at Sehun, and he only smiled when Sehun was not looking.

Stupid. How could he ever be with Sehun when all that the boy wanted to do with him was kill him for being a vampire?

Kai pushed himself up from the ground and dusted the dirt and dust from his trousers. He then wended his way out of the basement, so that he could get to his room, slide into a clean bath, and climb into bed. He was tired from the ride, mostly because he had not had any blood. And the rats were not enough. He should sleep to recuperate. The human part of him still craved sleep and boysenberry pies.

He did not feel like locking the basement tonight. He had been gone for weeks. Sehun must have snooped around the castle to his heart’s content. The boy thought that no one knew, but Kai knew. And his father knew, too. Kai did not do anything about it because, quite honestly, he did not care. And his father was still pinning his hopes on Sehun and Kai becoming best pals one day. The man did not know anything about Sehun’s motives to expose and kill Kai, and Kai’s motives to undress and kiss Sehun.

He wondered what his father would think if he knew about his son’s fantasy to kiss a human boy. Not any human boy. One human boy.

As he walked away from the basement, a scent stopped him dead in his tracks. It was a scent he could pick out in any crowd. It was the scent that had him suffocating all day and night, and it was the scent he wanked off to. Bloody hell.

He turned around to find Sehun standing frozen in the corridor. His bulged eyes were fixated on Kai, his lanky arms hanging at his sides, hands awkwardly clutching at the hem of his nightshirt, like he did not know where else to put them. He was wearing socks as usual. It was a mystery Kai had wanted solved for the longest time. Why did Sehun go everywhere around the castle in just socks? He owned shoes. Kai had seen him wear them whenever he had somewhere to go. But within the castle’s compound, he only walked around in socks.

It was beyond Kai how Sehun turned out to be so beautiful. Describing him as beautiful sounded weird, but it was the truth. Sehun was _beautiful_. As beautiful as a human boy could get. He had pearlescent skin that glimmered under the moonlight. His dark eyes did things to Kai that he could not even describe. And don’t even get him started on Sehun’s mouth. Small, red and always hanging open in shock or surprise.

Like it was right now. He was gawking stupidly at Kai like he had never seen him before. He always looked this confused, for some odd reason, like he did not know what to do when Kai showed up out of nowhere. Sometimes, Kai just wanted to walk over to him, take him by the shoulders, and tell him to just stop overthinking everything so much.

“Y-You…” he then croaked out in that sweet voice of his that drove Kai over to the edge of his sanity. “You’re back.”

Normally, Kai would have said something witty just to vex the boy, but tonight, he was just too tired. So, he slid his hands into his pockets and waited for Sehun to get his next shot out.

It really was par for course when Sehun said, “I know what you are.”

Kai nearly laughed. But then he realized that he did not want to laugh. He wanted to drive Sehun as crazy as the boy was driving him.

So, in a very cool voice, he said, “And what is that?”

Sehun seemed to be taken aback by that. Good, that meant Kai had gotten under his skin.

His hands tightened around his nightshirt and he swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing so obviously. Kai wanted to bite him right there. Also, kiss him.

Ugh, the battle.

“You… You are…” Sehun struggled to get the words out. Clearly, Kai had caught him off guard. Then sucking in a sharp breath, the boy squared his shoulders and spat, “Vampire! You’re a vampire.”

Kai smirked. When he shrugged, he saw Sehun’s eyebrows furrow into a disappointed frown. “Sure. I am a vampire. What are you going to do about that, pansy?”

Sehun’s shoulders fell again, his jaw slack, his face paling with even more disappointment. This must all be very anticlimactic for him. This was not what he had expected. Kai had just thrown a curveball at him. He looked like he was regretting coming here and catching Kai.

“Hope you get a good night’s sleep tonight.” With that, Kai turned his back to Sehun and started walking away. His heart was hammering against his chest. Not because he feared what Sehun might do with his confession, but what rift it was going to cause between them from now on.

Even when he reached his bedroom, his chest did not unclench. Why must Sehun keep making it all very complicated? Why could he not just fucking step down for once and not make Kai seem like the ultimate villain in his life? Maybe Kai was, but he was trying very hard not to be.

Slumping against the bedroom door after shutting it close, he thought of what could happen after this. Sehun might distance himself. Or he might try harder to kill Kai since he now had the confirmation he needed. Either way, Kai was not going to win his heart. So, it did not really matter. He would die a virgin vampire.

Dragging himself over to his bed, he collapsed onto it. Maybe he would just take a bath tomorrow, he thought before his eyes flitted to the folded paper on his bedside table. That was where the smell of peppermint was coming from.

He sat up and grabbed the paper. It was addressed to him, and it was not Lada’s handwriting. Or his father’s. He did not recognize it. For a moment, his heart skipped a beat wondering if it was Sehun’s.

But why on bloody earth would Sehun ever have a reason to call him _‘Dear Kai’_…

And someone as uncoordinated and restless as Sehun would not have a handwriting so pretty. So, he kept reading.

_I would like to see you when you have returned. There is something that we must talk about, I believe. I have seen the longing in your gaze, and I have longed for you for just as long. Please, meet me at the courtyard once you are back. I will wait for you there every midnight._

There was no signoff. But Kai knew immediately who had written this letter.

Marie. Justus’ daughter. Sehun’s pretty, ladylike girlfriend.

“Trouble in paradise, huh,” Kai muttered to himself. Was that why Sehun had rushed to see him earlier that he did not even bother to put on some pants, in spite of it still being brutally cold outside?

Did Sehun know that his lover wanted to run off with Kai? He had to. That was why he was there, standing in the corridor like an awkward, angry child (in socks) that did not know how to express his frustration. So, he had blurted out the first thing that had popped into his mind.

If Kai had known this, he would have played with Sehun for a little while longer. He would have tortured him, made him cry again.

He crumpled the paper and tossed it to a corner of the room.

Truth was, he had never fancied Marie. It was quite the opposite actually. He was madly jealous of her. The few times he had seen Sehun kiss her near the fence, his heart nearly fell out of his chest. He did not hate Marie enough to kill her. He had never killed anyone in his life. But he would kill a hundred people for Sehun. Just not Marie. He might have if she had truly loved Sehun. But he knew that she did not.

Every time he would wink at her or smile at her, she would blush and smile back. Kai had always known that she had her heart set on him and not Sehun. He just wanted Sehun to realize that.

Had they broken up, then? Did Sehun cry about it? He could have. Over the years, he had stopped crying every time Kai bullied him. Instead, he would challenge Kai back. Stupid, especially since he believed that Kai was a vampire. That never stopped him from picking himself back up and confronting Kai with puffed-out chest and foolish confidence.

But he might have cried about this.

That sent a pang to Kai’s heart. And he hated that feeling.

He had tried to break Sehun’s spirit many times. And sometimes his bones when they were younger. But he knew he would never break Sehun’s _heart_ if he were entrusted with it. Not that it would ever happen, but a boy could dream.

Flipping hell. Why did he have to fall in love with _Sehun_ of all people…

* * *

# C H A P T E R F O U R

He had not been having a good day. No one ever could have a good day in Caerdorne. Everyone was always so paranoid about one thing or the other. Sehun did not think of himself as paranoid because he already knew that the Blackthornes were vampires, and he did not fear them. Or maybe he had just gotten immune to them. They never tried to scare anyone really, though. He was sure that he would be scared if they did try. Vampires were vampires, you know. Deadly. Impulsive.

Kai never tried to be scary per se. He had always been a jackass, who lorded over everyone and a heartless tyrant that called Sehun by everything (insulting, always insulting) but his actual name.

But he was not necessarily _scary._ Sehun would never run away from him screaming, no matter how aggressive he might get during swordplay practice. Though the bastard never lost his cool. And he could not be all that scary if _Marie_ found him fascinating.

God, he still could not believe that that was happening.

Anyway, he had not been having a good day. To be fair, he had not had a good day for nearly two weeks since he found out that the love of his life had fallen for his sworn nemesis. His destined enemy. His bully. A goddamn vampire. A cat had run away from him earlier today at midday when he _‘pspspspspsp-ed’_ at it. It would have been really nice to be comforted by some mangy street cat, but not even the filthy stray wanted him.

When he got back to the castle after getting Justus the stuff he wanted, he bumped into Marie, who was helping her dad out with cleaning the kitchen windows.

It was hard to avoid Marie altogether because she was his neighbour, and her father was constantly asking for him to do something for him. They were not broken up, Sehun did not think so. He did know what they were right now. But not broken up.

But he figured he would let Marie find the peace of mind she sought. Maybe Kai would turn her down. He better. Otherwise, Sehun would have to be the reason for widowing Marie.

Kai was royalty. He had royal blood in him, somehow. Sehun had not sorted out how that happened or which nobility he was related to. The chances of him taking the daughter of a servant for a wife was very slim, being royalty (and a vampire) and all. Although he never heard anything about Kai’s mother. Was she royalty, too?

God, even the thought of them getting married and Marie carrying vampire babies spooked Sehun so much that he shuddered at it.

He was not going to let that happen. Not if he could help it. Even if he and Marie never got back together, he was not going to let her end up with a vampire and bear his demon babies for him.

Would he be okay with it if Kai were just an average boy? Absolutely not. That was even worse because then, Sehun would really have nothing to compete against him with. He could be human, and he’d still be a million times better than Sehun.

He spent the rest of the day moping on his pallet. His grandaunt had noticed his being under the weather, but she did not bother to find out why.

Even late in the night, he tossed and turned sleeplessly, hating himself for losing his sleep over this. He wondered if Marie was up, too. He hoped she was. Otherwise, it would just be cruel.

Just like how cruel it was earlier today when she did not even spare him a glance when he walked past her.

He jolted upright on his pallet when he heard the soft clatter of hooves outside. It was the carriage. _The _carriage. It came and went in the dark whenever the Blackthornes needed it to. In all these years, no one had ever actually managed to see it. Sehun had managed to catch small glimpses of it in the fog or the shadows. Only because he tried so hard.

He looked over to Alicja, who was fast asleep on her pallet, snoring like a bear with clogged nose. He did not stop to pull on some pants as he hurried out of the house, clad in nothing but his nightshirt and socks. Only his feet ever got cold, anyway.

The carriage was gone. Just like that. He had missed it again. He sighed.

They were back. _Kai_ was back. For a moment, Sehun took in a few deep breaths, thinking of what he wanted to do next. Go after Kai and demand an explanation out of him. Kai would smirk. Then punch him in the face and warn him to stay away from Marie. He would smirk again. If that did not work, Sehun would kill the bastard tomorrow at practice. No one could charge him for murder for killing an opponent in a duel. That victory was won fair and square.

Well, he was going to kill Kai whether or not he stayed away from Marie.

He did not have to wander around the corridors for long before he realized where Kai was. The basement, eating rats.

He waited for Kai to come out of the basement to confront him because, quite honestly, Sehun was not the biggest of rats (dead or alive) and he did not want to be caught with Kai in a closed (rat-infested) space again.

So, he lingered in the corridor outside the basement, hugging his arms around his body, wishing that he had worn some pants. Kai took forever to come out of the basement.

But when he finally did, Sehun’s brain failed him.

Every time he saw Kai, he swore the bastard looked more and more… ethereal. Did all vampires look this way? This… perfect all the damn time? Sehun only knew two vampires, and he never really saw Kai’s father up close since their first meeting years ago.

Even an idiot could tell that Kai was no ordinary human. His bronze skin always had this glow about it. Vampires were not all pale, Sehun figured that out some time ago. They only got super pale when they were starved and exhausted.

Kai’s hair never moved. Sehun was deeply annoyed by that. He did not have such perfect hair. His grandaunt gave him haircuts, and her hands shook like a raging alcoholic looking at a bottle of mead.

There was more red than black in Kai’s outfit this time. And it had Sehun gawking at the boy. Red suited Kai better than black. Or perhaps Sehun was bored of seeing Kai in black for years on end.

Kai knew he was there, in the corridor. Because he was a bloody vampire. Sehun knew he could smell anything from several feet away. The only thing he had not figured out was if vampires could read minds. He doubted it, though. That might be one of the exaggerations the parsons believed in.

Kai turned around, looking more bored than anything. Like he had expected Sehun to be there.

“You’re back,” Sehun let out, stammering. He hated that he stammered in front of Kai. He expected Kai to flash his cocky grin, but the boy only sighed and plunged his hands into the pockets of his pants. He looked like he was waiting for Sehun to say something else.

This was his chance. He should confront the jerk about Marie. He knew what he was furious about, and why he had wanted to punch Kai’s teeth in for the last couple of weeks.

So, he did not know why he said, “I know what you are.”

That statement entailed a lot of meanings.

_I know you are a vampire. I know you are a bloody sod who stole my girl. I know you are a murderer. I know you are a piece of shit._

He might have said it to see if it would make Kai lose his cool again.

But all that Kai did was look at him amusedly and say, “And what is that?”

When he finally walked away, after confessing that he was a vampire, Sehun did not move from the spot he was standing in, even though his knees wanted him to sit down.

That was… vapid.

It was not at all what he had expected. It was not how he had wanted Kai to admit that he was a vampire. He wanted Kai to admit it, nevertheless. But now that he had, it all seemed so disappointing. Like a damp squib. Insipid and flat.

When he could move again, he dragged himself back to the outbuilding and reclined on his pallet lifelessly.

_What now_, he thought. Was he wrong to have believed all these years that having Kai expose himself and admit that he was a vampire would bring him satisfaction?

The affirmation felt dull. And frankly, unnecessary.

What now…

* * *

Kai did not show up at practice the next day. It felt like a relief to Sehun. Sure, he had plans, but his plans could wait. He did not know how to face Kai after what had happened last night. He knew that he was supposed to treat Kai differently now that he had the confirmation he had needed about Kai being a vampire. But he had no idea how to do that. How could he hate Kai any more than he already did?

He had thought about it all day. Kai telling him that he was a vampire had felt like someone saying that the rain was wet. Like it was something so obvious.

Sehun looked up from the swords he was sharpening with a whetstone, seated at a bench in the courtyard, when he heard someone coming. It was Marie.

Part of him wanted to get up to his feet, run to her, and tell her that Kai was a vampire, and that he had fessed up himself. He was sure that Marie would not want to be with a vampire if she knew for sure that Kai was one.

But another part of him wanted to see how this would all play out. He wanted to know if Kai would actually have her. Maybe Sehun just needed more of a reason to kill Kai.

Looking at him, Marie frowned sadly. Then she glanced around the courtyard, obviously looking for Kai. When she did not find him, she started walking toward Sehun.

“Hey,” she said.

“Hey,” Sehun replied, setting the sword he was whetting aside.

Marie worried her lower lip for a moment. Sehun wondered if she were going to ask him to get back with her.

“I know you don’t want to talk about this,” she said nervously. “But do you know if Kai is back?”

Sehun rose to his feet, collecting the swords in his arms to put them back in their rack. “You’re right,” he muttered, already brushing past Marie. “I _don’t_ want to talk about this.”

It sounded harsh, but he was not going to roll around just because Marie told him to. He got the fire back, however. The fire to strangle Kai.

* * *

Kai did not show up at the courtyard the following day either. Or the day after. Sehun waited for him, nonetheless, because that was his job. He could not really say that he did not want to obey the masters of this house if he wanted to stay here. Besides, he did not want to seem like a freeloader. So, he continued to be Kai’s training partner.

Marie came, too. Just to see if Kai was there. Why couldn’t she just go up to his room and camp there until she saw him, Sehun thought to himself grouchily. It was not like she did not where his room was. She had already been there god knew how many times.

Kai did make an appearance eventually, full of beans (and blood), healthier than he had been the last time Sehun had seen him. The last time they had seen each other, Kai was telling Sehun that he was a vampire.

Now, as he coolly strutted into the courtyard, he looked more arrogant than ever. Sehun rose from the bench, gaping at Kai, who retrieved his usual double-edged longsword from the rack.

He was dressed in his fencing attire, which Sehun was dead jealous of. From boots to shirt, his laces were tight and neat. He really looked well-rested _and_ well-fed.

Sehun swallowed as he walked over to the rack to get his own weapon. Though he had traded the wooden sword for a longsword years ago, he still felt like a child who did not know how to hold any kind of sword whenever he saw Kai wield one with such grace and dexterity.

He kept his eyes to himself, not wanting to meet Kai’s.

“Good luck, pansy,” he heard Kai say before he walked away. Sehun stood still for a moment, wondering what the good luck was for. It was almost as though Kai was mocking him, but it also sounded like he was challenging Sehun to try and kill him at least this time.

Sehun did not have it in him today. He turned around and faced Kai, finally meeting his eyes with some exhaustion. Kai must have noticed the exhaustion immediately because his own gaze softened. That had never happened before.

They stood there for a long while, facing each other, swords limp in their undetermined grips. Neither of them looked like they wanted to fight each other today.

But they did, anyway. Kai took the first swing like he always did. Sehun blocked almost effortlessly. He noticed that Kai was not attacking with half of the force or strength he normally did, which to begin with was not even his full strength. Sehun knew that Kai had always held his real strength back when he sparred with Sehun, probably so that he would not expose himself.

He did not look tired, though. Just… bored. Of this. Of this whole play.

They sparred without rest. Their blades clashed and clanged. This was the first time Sehun had managed to not get knocked down even once. Probably because Kai was not trying to knock him down this time. It felt like a juvenile swordplay, as if they were doing it just for the sake of doing it. There were no end goals, no scores kept. Kai kind of looked distracted, and Sehun _definitely_ was.

When Kai decided that he had had enough, he called the duel off and walked away, tossing the sword to the ground for Sehun to pick up and put it back in its place. He looked annoyed. _Was_ he annoyed?

Sehun, on the other hand, sat down on the cold ground and caught his breath, wiping the cold sweat beads from his forehead on the back of his hand. Kai kept giving him plenty of openings for him to finally beat him, kill him. But Sehun had not taken any of the opportunities. He did not why, and he did not know why Kai was being lenient today.

Maybe because he wanted Sehun to go for the kill shot so that he could kill Sehun instead. But if he wanted to kill Sehun, he would not do it now, would he? He would do it when he was hungry.

Something was off with him today. Hell, something was off with _Sehun_ today, too. And did it all have something to do with Kai’s confession the other night? Or was Kai just brooding like he always did when he returned from wherever he and his father went for Winter Solstice?

Sehun feel drained all of a sudden. All these years he had wanted to be the one to kill Kai, to kill a vampire, but when the opportunity presented itself today, he let it slip between his fingers. Perhaps he was a coward after all. Perhaps he never actually had the stomach to murder someone, vampire or not.

* * *

He had to talk to someone about this, or he was worried that he was going to go mad. If he had not already…

Now that Marie and he were on weird terms, he did not know whom to turn to. He wished that he had had made more friends.

He was reluctant to go to the courtyard today. He was not sure if Kai would show up, but part of him wished that he would not. Even so, he went there, anyway. Because he had to. Whether Kai wanted to show up or not was none of his concern.

The sky had darkened early today. There was no moon or stars. Just a bed of grey clouds. If it were not for the lanterns in the corridors and courtyard, Sehun would have been walking blind.

He heard a faint voice when he neared the courtyard. He could not quite make out the words that were being said, but he recognized Marie’s voice immediately. She was at the courtyard. Damn it.

Sehun stayed close to the pillars, hiding behind one when he spotted Marie in the courtyard, standing there in her best gown, her honey-golden hair tied up in ribbons. And it was none other than Kai himself who was facing her. Sehun had never hated Kai as much as he did in that moment, watching him smirk down at Marie, like he was entertaining a lost puppy.

Which Marie was, he supposed.

Kai was listening to what she had to say, her head hung low, her cheeks probably flushed red. Sehun wished that he could hear what she was saying. But maybe it was for the best that he could not.

Kai, on the other hand, stood there coolly with his hands in his pockets, the smile on his lips widening by the second.

Sehun closed his hand around his cross and watched them anxiously. And then he saw Kai casually raise a hand to Marie’s. Taking it, he brushed a kiss on the back of Marie’s fingers.

Sehun wanted to stride over to them at once and demand what was going on. But then Marie started to walk away, grinning like an infatuated little girl.

He waited until she was out of sight and earshot to stomp into the courtyard. He did not stop until he was less than a foot away from Kai.

“What was that about?” he demanded through his gnashed teeth, hands balled into fists at his sides in case he needed to cuff Kai if he bloody smirked in response.

Kai shrugged instead. No smirk. “She said that she liked me.”

Sehun was fuming now. “She doesn’t know what you are!”

“So, that’s what you’re worried about?” Kai scoffed.

Sehun paused then and blinked at him. “What?”

Scoffing derisively again, Kai stepped to the swords rack. “You are not upset about her leaving you as much as you are upset about her liking a vampire.”

It sounded like Kai was ramping up to an insult. But Sehun could not tell. He was so confused.

And Kai just blatantly admitted that he was a vampire again.

“Of course… I’m upset about her leaving me,” Sehun then spat. “And no. She has not left me.”

Kai turned to him with an arched eyebrow. “Are you sure about that? Because she never mentioned you even once in either her love letter or her love confession a moment ago.”

Sehun huffed angrily. “She doesn’t know what she wants.”

“I think she does,” Kai said, unsheathing the sword. He stared the blade for a moment, as though he were checking for his reflection. And yes, vampires did have reflections, Sehun had checked. “I don’t think she is the one that does not know what she wants.”

“What does that mean?” Sehun growled at him.

Kai did not answer. He just pinned Sehun with an exhausted look.

Sehun marched over to the swords rack and grabbed a sword before he took his position. “Do _you_… like her?”

“Why does it matter to you?” Kai snorted.

“Of course, it matters!” Sehun snapped at him. “She is my girl. You are a sodding prick for making a move on someone else’s girl.”

“I did not make a move on her,” said Kai, shrugging again.

“Yes, you did.”

Then he rolled his eyes. Sehun hated it when he did that. It meant that Sehun was being an idiot who knew nothing. The ultimate insult.

“Tell you what,” Kai then said with an edge to his tone. “If you beat me this time, I will answer your question.”

“Which question?”

“How many questions do you have?”

Sehun thought about that for a moment. “Four. No, five.”

“Fine. I’ll answer all five of those questions.”

“Including if you like Marie or not?”

“Including that.”

Sehun nodded. That seemed fair. “What if I killed you before you could answer them?”

“Then make sure you don’t kill me,” huffed Kai with the subtext _‘you idiot’_.

“How will I know you will keep your word?”

“Do you need me to pinky-swear or something?” Kai rolled his eyes again.

Sehun licked his lips. “Fine. Let’s do this.”

Kai went easy on him the first few lunges. He simply stepped aside and dodged the blows instead of blocking them with his sword. Sehun realized that Kai was warming up, expanding his own space as he gracefully moved from one spot to another. He was coaxing Sehun step into his space and make the first move, drain his energy in the process.

Sehun’s energy would be drained no matter what. Kai was a vampire. He could hold out a lot longer than Sehun could. So, Sehun attacked with all sorts of aggression while he still had the energy. Each time, Kai dodged it without lifting his sword even once.

And when he finally decided it was his turn to attack, he struck without mercy, forcing Sehun to retreat a step with each blow. And then he just… stopped.

Sehun lunged at him, sword driving straight for the bastard’s chest. It would not kill him, but it would mean Sehun’s victory.

Kai did not move out of Sehun’s sword way. He stood his ground, shoulders and jaw squared, arms limp at his sides.

Sehun did not know why he halted abruptly with the tip of his blade a hair’s breadth away from Kai’s chest. Panting and sweating hard, he stared at Kai’s dark eyes that were boring into his own.

“Now,” Sehun rasped out, breathing laboriously. “answer my questions.”

Kai remained still, not a blink, not a flinch. He gave a curt nod of his head, giving Sehun the ‘go-ahead’.

“Are you a vampire?” was the first thing Sehun could think to ask.

“That was a waste of questions,” said Kai. “You already know that I am one.”

God, he was messing with Sehun’s head with all this sudden calmness. What sort of a vampire went around admitting that he was a vampire!

That brought Sehun to the second question. “Why are you admitting that now?”

“You never really asked me if I were one before, have you?” He cocked a smug brow.

Sehun supposed he had not. “C-Can you… read minds?”

“No,” Kai scoffed. It did not seem like he wanted to elaborate on that. “You are running out of questions, pansy.”

“Shut up,” Sehun spat at him then. Kai’s eyes widen in surprise. “You… drink blood.”

“Is that a question or a statement?”

“A question,” Sehun said shakily.

“I do,” Kai replied curtly.

Sehun could feel his heartbeat all over his body now. He tightened his hands around the grip of his sword, holding it steadily to Kai’s chest.

“What are your intentions with Marie?” Sehun asked finally. It would be the deciding question.

He expected Kai to roll his eyes, but Kai was looking fixedly at him with a painstaking lour. “Nothing,” he said.

Sehun did not believe it. “You are lying.”

Kai exhaled heavily. Not because he needed the breath, but to show Sehun that he was bored and impatient with this subject.

“She does not interest me in any way,” he then said. “She is far too dull for me. But I do like looking at her because she is pretty. Sometimes, I wonder what she would look like naked.”

This was enough. Kai had admitted to everything Sehun needed to know. He should kill him.

Sehun clenched his jaw. “You bastard. You think you are too good for her,” he blurted out, his voice trembling. He was not sure if he was angry or just frustrated by how composed and cool Kai was. Maybe he took a little pleasure in knowing that Marie would not be with Kai after all. “When all that you are is a hell-branded, bloodsucking leech! Even the sight of you appals me.”

Then he saw it. He saw all and every silver of Kai’s composure be stripped away from him. His face fell, his eyes turning darker than they were, his smirk dying altogether from his pale lips. The only other time Sehun had seen him so ashen and rattled was the last time he had called him a leech. It had to be a very offensive slur for vampires, Sehun figured.

The next thing he knew, Kai was grabbing hold of his blade with his bare hand and yanking it away from his chest before he lurched forward at Sehun.

For a moment, Sehun wondered if this was how he was going die. It would be pretty anticlimactic. Everything had always been anticlimactic in his life.

Kai’s hand flew up to seize the collar of Sehun’s shirt in a tight fist. Then with a vicious tug, he drew Sehun forward until their chests almost collided.

Sehun froze, paralyzed and truly horrified now. They were standing closer than they had when Kai had tried to kill him in the basement. He could smell the musky cologne that was mingled with sweat on Kai’s skin. He could smell sandalwood-scented soap. He could smell _Kai._ And it contaminated his senses like a deadly plague.

Their faces were inches apart when Kai snarled menacingly at him. Sehun looked for fangs. He did not see any. So, he ended up staring at Kai’s sneering lips instead. Kai was doing the same thing, glowering at Sehun’s mouth like he wanted to suck the blood out of it.

Sehun did not realize that he was not breathing until he started to suffocate, drowning in the scent of Kai’s skin.

“I would choose my next words very carefully if I were you,” Kai hissed at length, hand still gripping Sehun’s shirt. His breath smelled sweet, too. Like cherry wine. He briefly looked down at Sehun’s cross and fixed it with a filthy look, like he wanted to rip it off Sehun’s neck and lob it over the walls of the courtyard.

Then he looked up at Sehun’s eyes again. For a length, it was as though he were lost in them. Like he did not know how to find his way out of Sehun’s eyes.

Sehun wondered if Kai’s heart was beating as fast and hard as his own. Did his heart even beat? Well, he was breathing, so it had to, right?

A tiny part of Sehun wanted to see what would happen if he were not careful with his next words. What would Kai do to him if he called him a leech again? Would he finally show his fangs? Because Sehun wanted to see them. But the saner part of him told him that that was a bad idea.

“Do you… have fangs?” he let out breathlessly, lifting his gaze to meet Kai’s scowling eyes. “L-Like… a dog?”

Kai blinked at him before he shoved Sehun back, releasing his shirt. “Fucking unbelievable,” he muttered under his breath before he stormed off with the sword in his hand. “Like_ a dog!_”

Sehun cupped a hand on the back of his neck when he realized that it was burning. His entire body was burning. What the hell… was that…

He took hold of his cross and tried to think of a prayer, so that he could cleanse himself. Kai had stepped into his space and touched him. Well, not exactly he did not exactly touch him, but he was all over Sehun now. Vampire filth and all.

Except that it had not felt like filth. If anything, Sehun felt like he was filth compared to all the wonderful things Kai smelled like. God, what had the bastard done to him!

Sehun scrambled up to his feet and hurried to the outbuildings at the back.

Rapping at the door, he hoped that Marie would get the door and not one of her parents. Thankfully, she did.

“Sehun?” she said with a puzzled look.

Sehun grabbed her arm and pulled her outside so that they could speak in private. “He is toying with you, Marie,” he told her miserably. “He said that he has no interest in you.”

She exhaled heavily and sneered at him, folding her arms. She had never looked so exasperated with him before. “Sehun, will you give this a rest already?”

“Give what a rest? Us? It is still _us_, isn’t it? He does not love you, Marie. I do.”

“He kissed my hand.”

“I’ve kissed your hand.”

Marie closed her eyes for a moment. “You don’t get it, Sehun. I… like him. I really like him. You and I… I was young then. I could not have possibly known what I wanted.”

Sehun’s breathing quickened. “You now know… that you want _him_?”

“Yes.”

Sehun swallowed the lump in his throat. Then pursing his lips, he nodded his head. “All right. He is going to break your heart.”

“It is a chance _I_ want to take. It is about me, Sehun. Not about you. So, please, just let this go. And let’s be friends.”

Sehun was not really in a position to refuse her friendship. If he refused her now, then he truly would have no friends in his life. No one who would care about him.

So, he hung his head and sighed. “If that’s what you want.”

Later that night, he cried himself to sleep because he knew that he was going to be alone forever, and his shirt still smelled like Kai’s cologne.


	3. Chapter 3

# C H A P T E R F I V E

So fucking stupid.

Kai had no other way to describe what had just happened. He dragged the sword with him as he made his way to the woods. He had almost just kissed Sehun.

For a moment there, he had wondered what if he lost all of his self-control that instant and plunged in for a kiss? Would that finally put him out of his misery?

Sehun was gawking at him with his wide, forever shocked eyes, looking like he _wanted_ to be kissed. That idiot.

He did not know what else Kai would have done to him after that kiss.

Not even _Kai _knew what else he would have done if the kiss had happened.

Shove him down to the courtyard floor and rip his clothes off and then rip _him_ apart? Something he fantasized about once in a while when he was at the courtyard with Sehun.

He found a mountain goat and drained its blood before he sat down under a barren tree and started sulking again.

It was true that Kai had never been kind to Sehun. But Sehun… Hell, did he know how to cut with words…

_“When all that you are is a hell-branded, bloodsucking leech! Even the sight of you appals me_._”_

Kai always tried to not to let Sehun’s micro-aggressions and provocations get to him. But this time, he could not stop himself. He was so close to… doing _something_ to Sehun. He did not know what, though.

But this was what Sehun thought of him. A hell-branded, bloodsucking leech that he wanted gone.

And in the midst of it all, he believed that Kai had stolen his girl. His _girl_ was never even his girl. They were kids. What could they have possibly known about love?

What did _Kai_ know about love?

It was pain. He knew that much. A pain in the neck. A cold, inescapable pain. He knew that his father had not been able to move on from it even after years. He knew that it was what made him think of Sehun in his every waking moment.

Justus’ daughter had been sweet and delicate with her confession when she caught Kai in the courtyard earlier. Even though Kai had wanted to find a way out of there before she could start speaking, he knew that Sehun was coming their way. And he knew the nosy busybody would eavesdrop.

Kai never really wanted them to split. He knew that it would make difference for his case. It was not as though just because Sehun was no longer with the girl he would start making sheep eyes at Kai. No, he knew that it was not going to happen in a million years. Hell, he hoped that he would not have to live a million years.

* * *

“Do you when Father is coming back?” Kai asked Lada, who was sitting across him in the library, checking through some list Kai was not interested in.

Without looking up from her list, she said, “He has not written me to tell me that.”

Kai sighed and momentarily returned his attention to the book he had read ten times. He had read every book in here at least ten times.

“But I did hear that you were asked to find a bride soon,” she said, raising her head. “and hold her hand in marriage.”

Kai sneered at her. “You make it sound so dramatic.” She made everything sound so dramatic.

She cocked an eyebrow at him. “Have you started looking for prospects?”

Kai slammed the book shut. “I have an eternity to find a bride, don’t I?”

“Not quite. Your babies will be stronger if you sire them while you are still young.”

“Father had me when he was a hundred something. And I am strong.”

“You could be stronger.”

Kai pulled a face at her. “I am not marrying anyone anytime soon.”

“I can help you find some prospects if you are having trouble finding some yourself.” She looked down at her quill and parchment again.

Kai blinked then. “You… can?”

“Yes. Fertile vampires. In their prime, birthing years. Some of them can spawn two at a time.”

A lump formed in Kai’s throat. “What about… boys?”

His governess (it sounded ridiculous to call her his governess now) did not seem to be thrown off by that question. She had always been very professional.

“Boys, too,” she said calmly. “If you prefer them.”

Kai did prefer them to women. He did not why or how since he had never been with a boy before (or a girl). He was not even sure if it were the boys that he liked or if it was just Sehun that he liked. Sehun was a boy, so it checked out.

“Although pregnancy is always a fuss with men,” said Lada. “Most of them are not fertile enough. So, you must try hard and a lot.”

If Kai had had any blood in the last hour, his face might have turned red at that. He tried to hide his embarrassment by burying his nose in the book again.

“I’m still not saying that I want a partner right now,” he murmured. “I am not ready.”

“For what?” she asked in a stern tone.

“For… any of it.”

“To get married or to be a father, you mean?”

“Both.” Kai groaned and stood up. “I’m going to get some blood.”

“You have been drinking a lot of blood in the past one week. Try some human food instead. Leave the rats in the basement some room to rebreed.”

She was right. Kai had been craving blood a lot more than he used to. Maybe it would not be the worst thing to tap back into his human stomach for a while.

So, he wended his way down to the kitchen to ask Justus to make him something filling. Perhaps a boysenberry pie.

He found Justus lounged in a wooden chair in the kitchen with his feet up in another, sinking a bite into what looked like a custard tart.

“Master Kai!” he gasped and scurried up to his feet at once, like he wanted to salute or something.

Kai slipped his hands into his pockets and looked at him dully. “I’m hungry,” he said.

Justus scratched the back of his head, looking down at the half-eaten custard in his hand.

“I don’t want that,” Kai spat, rolling his eyes.

“Oh.” He put the tart down and wiped his hand on his apron. “What shall I make you, then?”

There was once a time when Justus used to not fear Kai. But now, he did. He properly feared Kai. “Boysenberry pie,” Kai ordered.

“I’m afraid it isn’t boysenberry season yet, Master,” he said nervously. “How about a cloudberry pie instead? I know there must be some growing in the woods this time of the year. One moment.”

He turned away from Kai and stuck his head out the kitchen window.

“Boy!” he hollered. “Come over here!”

Kai tried to appear calm as he heard and smelled Sehun rushing over to the back of the kitchen.

“Yeah,” he said, almost panting when he reached the backdoor. His eyes instantly darted past Justus’ shoulder and landed on Kai.

Kai smirked at him to annoy him as usual. Because he was sick like that. He would rather annoy and provoke the boy he liked than ask him out on a date like a normal person.

“I need you to go up into the woods and pick a basket of cloudberries,” Justus told Sehun.

Tearing his gaze from Kai, Sehun fixed it on Justus. “But it’s almost nightfall.”

Right. It would be stupid of anyone to wander into the woods at this hour. Kai almost told Justus to call the thing off, but he did not because he did not want to even accidentally let Sehun know that he cared about him.

“So?” said Justus. “Take a lantern with you.”

Groaning and grumbling under his breath, Sehun accepted the basket from Justus and shot Kai one last sharp look before he turned away.

Kai licked his lips and rubbed the nape of his neck. Could Sehun smarty-pants outrun a snow grizzly? Maybe he could outrun a baby mountain yak, but he would never get past a grizzly or a wolf. Or even a wild dog. He really was all mouth, no trousers. Not that Kai would ever complain about it if Sehun was all mouth, no trousers in his bedroom.

“Call me down when the food is ready,” Kai muttered and sauntered out of the kitchen.

* * *

“Cloudberries,” Sehun groused the whole way, basket in one hand, lantern in the other. Even though he was covered in several layers, it was still freezing cold. He could be indoors, relishing in the warmth of the hearth. But he was out here instead, picking cloudberries for Justus.

No, for Kai.

“Can’t he just fucking eat potatoes or something,” he grumbled to himself, marching up the hill. “Or rats. He loves rats, doesn’t he? Why doesn’t he just go down to the basement and grab some himself?”

He kicked a fallen branch out of his way. When he finally found a couple of cloudberries on the floor of the forest, he crouched down and plucked them from their stems. They had this pleasant rosy amber hue to their plump flesh. And they tasted very good when jammed or liquored.

Tossing them into the basket, he rose back up to his feet.

“He is a vampire, anyway,” he muttered. “Why does he want to eat human food?”

“So, this is something you do often?”

Sehun jumped and spun around so fast that his foot tripped over a root and he fell on his rump, dropping the lantern and the basket. He saw the silhouette of Kai leaning against a tree with his arms crossed over his chest.

“You come to the woods to rail at me behind my back?”

Sehun’s heart began to thunder in his chest. He did not turn a hair as he watched Kai pull himself away from the tree and walk towards him.

“Wh-What are you doing here?” Sehun asked.

Kai shrugged as he strutted past Sehun, not bothering to give him a hand to help him up. He never had. Sehun pushed himself up and dusted the dirt off his clothes.

He was in the woods with a vampire (a vampire who really hated him and had no reason to keep him alive) and darkness was rapidly descending down the city like a black blanket. Would Kai attack if Sehun tried to run now?

“This is my territory, pansy,” Kai said with that charming coolness of his when he turned around to face Sehun. “I go wherever I want.”

How was this _his_ territory? Was he speaking as a predator? The way predators claimed territories and everything else in there was their prey?

“Are you trying to scare me? I am not scared.”

Kai laughed. His laughter disturbed the wind. “Clearly. Otherwise, you would not be trying to get yourself killed by me since you were twelve.”

Sehun scowled at that. “Not since twelve. I never did anything to you when we were twelve. I wanted to be your friend, you insufferable prick.”

Kai stilled for a moment, the complacent smirk of his faltering. He expressionlessly stared at Sehun, who was glowering at him. He folded his arms again. “And then you figured out that I was a vampire?”

Sehun sneered at him. “Yes.” He picked the lantern and basket up and started past Kai.

He did not have to look back to see if Kai followed him. After a few moments, he heard footfalls tread after him. “Did you hear it from that chapel school of yours?”

Why was Kai making this conversation? Was it a trap? Was he plotting to divert Sehun’s attention and then kill him when he was least expecting it? He was definitely hungry now, wasn’t he?

“I heard it from everywhere,” Sehun answered, anyway, not wanting to let Kai know that he was paranoid.

Kai stopped in his tracks to bend down and pick a few cloudberries before he popped one into his mouth and the rest into the basket. Sehun would have scowled more at him, but he did not want to look at him right now.

“And you believed them,” Kai continued. “just like that?”

“Not _just_ _like that_. You checked a lot of boxes.”

“Hmm.”

What did that mean? Why was Kai asking these questions?!

Sehun plucked a few more berries before he ventured further into the trees. Kai was still following.

“Did you and your girly friend patch things up yet?” Kai asked after a while.

Sehun stopped then and turned to face him with a black look. “Why are you talking to me? What is your game?”

Kai shrugged again. “Grizzlies,” he said, nodding his side to a side.

Of course. Kai was making noises to keep the wild animals away.

“Oh,” Sehun let out. “That did not… occur to me.”

“Of course not,” Kai said, smirking. “You only ever think that I am up to no good.” He found some cloudberries at his feet and picked them while Sehun stood there, frowning.

“What do you mean by that?” he asked Kai. “You _are_ up to no good.”

“How do you know that?”

“You are a vampire.”

“So, because I am a vampire, I am automatically a villain? Where is that written?”

“_Everywhere_,” Sehun spat, eyebrows drawn tightly together.

Kai scratched the back of his head in the most boyish manner. “Yeah, I guess.”

Did he just agree with Sehun? Again? “What are you up to?” Sehun asked.

Kai raised his brows. Then he chuckled. “You are so suspicious about everything.”

“Not everything. Just you.”

Kai stared at him without a snarky reply for a moment. And then he started closing the distance between them. Sehun took a step back for every step that Kai advanced toward him.

“Do you really think that I can be that villainous?” asked Kai, his tone steadier than ever.

Sehun raised the lantern to be able to see Kai’s face more clearly. “Yes.”

“Then tell me,” Kai said and caught Sehun’s arm when Sehun stumbled over something on the ground and almost tripped. Steadying Sehun, he kept his grip on the arm. After just a few seconds, his fingers began to tremble, and pulled them back, glaring at the cross around Sehun’s neck. “What villainous things do you think I am capable of doing?”

Sehun swallowed before speaking. “Y-You drink blood. So, you… kill people.”

The lantern’s light illuminated Kai’s face with a splash of gold. He looked… really handsome in this lighting, Sehun realized.

“Have you seen me kill people?” asked Kai.

Sehun gritted his teeth. “Just because I didn’t see something, it does not mean it’s not real.”

“Does that apply to other things or just this one thing?”

Sehun looked at Kai confusedly.

Kai stepped even closer and pried the lantern out of Sehun’s hand. “You believe that I am a vampire because of what you saw and heard around you. But you did not know that I am also human.”

Sehun tried hard to not to let his expressions show. He maintained a stoic face, though it was getting harder for him to breathe. At some point, he had also dropped the basket to the ground because he was no longer holding it.

“That’s… poppycock,” Sehun let out shakily. “You… said it yourself… that you’re a vampire.”

“And now I’m telling you that I am also human,” said Kai. He said it like he believed it. He looked serious. He was not smirking, he was not lying. “My… mother was… human.”

Sehun thought that his heart had stopped for a moment. He had never heard anything about Kai’s mother before. Not from Kai, not from anybody.

“Wh-What?”

Kai looked away for a second, eyebrows furrowed. Then he sighed. “You would not care about that, would you?” he then said, looking back at Sehun. “All that you care about is that as long as I’m a vampire, I’m evil.”

“You are… evil.” Sehun did not know why he said it like he was unsure of it.

“Why? Because I kill a bunch of rats daily? Your kind slaughters a whole pig every hour.”

Sehun flinched. “You… You… But you…”

“Agh! Forget about it.” Kai shoved past Sehun again, looking for more cloudberries.

What was a vampire doing out here in the dark, picking berries with Sehun? What was Kai going to gain from this (apart from a pie)?

“What is running in that gigantic head of yours?” Sehun asked, huffing hard. Kai was part human. Whether it was the truth or not, Sehun did not know. But assuming that Kai was not lying about his mother, this might change a lot of things.

“What?” Kai asked, turning around.

“Why are you telling me all this?” Sehun breathed out. “Is this a trick? What are you thinking?”

As if Kai was going to lay out his plans and plots to Sehun just like that.

Kai did not say anything for moments as he stared painstakingly at Sehun.

* * *

He was right there. So close at reach.

* * *

“I know that you have thought of hurting me,” said Sehun. “You have tried to many times and succeeded some of those times.”

Kai scoffed. “Yeah. I have thought of hurting you.”

Bastard. He admitted. “Then you _are_ evil. You have mocked me, ridiculed me, belittled me, bullied me, hurt me since you were twelve years old and I came into this place a broken child. I had just lost my mother, and I did not know anything. I did not understand anything. I did not understand why you were being so mean to me. I did not understand what I had done to make you detest me so much. I was stripped away from everything that I knew and brought to a strange place and was asked to meet strange people.”

* * *

_I need him to stop._ Kai needed him to stop before it could get out of hand. He never should have said anything. He never should have gone after Sehun.

This was bad.

* * *

“But then I saw _you_,” Sehun exhaled. He wanted his eyes to stop stinging with tears. He had not told these things to anyone. Not even Marie. “Just a boy. A boy like me. I thought… maybe you would be friends with me and that would make this whole thing less scary.”

He stopped to take in a breath. Kai was just staring at him. It was very uncharacteristic of him to not to have sneered or smirked already. Maybe he was. Sehun wished that Kai was not holding the lantern so low because he could not really see Kai’s face all that clearly.

“You know what?” Sehun the added. “Maybe I don’t actually care if you are a vampire. Maybe my problem with you has always been that you are a jerk. Maybe it _is_ personal after all.”

He waited to see if Kai would say something. He did not.

“I know that you are thinking of hurting me right now.”

* * *

It was the furthest thing from what Kai was thinking right now.

* * *

“And I quite frankly don’t care,” Sehun spat. “Maybe you are not a villainous _vampire_. But you are still a villain, who has hated me since I was child, even though I had done nothing to you besides wanting to be your friend.”

He closed his eyes momentarily.

“And then you take away the one friend I actually had,” said Sehun, sounding more miserable than he had wanted to. “I know that you did that on purpose. Because you want to torment me. So, you took Marie away from me. You win. All right? You have won.”

* * *

_Oh… If only you knew that I have already lost._

_Lost myself. Lost my heart. Lost it all to you._

Kai could see in the dark. Better than humans could. Definitely better than Sehun could. And right now, he could see the tears in Sehun’s eyes. The tip of his nose was red, and so were the apple of his cheeks. He reminded Kai of the first time he had seen the boy. Lost, grieving, and in socks.

* * *

Sehun glared at Kai through the tears, unsure of why he was saying all this. Clearly, Kai did not give a damn.

But maybe Sehun… wanted him to. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if Kai cared for once? Cared that Sehun was only human, and he had human feelings, which Kai constantly hurt?

* * *

_I don’t want to hurt him. I never wanted to hurt him._ Not like this. In the more recent years, he had tried to keep his distance from Sehun. But it was hard to avoid him when Sehun constantly sought him out and followed him everywhere.

The only way that Kai could cope with it was by continuing to be mean to him. Otherwise, he was going to lose his mind when Sehun broke his heart by telling him that he would never be with a vampire. Or maybe he never wanted to have that option in the first place because he knew that if by some sick fluke Sehun accepted him, he would be putting the boy through hell. Sehun was a human, and humans were not welcome in the world of vampires with warm embraces. Look at the way Kai’s mother was still treated, like she was a nobody.

* * *

Kai was definitely up to something. He had never been this quiet for so long. Normally, he would have already lunged at Sehun for having said all that and wounding his pride.

But then again, Sehun had not said these things to him before. He had never told Kai what he had wanted once. A friendship. Perhaps if they had been friends, if Kai had been nice, this whole vampire thing would have mattered at all.

“Say something,” Sehun said at long last when he realized that Kai was going to just stand there and stare. “What are you plotting? What are you going to do to me now?”

* * *

_What am I going to do to him now?_

* * *

Sehun thought of just picking up the basket and go home. He would give Justus some lame excuse about seeing a ghost or something. He did not want to stand here in these woods with Kai any longer than he already had.

And then Kai slammed the lantern against a tree. The shattering glass and denting frame made a discordant noise that broke the last silence of the woods. And the light went out.

Sehun froze to the ground, blood running cold, as he gawked at the darkness that surrounded him. In that moment, all that he could hear was the sound of his own breathing and the wind rustling the barren branches of the trees.

_Shit._ He was going to die. He was so going to die.

“Kai?” he tried calling when he found his voice. It came out as a dreadful whisper. He had never been in a dark so dark before. He was afraid that if he moved, something would pounce on him.

If Kai had moved from where he was standing, Sehun did not hear him at all. And he did not dare move from his spot to find out if Kai was still there. Had he left Sehun here in the dark after smashing his lantern so that he would get lost and get eaten by a bear?

And he thought that he wasn’t evil?!

“Kai,” Sehun called again in a slightly louder voice this time. “This is… not funny.”

Then he smelled Kai’s cologne from behind him. He felt Kai’s breath on the nape of his neck. He almost turned around but didn’t. He was afraid. He was truly afraid. Kai’s mouth was too close to his neck.

“I am not thinking of hurting you,” Kai said at last in a hoarse breath that had the fine hairs on Sehun’s neck sticking up. “No. My thoughts are… so much worse.”

Swallowing hard, Sehun finally turned around.

* * *

Last chance. _Back out._

* * *

Oh, God. He was going to die.

* * *

There was no going back.

* * *

Kai was going to kill him.

* * *

_He is killing me. I cannot take this much longer._

* * *

A pair of cold hands came up to the sides of his face. Sehun held his breath, so now the only thing that he could hear was Kai’s breathing. His erratic, flustered breathing. His fingers trembled at the sides of Sehun’s face, like something pained them. The cross.

Even so, Kai did not pull back. Not this time.

* * *

He was searching for Kai’s eyes, blindly in the dark. Kai hoped that he would never find them because he did not want Sehun to see the dread in them.

* * *

Sehun was not doing anything to fight Kai off. He did not know why. His arms were just hanging idly at his sides, his eyes wide and searching. And then he caught a small sight of Kai tilting his head to the side and forward.

* * *

_And I kiss him. _

_It hurts. It hurts so bad._

* * *

# C H A P T E R S I X

What in all seven heavens…

Kai’s lips were as cold as ice, as Sehun had expected them to be, when they touched his. Sehun’s entire body numbed for a moment, and he was unable to do _anything_. Think, react, breathe, push Kai away. Nothing. All that he could do was stand there, only because Kai was holding him up.

It would have been so much easier if Kai had just bitten him. But he was… kissing him instead.

God. Holy fucking lord. Skies and heavens. Kai was _kissing_ him. A boy was kissing him. A vampire boy.

Sehun would have passed out if his brain had allowed that at least that.

Kai’s lips were nothing like Marie’s, which were soft and warm. Kai’s were slightly rigid and confused, like they were unsure if they were doing it right.

Nothing about this was right.

But at the same time, everything felt so right.

Kai was about to pull back when Sehun lifted a hand and slid his fingers into the boy’s hair. It was softer, silkier than what Sehun had thought it would be. The dark, long strands slipped between his fingers as Sehun leaned forward, eyes clenched, and pressed harder against Kai’s mouth.

This was bad. This was very bad. What was Sehun doing?!

* * *

He was kissing Kai back. Fucking hell. All these years, Kai had always felt as though he were hanging in a limbo between life and death, knowing that he was neither completely alive nor completely dead.

But right now, this instant, as Sehun’s lips moved against his, lightly sucking his upper lip, Kai had never been more trapped in that limbo. It had never been realer than this.

On the one hand, he was alive, set ablaze by Sehun’s warm, tender lips. But on the other, the fucking cross around his neck was killing him.

It was like a low thrum that spread through Kai’s body, knifing every nerve in it. But still, he did not want to pull away. Not when Sehun was kissing him back.

Hell, he would happily die this way.

Sehun’s fingers that were tangled in his hair made his head spin. Kai had not even thought that he was capable of feeling things like this. This giddiness that nearly buckled his knees.

Fuck, he was so weak for Sehun.

He felt Sehun’s cheeks grow hotter against his palms. This was the first time Kai had ever touched them. They were soft like dough.

And he did not know how to even describe Sehun’s lips or the way they felt and tasted in words.

Was it the cross or the kiss that was making Kai swoon to the point where he was drowning? He realized that he did not really care.

He drank in the scent of Sehun’s skin, the suppleness of his lips, the heat of his saliva for as long as they lasted.

And then all of a sudden, Sehun brought his hands to Kai’s chest and shoved him back, breaking the kiss once and for all.

Staggering back, Kai floundered for a moment, trying to get his head stop from spinning and his hands from burning like they were set on fire.

Then he looked up at Sehun, who was staring at him with wide, glassy eyes, still trying to find Kai’s eyes in the dark.

“Are you toying… with me, too?” asked Sehun in a trembling breath. He looked and sounded like he was about to break into angry, resentful tears.

Kai’s heart dropped.

“Is this another trick of yours?” Sehun spat through his grit teeth. “to mock me?”

Kai was so tired. And in pain. “Do you really… believe that I would… kiss you just to… mock you?”

Sehun fell silent.

Kai could not take this anymore. He turned around and dashed into the trees, desperately looking for something to drink from because he was too worn out and Sehun’s blood that was pulsing through his veins was overwhelmingly tempting. Kissing Sehun while he was still wearing his damn cross had completely drained Kai.

And the hurtful accusation in the end… Fuck, Kai could not even think about it right now.

But his lips were still throbbing with the heat of Sehun’s lips. Only Sehun could kiss him, give him hope, and then cut him down with his words like that.

And because it was Sehun, Kai was going to allow it time and again.

* * *

Kai had left him alone in the dark woods for good this time. And Sehun knew he was not coming back. So, he started back to the city on his own, praying that he was going the right way. He followed downhill, knowing that that would lead him away from the mountains.

He tripped and fell several times, but he eventually made it back to the city. He heard dogs howl in a distance and shuddered.

Then wrapping his arms around his shivering body, he started for the castle. No, he was not shivering because of the cold. It was the kiss.

He had had plenty of kisses before. But none like this.

This was… something else. Something Sehun could not describe.

If he was not already confused before, he sure was now.

Maybe that was what Kai wanted. Maybe he wanted to mess with Sehun’s head. It was a part of his grand plot to…

To what? Torture Sehun? Probably. But why… Sehun of all people? Everyone (including Sehun) would think that he was the least significant person in Kai’s life. Kai was royalty and a vampire. Why would he go to this extent just to mess with Sehun? He certainly could not be that bored, could he? And he definitely could find better, more interesting people to have fun with instead of Sehun.

But hadn’t this been their whole relationship? This whole cat-and-mouse chase? Sometimes Kai was the cat, and sometimes it was Sehun.

Who was the cat in _this_ situation? The kiss?

Was it Kai who probably had some ulterior motive or was it Sehun who had lured Kai to do such a thing? The latter suggested that Kai was sincere about the kiss, so Sehun quickly ruled it out.

And Sehun never lured Kai to do anything! God, Sehun never lured anyone to do anything. He was not that alluring. Even Marie did not want him.

Marie…

Why was Kai kissing _Sehun_ when he should be kissing Marie?

This was all just too much. As soon as he reached home, he did not bother to go over to Justus and explain to the man why he had not gotten the cloudberries. He collapsed onto his pallet instead and stared lifelessly at the ceiling.

Then bringing his cold fingers to his lips, he brushed them gently for a moment, briefly reliving the kiss, recalling Kai’s cold but soft lips. Then he groaned and clapped his hands over his burning face.

Why was he thinking about kissing a vampire boy in the forest! It was ridiculous! Kai was probably laughing somewhere right now, knowing that he had made Sehun lose all his sleep (and sanity) over that kiss. Well, Sehun was not going to give him that satisfaction, so he clenched his eyes and tried to forget all about it.

Instead, he started thinking about what Kai had said about his mother being human. That would make Kai part human. And that explained why he could eat human foods and did all the other things humans did. Well, most of them at least.

Then Sehun was thinking about the kiss again. If he ignored the vampire part, he really had just kissed another boy. It was not that boys kissing other boys was a weird thing or anything. But he had just always believed that Marie would be the only one for him. He would not kiss anyone but her in his life. But now, he had kissed a boy.

He was not sure why that thought had his blood drumming in his ears and stirring in the lower part of his body. And his heart had not raced so fast when he first kissed Marie. Also, that had been long ago, so he could really remember what it was like.

But Kai’s kiss… God, he was going to remember it for the rest of his life. It was going to haunt him forever. That bastard.

* * *

He had no appetite to stomach all the food that was laid out before him on the table, even though he was the one who had asked Justus to make them all. He had not eaten anything since that night in the woods. The night he had kissed Sehun, the bloody human boy.

It was stupid. The worst part of it all was that Kai knew that it was stupid and had done it, anyway. He had known exactly what Sehun’s reaction would be and he had gone in for the kiss, anyway.

He felt sick for the next couple of days, unable to leave his bed or room. His head did not stop spinning even after he had drained a whole doe that night in the woods. When he was finally able to lift his head again, he made his way downstairs and ordered Justus to make him something to eat.

But now as he stared at the food, he could not find the appetite for it. He had no appetite for blood either. Maybe this was the legendary realm of heartbreak, where nothing even mattered anymore.

Would Sehun hold the kiss against him, he wondered. It was _Sehun_. He would hold everything against Kai if he could. So, of course, he was going to hold the kiss against him. Maybe he would threaten Kai with it. Maybe he would tell everyone in the city about what a freak Kai was for kissing a human boy right once he was done telling them all that Kai was a vampire.

He tried to stop thinking about the kiss and Sehun, and the only way to succeed was to just stop living. Even his dreams were about them. Or nightmares rather.

It was a good thing his father was not here, or he would have known that something was up with Kai, and that would lead to a lot of awkward questions.

“I’m not hungry,” he sighed at last, deciding that he was not going to be able to eat. Justus looked at him confusedly as he rose from the table and sauntered out of the dining hall.

Behind him Kai then heard the man say, “Oh, goodie. I can take these for myself.”

The days were starting to get warmer. Not warm, but less cold. Winter was nearing its end.

He had not been down for his swordplay practice (which he did not need since he was seventeen, but still wanted it because it was the one time of the day he got to see Sehun) in the last couple of days. He wondered if Sehun had showed up for it. He would not be surprised if the boy had already run for the hills after that evening in the woods.

But he halted in his tracks in the corridor when he smelled the scent wafting out of the courtyard. Blood lime and magnolia. The scent coiled around his throat and choked him for a moment, reminding him of the devastating kiss and heart-breaking things Sehun had accused him of afterwards.

With his hands casually stuck in the pockets of his trousers, he ambled into the courtyard, where he found Sehun perched on a bench, vacantly staring at nothing with an idle sword in his hand.

Kai cleared his throat just to startle the boy.

Sehun’s head shot up before he turned with a jump, dropping the sword to the ground. He quickly picked it up and scrambled up to his feet, turning to gawk at Kai with slacked jaw and nervous gaze.

He looked like he might start sweating. He was not even blinking his eyes as he stared at Kai like he had seen a ghost. He must have not expected Kai to show up. Kai had not wanted to show up. But since he was here anyway, he did not want to let the boy know that the kiss had been keeping him up day and night, making it impossible for him to think about anything else.

So, he calmly wandered over to the swords rack and retrieved a sword. Sehun was still gawking at him. Hell, Kai wished that he had the mind-reading power everyone thought vampires did now. He wanted to know what Sehun was thinking. About him. About the kiss. Because he could decipher nothing from the way Sehun gawked.

Kai’s eyes shot to the cross around Sehun’s neck as he took his position, unsheathing the sword. Seeing him do that, Sehun pulled his mouth close and took his position as well.

Kai was usually the one the making the first move. He did not feel like doing it this time, so he waited for Sehun to strike.

And Sehun went back to staring at him like a sitting duck.

Sighing, Kai clenched his eyes for a beat before he vaulted forward, swinging his sword. Sehun blocked it, in spite of looking distressed and distracted.

He shoved Kai back with his sword before he swung. Kai dodged it by ducking and retaliated with a blow, which Sehun easily parried. He parried again when Kai attacked him. And again, as though he could foresee Kai’s next move.

Even though Kai was undernourished and tired, he continued with the sparring until they were both out of breath. For the final blow, Kai let Sehun take the first swing. Instead of blocking it with his sword, he caught Sehun’s wrist and stopped the blade shy of touching his neck. Sehun’s eyes bulged out in shock, like he was not expecting Kai to do that. If Kai’s grip had not been strong enough, Sehun’s blade would have sliced through his neck.

“I’m not always that predictable, Sehun,” Kai panted out, saying Sehun’s name out loud in an open space, in front of another, for the first time. He had growled the name out many times before, but that was when he was alone and aroused or having a really inappropriate dream.

Sehun, gasping for breath, was gazing into Kai’s eyes now. “You… You said my name,” he let out, lips parted, cheeks full of blood.

Kai had to let go of the boy’s wrist now or he was going to pass out. But he did not. He wanted to never stop. He clamped his hand harder around Sehun’s wrist and scowled at him, grinding his teeth. He needed Sehun to stop looking at him like that. Like he was looking at a pitiful dog.

And then with the sword still in his hand, Sehun raised the other hand to Kai’s shirt. The instant his hand touched Kai’s chest, curling around the shirt there, Kai’s heart stopped beating.

He watched Sehun close his eyes and pull him forward by the shirt. Kai let himself fall against the boy until their lips met. The sword slid from his grip and clanged against the ground. He did not care about breathing or the sharp pain that shot through his spine as he brought his hands to hold the sides of Sehun’s waist while Sehun kissed him feverously.

The whole world slipped away for a moment as Sehun consumed him, ridding him of everything else that mattered. The ground, the sky, the air, his lucidity. Hell, Sehun fitted so well in his hands. Like it was where he belonged.

Each breath that Sehun took between the gaps of their lips made Kai go crazy. His hand that was fisted around his shirt had Kai almost crumbling. And fuck, did he know how to kiss so good…

His lips were the warmest thing Kai had ever touched in his life. And in that moment, they were all his.

When he pulled back from the kiss, it was not by his own willing. His legs were giving in, and so were his lungs.

“Kai?” Sehun called, and his voice sounded like a distant echo.

Kai dropped to his knees on the ground and panted hard, his skin bathed in cold sweat, his vision tunnelling. He tried to calm himself, though he was suddenly ravenous with hunger.

“Kai,” Sehun gasped as he knelt before Kai and tried to take hold of Kai’s hands.

Kai flinched away. Sehun looked hurt as he withdrew his hand from Kai. “Your cross…” he croaked out, choking.

Sehun looked down at his cross and frowned. “What… should I… do about it?”

“Get. Rid. Of it.” Kai knew the instant he said it, Sehun would get suspicious again.

And he did. Sehun fixed him with a dubious look, though most of it was still concern. He closed a hand around the cross, but he did not look like he was going to take it off.

Kai closed his eyes and drew a shaky breath. “Get away from me,” he told Sehun.

“Wh-What?”

He did not bother to repeat it because he was dead sure that Sehun heard him.

“Kai?” He then heard another voice. It was Marie. “Is everything all right?” She sounded alarmed as she rushed over to them.

Kai wondered if she had been coming to the courtyard, looking for him. She had showed up at his room a couple of times in the last few days. But Kai had ignored her knocks. Unless it was Sehun on the other side of his bedroom door, he was not planning on opening it.

“What did you do to him?” she gasped at Sehun, shoving him aside so that she could kneel before Kai. She took his hand in one of hers and brought the other to cup a side of Kai’s cheek. “You are so… cold. What did you do?!” she yapped at Sehun again. “Did you hurt him?”

Sehun gaped at her, horrified. Then he glowered at Kai’s hand that was in hers for a long moment. “I did not do anything to him,” he said, pushing himself up to his feet. Liar. “And he is _cold_ because he is a…”

Kai glanced up at him, curious to see if Sehun would go on. If he would actually say it.

The boy looked conflicted as he trailed off, face scrunched up in all sorts of confusion.

“Honestly, Sehun,” Marie spat. “You are unbelievable. And petty.”

“I didn’t… do anything to him, Marie,” he said, sounding less convincing than he did before. As though he was not sure of it himself.

“Kai?” the girl said gently like she wanted to lull Kai to sleep or something. Kai sighed once he was sure that he was not going to faint anymore and slowly retrieved his hand from Marie’s slender, soft fingers. “Are you all right? Do you need me to get you someone?”

Kai shakily pushed himself up to his feet. When he met Sehun’s eyes, they were staring back at him. Sehun swallowed. His lips were still quite red from the kiss. He looked guilty, nervous, and bewildered all at the same time. The prominent Adam’s apple in his throat kept bobbing every time he gulped (and Kai wanted to bite it so bad). He looked like he wanted to say something when he opened his mouth and then tentatively closed it again before he bit his lower lip, worrying it and sucking whatever traces of Kai’s lips that were left on it.

Not a single minute ever went by without Sehun making a whole fucking show with his mouth. And his mouth right now was doing all sorts of things that was making it difficult for Kai to even stand in the same space with him.

When Marie took him by the arm, Kai almost snarled at her and told her to leave him alone. But then he saw the way Sehun’s gaze immediately shifted to her.

“Do you need to sit down?” the girl asked.

“No,” Kai said in a hoarse voice. “I just…” He looked up at Sehun again. “Need to get out of here.”

As he turned and stomped out of the courtyard, Marie hurried after him. “Did Sehun say something to you? You really seem ill. Did he hurt you?”

“You heard him,” Kai spat. “He did not do anything.”

He did not even know why he was angry. It was fair to think that Sehun would be confused about this situation. And Kai had asked him to get rid of his precious cross, and of course, that would have alarmed him.

“Really?” said Marie. “I just thought that—”

Kai cut her off when he faced her with a vicious snarl. “I need you to leave me alone. Right now.”

She looked frightened. “Oh… I’m… sorry.”

Kai shook his head, rolling his eyes, as he turned and walked away from her. She did not follow him again, thankfully.

He went straight to the basement and caught a bunch of rats. He then slammed their heads against the floor before he sat down in a dark corner and sucked their blood out like a feral monster.

* * *

Sehun knew that he was down there. Killing rats. Sighing, he sat down on the corridor step near the basement and waited for Kai to come back up.

Hours passed and no sight of Kai. Sehun licked his chapped lips worriedly and glanced toward the basement door for the nth time. He was not dead down there, was he?

God. Could anyone die from a kiss?!

Sehun had wanted to kill Kai for a long time. He had always pictured himself doing it by besting Kai in a duel. He was not sure what he would do with himself if he actually managed to kill Kai with a kiss.

A kiss!

Maybe Kai was just overreacting. He could be very dramatic at times.

Sehun raised the cross to his lips and mindlessly chewed on it before he realized that he was besmirching the talisman and lowered it again. The cross had hurt Kai. Not the kiss. If it weren’t for the cross, they could have been kissing for longer.

Sehun’s cheeks grew hot at the thought, and he pressed his cold fingers against them to stop blushing.

He must be bewitched. Could vampires do that? Because Sehun could not find any other logical explanation as to why he had kissed Kai earlier. It was true that he had not been able to go a full minute without thinking about their kiss in the woods since it had happened. But the second time they had kissed, it was Sehun who had initiated it and it was the most impulsive thing he had ever done.

It was not unlike him to do something out of impulsive, but he had never imagined that one day, he would look at Kai’s lips and would want to snog him.

It had felt good, nonetheless. Sehun was embarrassed to admit it, even in the privacy of his own head, but it had felt stunning to kiss Kai. The skin beneath Kai’s lower lip was coarse with tiny, prickly hairs that were invisible to the naked eye (he must not have shaved this morning) and it felt strangely arousing when they scraped Sehun’s lips.

Kissing Marie had been completely different. She was gentle and delicate. It was not bad kissing, but it was… different.

Kissing a boy was slightly rough. Sehun supposed he liked that. Rough and cold.

Then there was this whole idea of Kai. The prodigious vampire boy, who had held Sehun like he was the most fragile, breakable thing in the world when they were kissing. Sehun had not even known that Kai was capable of that. Not after years of thinking that Kai wanted to kill him.

Maybe he still did. Maybe this was all part of his plan.

But what if it wasn’t? What would that make them?

The night was always longer than the day in Caerdorne. But tonight, it seemed endlessly long, as Sehun waited for Kai. He eventually realized that Kai was not going to come back anytime soon.

So, he stood up, dusted himself off, and glanced at the basement door one last time before he turned and walked away.

As he headed home, he wondered if he should talk to Marie about what happened earlier. Try to explain himself. He had hated the sight of her holding Kai’s hand, but he was no longer sure why. Was it because he still wanted Marie, or because Kai would not let _him_ hold his hand?

In the end, he decided not to talk to Marie about it. He did not want to talk to her at all right now, even though they had agreed to be friends.

As he lay on his pallet, sleepless once more, he thought about Kai. Perhaps he should have mustered the courage and go down to the basement, so that he could have made sure that Kai was all right. That he had not killed Kai with his kiss.

So, did he want to keep Kai alive now?

Yes. Yes, he did.

And he wanted to kiss Kai again.

He truly must be bewitched.

* * *

As much as Kai wanted to find out why Sehun had kissed him in the courtyard, he did not have it in him to be disappointed yet again. At the end of the day, Sehun wanted Marie. At the end of the day, he still believed that Kai was villainous and up to no good.

Then why kiss him a second time if he were going to break his heart in the end after all?

Kai groaned and rolled onto his back on the bed. It had been a lazy day. He had not left his room, not even when his governess threatened to kick the door down if he did not come to his lessons. He told her that he had an eternity to learn those lessons. They could wait. She could wait. He was not leaving his bed today.

Around midday, he sat up and glanced out the window of his room to see if he could catch a sight of Sehun near the outbuildings. This had become an obsessive habit of his since he was twelve. He constantly clung to the windowsill and watched out for Sehun every time he was in his room. He only stopped doing it so compulsively once Sehun and Marie made the backyard their common spot for snogging. He could not bear to watch it.

Then a gentle, familiar scent caught his attention. His head turned sharply to look at the door. His heartbeat quickened, and his throat tightened.

He watched a shadow move in the slit beneath the door.

For a moment, Kai froze, body numbing at the realization that Sehun was at his door.

Sitting up on the edge of his bed, Kai gripped the end of the mattress and watched Sehun teeter around at the door, clearly struggling to find the courage to knock.

Kai waited, swallowing the lump in his throat.

Then, after a few long minutes, there was a knock.

It was a very quiet knock that was meant only for Kai to hear.

He sprung up from his bed and quickly checked his reflection in the mirror. He looked ridiculous and dishevelled. He did not really care. He did not have the time to change or doll himself up. He rushed to the door before Sehun could leave.

He scrubbed his face once with a hand, pausing to gather his breaths. Then calmly, he opened the door.

Sehun stood awkwardly in the hallway, wearing a white billowy shirt, brown trousers, and socks. He must have just taken a bath because he smelled like wheat lye soap.

Kai’s heart could barely contain the overwhelming feeling of joy. Sehun was right here, at his bedroom door. Kai knew that he had never been here before, unlike Marie, who had even snuck in. Kai would pick even the faintest scent of Sehun’s skin anywhere. And also Sehun was pretty clumsy. He would have left a tonne of breadcrumbs behind if he had been here.

His eyes were wide and shocked as they surveyed Kai from head to toe before they settled on Kai’s bare legs. Kai was in his undershorts and a shirt that was sloppily laced. His hair was a mess, too.

He watched blood fill Sehun’s cheeks.

“You’re wearing shorts,” the boy pointed out in a whisper.

“Excellent observation,” Kai muttered, holding the door open.

Sehun licked his lips and raised his eyes to meet Kai’s. “I’ve just never seen you… in shorts.”

Kai kept his lips pressed into a thin line. Sehun was making it so difficult for him to keep his cool when he was blushing and stuttering like that.

“Is there something that you want?” Kai asked. The words came out harsher than he had wanted them to.

Sehun winced and licked his lips once more. “Can we… talk?”

Kai gulped and tried not to let his own nervousness show. He turned and walked back inside, leaving the door open for Sehun to enter.

Sehun hesitated to cross the threshold. Kai crossed his arms and arched an eyebrow at the boy.

“You don’t want to come in?” he asked Sehun grouchily.

Sehun stepped inside then. “Yes, I do.” He even closed the door behind him. Then he just stood there, gawking at the room. When his eyes finally turned to Kai, he gnawed at his bottom lip embarrassedly. “You have a neat room.”

It was too big for one. The furniture was made from dark wood. The curtains and sheets and everything else but the walls in the room was black with a few splashes of maroon.

Sehun was standing _in_ his room right now. Kai was going to have a literal seizure from the way his heart was racing.

Clearing his throat, Sehun dropped his gaze for a moment, fingers fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. Then bringing his head up again, he frowned at Kai.

“What did you do to me?” he asked.

Kai only stared back at him in response because he had no fucking clue what that was supposed to mean. “Have you finally lost your mind?” he spat at Sehun.

“It feels like it,” Sehun mumbled. “You did something to me, didn’t you?” His voice was shaking. And so were his hands, that was why he was clutching at his shirt. “I would not have… done that… if you had not done something to me.”

Kai was so tired of this. “What do you think I did to you?”

Sehun lifted his gaze. Swallowing, he said, “I don’t know. Bewitched me?”

“Are you asking me?” scoffed Kai. “You are the one who thinks he has everything figured out.”

Sehun scowled at him then. “See. You would have been serious and not mock me like this if… it had been real for you.”

Kai clenched his jaw then. “It _was_ real for me, Sehun,” he growled at him. “And I was serious. You were the one who asked if I were toying with you just like how you are asking me if I had _bewitched_ you right now. Maybe I just fucking kissed you because I wanted to kiss you!”

All of Sehun’s fight seemed to have drained from his body as he stared at Kai, lips parted, face ashen with shock.

Kai snorted out a lifeless chuckle and rubbed his forehead. “_You_ are the one who is making this so very difficult,” he said with a sigh. “Especially for me.”

Sehun was not saying anything more. He just stood there, once again like a sitting duck that was waiting to get shot by a crossbow.

Kai unfolded his arms and heaved a breath. “Why did _you_ kiss me yesterday?”

Sehun looked at him with panic now. “Because you…”

Kai was expecting him to say some stupid shit like _‘bewitched me’_.

And that was probably what Sehun wanted to say because the boy trailed off, frowning.

“No, I don’t think it was… _me_,” said Kai in a lower voice as he pulled away from the corner of the room he was standing in. “_You_ kissed me.”

Sehun pursed his lips, his limpid eyes glancing to the flickering candles in Kai’s dimly lit room.

Kai stopped while there was still a safe distance between them. “Would it make things any easier for you if I told you,” he then said, looking at Sehun forlornly. “that I’ve always wanted to kiss you?”

Sehun clenched his eyes and fists tightly as his breathing shallowed.

“Does that… put your mind at ease?” asked Kai, though the lump in his throat was burning too hot for him to speak. “Because I am playing no tricks with you. I just… wanted to kiss you.”

“Why?” Sehun croaked out, his eyes opening again to meet Kai’s anxiously.

Kai licked his lips. “I can’t tell you,” he said almost in a whisper. “because you are just going to break my heart.”

He was going to break it either way.

Sehun looked at him then like his whole world was falling apart before his eyes and he was helpless. “How… will I break your… heart? I’m just an insignificant... _pansy_ you don’t… want around.”

“Please leave, Sehun,” Kai let out. “I can’t… I know that you hate me. And you should. So, I don’t want to do this. It will bring us nowhere. So, just go.”

But Sehun was not moving. He continued to stare at Kai for a painfully long minute before he said, “I kissed you… because I wanted to kiss you, too.”

He paused and chewed on his lip for a beat, as though he were deciding whether or not he wanted to say the next thing.

He said it, anyway. “And I want to do it again.”

All of Kai’s restraints and composure perished that instant as he crossed the room and sprung at Sehun. His hand flew up to the leather strip on which the cross was hanging in a flash and ripped it off the Sehun’s neck before he flung the bloody cross to the other side of the room.

Sehun did not seem like he was offended by it. Kai did not leave him any time to react on it, anyway, as he grabbed hold of the sides of Sehun’s body and slammed him back against the door before he smashed their lips together.

Nothing was holding him back this time. He went for all of it without a second thought. He kissed Sehun with everything he had. There was no pain. He only felt Sehun’s skin, his warm, supple skin. He only tasted the heat and wetness of Sehun’s mouth.

With one hand gripping a corner of the boy’s waist and the other clutching at Sehun’s hair at the back of his head, Kai caught his lower lip between his teeth and sucked on it until a trembling moan escaped from Sehun’s throat.

This was everything that Kai had ever wanted and _more_. To feel Sehun as he was. And hell, did he feel so good…

And the best part of it all was that Sehun was kissing him back, hands clinging to Kai’s shoulders, body arching into Kai’s, holding onto Kai like his life depended on it. It was everything Kai had dreamed it would be. No. The reality was so much better.

* * *

# C H A P T E R S E V E N

He was going to hell.

And right now, he could care less about it. Because right now, he was kissing Kai and it was all that mattered.

He was not sure when or how they had moved from the door to Kai’s bed. But they were kissing on his bed now, lazily, more experimentally.

Kai’s bed smelled like him. Sehun was practically basking in the boy’s scent, taking it all in. Kai’s kisses were not as desperate and hungry as they were an hour ago. Yes, they must have been kissing at least for slightly more than an hour. Sehun’s lips were throbbing, but he did not want to stop. He could not stop.

Kai’s lips were almost as warm as Sehun’s now. Or Sehun’s were as cold as Kai’s. Their hands constantly kept moving on each other’s bodies, looking for new skin to touch, a new inch to explore.

Sehun had never seen Kai so… boyish. Like a proper twenty-year-old boy in his undershorts, messy hair, ready to snog the living daylights out of Sehun on his bed.

The world was already darkening outside. The candles were melting away. Sehun’s mouth tasted more like Kai’s saliva than his own. He liked it. God, he liked everything about it.

He liked the way Kai’s hair felt when he ran his fingers through it. He liked how Kai’s hands trembled every time they would touch a new part of Sehun’s body. And he absolutely loved the way Kai pulled him close to his own body until there was no space left between them.

When he slipped his hand into Kai’s shirt and drew his fingers along the solid, taut muscles of his abdomen, Kai groaned softly against Sehun’s lips.

Sehun had never surprised himself as much as he had in the last few days. Even if he were bewitched, he was beginning to think that it did not matter. Not when Kai was kissing him like this, like there was no tomorrow.

He had always found Kai attractive. There was absolutely nothing unattractive about him. Apart from his jerk attitude toward Sehun. But if that was just a façade, then they must have wasted all these years trying to be each other’s enemy.

Sehun did not think that he had it in him to loathe a boy with no reason just because he was a vampire. All this while, he had simply used that as an excuse to make his hate seem more justifiable. Or maybe he really did hate Kai because he was a vampire. But that had changed now, hadn’t it?

He was kissing a vampire boy and loving it.

It was not until Sehun slid his hand a little higher under Kai’s shirt to stroke his toned chest when Kai abruptly pulled back, breaking the kiss with a sharp breath.

“I can’t,” he said. Sehun blinked at him, withdrawing his hand from Kai’s shirt.

“Did I do something wrong?” he asked worriedly.

“No, no,” Kai said quickly and propped himself up on his elbow. He looked pale and like he was suffocating. “I’m… I’m just hungry.”

“Oh,” Sehun let out. He then sat up and straightened his own shirt, realizing it had risen up to his belly. Clearing his throat, he said, “Do you want to… go get something to eat? I can tell Justus to make you something.”

Kai sat up with him and scratched the back of his head. “I don’t think… you’d want to watch me… eat.”

Sehun smiled. God, for the first time since he was a child, he smiled at Kai. And Kai gawked at it like he had seen something extraordinary. “You want to drink blood.”

Kai nodded embarrassedly. “I haven’t had any all day, and you are making it difficult for me to focus. Especially now that you are… in my bed.”

Sehun wrapped his arms around his legs and blushed. “So, if you don’t go and feed now, you would… bite _me_?”

He had meant it as a joke, but Kai’s face paled even more. “I won’t,” he said, guiltily as if he had already bitten Sehun.

“Can I be a vampire if you bit me?”

Kai snorted at that. “No. That is another one of the stupid myths.”

Sehun blinked. “Then how did you…”

“I was born to a vampire.”

“Yeah, but how did your father become a vampire?”

Kai sucked in a breath. “The vampires originated from a clan. Centuries ago. We don’t really know how. But maybe from evolution.”

Sehun arched his eyebrows. “Evolution?”

“Yeah. Scientific evolution.”

“What’s that?”

Kai looked away. “Just some explanation for how we all came to be and how we evolve, written by scholars who explore _science_ and not by some voodoo witch doctors.”

Sehun felt stupid asking those questions because he knew that he would not understand even if Kai tried to explain it to him. Kai was just so well-read and knowledgeable.

“Anyway,” Kai sighed, climbing out of the bed to wander over to his wardrobe. “Our vampirism is passed on to our children. You cannot just _turn_ someone into a vampire.”

“So, it’s like a curse?”

Kai fished out a pair of pants and pulled them over his undershorts. “I don’t really believe in curses and prophecies.”

Sehun looked at him confusedly. “But you are a _vampire_. How can you not believe in those things?”

“Because I don’t have to,” was his curt answer.

Sehun pushed himself up from the bed half-heartedly (because it was the softest thing he had ever set upon) and made his way to the corner of the room where his cross was lying at after Kai had hurled it away, tearing it from Sehun’s neck.

Picking it up, he held it up. “If you do not believe in such things, then why can’t you touch this?” he asked Kai.

Kai shrugged, tucking his shirt sloppily into the front of his trousers. “Why are people allergic to poison ivy?”

Sehun was dumbfounded by that question. “Poison ivies are… poisonous.”

“Not to me.” He shrugged. “Like I said. Evolution. Maybe something about crosses used to creep the hell out of my ancestors. So, my brain and my body react the way it should when I touch one. Like how your body jerks sometimes when you are about to fall asleep. Theories suggest that we do that because our ancestors used to sleep in trees because of predators that prowl in the night. And they are roused every time they are about to fall off the tree.”

Sehun must have looked so confused because Kai started to look back at him sympathetically.

“But I never said that I did not believe in a greater holy existence,” Kai then added with a sigh.

“You mean, God?”

Kai nodded. “Yeah. That guy.”

Sehun grimaced. “And you fear Him?”

“Yeah. Because I’m a vampire. But why do _you_ fear Him?”

Sehun blinked. “I don’t…”

“Isn’t that why you hate vampires? Because your parsons at the chapel told you to? You fear what your God and preachers and holy scriptures tell you.”

Sehun fell silent, realizing that Kai had cornered him good.

Then in a lower voice, Kai asked, “Do you… still hate me?”

That was a cruel question to ask after Sehun had just been spending the last hour snogging him on the bed. “Do you?” Sehun asked instead of answering Kai’s question.

Kai closed the distance between them, but he stopped a few feet away because Sehun was holding the cross in his hand. “I won’t answer that if you are going to hurt my feelings in the end.”

Sehun licked his lips. “I don’t… hate you. And I… don’t want to hurt your feelings.”

A small smile formed on Kai’s lips. “Don’t follow me down to the basement,” he told Sehun, looking like he wanted to lean in for a kiss, but the cross Sehun was holding between them was holding him back.

Once he was gone, Sehun remained still in the dark bedroom for a moment, collecting himself, grinning like an idiot. He had never lied on a bed with anyone and made out like that. He had not even touched Marie the way he had touched Kai today. And no one had ever touched him the way Kai had either.

* * *

He roused early the next morning. He had not been able to see Kai after his visit to Kai’s bedroom yesterday because Justus and Alicja had needed him to run a hundred errands. He continued on with the rest of the day in a complete daze, reminiscing every single one of Kai’s touches.

He washed and clothed himself before he combed his hair and wended his way out of the house, leaving the cross at home. It was the first time in years he was going out without putting it on. If it were causing Kai pain, he did not want to wear it. Especially if he wanted to heighten the chance of Kai kissing him when they met.

He was surprised to see Kai up and about in the kitchen, making conversation with Justus.

“There you are,” said Justus when Sehun walked into the kitchen. Kai sank a bite into an apple and smirked in Sehun’s way from where he leaned against the kitchen table, clad in his sharp black shirt and trousers.

“Why? Did you need me?” Sehun asked, gulping as he turned to Justus.

“Master Kai still has his heart set on the cloudberry pie. So, go up to the woods and get some berries!” Justus yapped at him. “And if you come back emptyhanded again, I will feed you to the wolves.”

Sehun sighed. “All right.”

“I’ll go with you,” Kai then said, surprising Justus. Sehun, on the other hand, began to blush like a teenage girl.

“That won’t be necessary, Master,” said the cook.

“I need the stretch, anyway.” Kai tossed the apple out the window and walked over to Sehun. “Shall we?”

* * *

They waited until they had wandered deep enough into the forest to get their hands on each other. It was so romantic. So thrilling. Sehun had never felt more alive.

With his back pinned to a tree and hands buried in Kai’s lustrous hair, he kissed the boy slowly and passionately. Kai’s own hands were latched on Sehun’s waist, occasionally pulling Sehun’s body close to his own.

God, they kissed a lot.

“We should also pick some cloudberries,” Sehun murmured against Kai’s mouth at one point. “I do not want to face Justus’ wrath by going back with an empty basket again.”

Kai groaned and crushed Sehun’s lips under his once more, deepening the kiss before he pulled away with an annoyed grunt. Sehun smiled coyly, cheeks warm with embarrassment.

“Fine,” Kai huffed. “Let’s pick some berries.”

Sehun trudged after Kai, who started looking for some cloudberries immediately. Finding a bunch, he tossed them into the basket before Sehun wandered away from him to pluck some more.

“Your father is not home, is he?” asked Sehun.

“No,” Kai answered, crouching to the ground beside Sehun to help him pick the berries.

“Is he… a half-vampire like you?”

“No. I won’t be a _half-_vampire if he were one, would I? I’d be a quarter-vampire.”

Sehun chuckled at that. He had never chuckled at anything Kai said before. This was… nice. “Yeah, I suppose.”

Kai smiled back at him. “What about you?” he asked.

“Are you asking if my father is a half-vampire?”

“You know what I mean,” Kai muttered. “I don’t know… anything about you except that Alicja is your grandaunt.”

“Unlucky, right?”

Kai laughed then. He had a pleasant laugh. “Yes. Very.”

Sehun sighed and rose back to his full height. “But at least she took me in when I had no one. My mother died from a flu and my father… well, I don’t know who he is. I never met him. He left my mother when she was pregnant with me.”

Kai stood up and frowned at him.

“No,” Sehun said. “You don’t have to be sorry for me. It’s all right.”

Sticking his hands into his pockets, Kai ran his tongue over his lips. “I don’t know my mother either,” he admitted. “She died giving birth to me.”

Sehun felt his heart drop. “I… didn’t know.”

Kai shrugged. “You could not have.”

“It must not have been easy for you growing up,” Sehun murmured, looking away sadly for a moment.

“That’s why I grew up to be such a prick,” Kai scoffed.

“I’m serious,” said Sehun, pinning Kai with a desolate look. “I know it wasn’t for me.”

“I never knew her, Sehun,” said Kai. “I don’t know what she was like. I don’t even know if she would have liked me. So, I’m not that upset about it.”

“Then why tell me about her?”

Kai pulled a hand out of his pocket to rub the back of his neck. “Because I want you to know about me, too.”

Sehun did not know if Kai had any idea of how charming he sounded sometimes. Were all vampires this charming when they wanted to be? Or was it just Kai?

They sat down under a tree a while later and kissed some more. Then they ate some cloudberries and kissed again.

“So, you can live on both human food and blood,” Sehun said when they pulled back for some air. Or at least Sehun had to.

“I need them both,” Kai replied. “So, it’s not a _‘can’_ situation. It’s a must. But I can go longer without human food nowadays.”

Sehun frowned. “Does that mean you are becoming more vampire now?”

“Maybe. When we reach a certain point in life, our human cells begin to die faster than they can regenerate. So, that is when our vampire cells can thrive. Ergo, the hunger for more blood.”

“Sounds so… science-y,” Sehun mumbled. He did not know much about science. It was still very new to the world.

“I know,” Kai sighed and cupped Sehun’s face again before he kissed him. “Does that… frighten you?”

Sehun shook his head. “You are not as bad as I thought you were,” he admitted with a sheepish grin. Then he frowned. “Your father… He still drinks human blood, then?”

Kai looked away for a moment and nodded. “Yeah. He has to.”

“Do you have any other relatives?”

Kai nodded again. “My grandparents. I only know my dad’s, though. I never met my mother’s parents. I have uncles, aunts, and a lot of cousins. Some of them are about to have their children, too. It’s a whole new generation.”

“Wow,” Sehun let out. “You have a pretty big family.”

“I only get to see them all once a year.”

“Is that where you go every Winter Solstice?”

Kai bowed his head. “To Rogaena. It’s so beautiful out there.” He gently caressed Sehun’s cheekbone with his fingers, smiling tenderly. “I would like to take you there some day.”

Sehun would have melted if that had been possible as he leaned into Kai’s touch. “I’ve never been anywhere since I came to Caerdorne.”

“Would you… go with me?”

Sehun gazed into Kai’s eyes, longingly, hungrily. “Yes,” he whispered, even if he was not sure if he would actually do it when it came down to it.

Kai leaned in and brushed their lips together. It had only been a few days of kissing and getting to know one another, and they were already making promises. Sehun dreaded that it could be ominous.

“Are you allergic to garlic?”

Kai pulled back and blinked at Sehun a few times before he broke into a guffaw. “Is that another of the things they taught you at the chapel?”

Sehun felt idiotic. He had gone to a school and yet he was fed with a lot of useless, inane knowledge. “I just… read it somewhere.”

Kai smiled and shook his head. “A wise man once told me… not everything written down is accurate.” He pressed a kiss to Sehun’s forehead. He had not done that before, and it felt so soft. Sehun liked it. “I love garlic. Especially roasted.”

“Okay.”

They kissed a bit more before they decided to head back home before Justus could start calling for a search party, thinking that Kai had eaten Sehun in the woods.

That afternoon, Sehun went up to Kai’s bedroom with two warm, sweet-smelling cloudberry pies. They sat on Kai’s bed and ate heartily until their stomachs were full. Kai caught Sehun’s hand at one point and brought it to his lips to suck the blob of jam from Sehun’s thumb. For one minute, Sehun froze and gawked at Kai unblinkingly, as if it were the obscenest thing he had ever witnessed. It was. And then the next, they tumbled onto the bed together and started kissing, hands seeking each other’s body out.

“You always smell so good,” Sehun told Kai as the evening darkness seeped into the room. It was something he wanted to tell Kai. He did not know why. He told Kai so many things today without knowing its relevance. But Kai seemed to be delighted by every one of them.

“_I_ smell good?” Kai muttered, shifting his head slightly on the pillow. They had been lying there for a while now, just facing each other and talking about pointless things. It felt like they were catching up with each other after all these years. “You are the one who smells like…”

He trailed off, looking embarrassed.

“I smell like what?” Sehun asked in a shaky breath.

Kai bit his lip for a beat. “Like… blood limes and magnolias.”

Sehun would have leaned in and kissed him if he had been able to. But he stared at Kai instead, eyes full of stars. “I smell like blood limes and magnolias to you?”

Kai nodded.

“I… don’t know what they smell like,” Sehun admitted.

Kai chuckled. “They smell wonderful. Don’t worry.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“What do… I smell like to you?” asked Kai.

Sehun snuggled a little closer. “Like your cologne and your fancy soaps.”

Kai laughed and nuzzled into Sehun’s neck. Giggling, Sehun wrapped his arms around Kai.

“Kai,” he called at length.

Lifting his head, Kai met his gaze and said, “Yes.”

“I hope I am not… offending you by asking this,” Sehun said quietly. “But do you… really not look at Marie because you wanted her?”

Kai did not seem upset by that question. He shook his head. “How could I look at her when I only had eyes for you?”

God, Sehun was apparently such a sucker for boys who said things like that… He lunged in and kissed Kai full on the lips.

“Now can I ask _you_ a question?” Kai mumbled into the kiss.

Sehun pulled back. “What is it?” He was giddy from all the kissing and touching. And yet, he wanted more.

Kai looked down at Sehun’s feet. “Why do you always wear socks? And not shoes?”

That was a strange question. No one had ever asked Sehun that. No one had ever cared about such a thing. No one even noticed that he wore socks everywhere.

“Oh,” he murmured, lifting his socked foot and settling it on Kai’s leg. “Because my toes get cold. My shoes are not that thick. Wearing them is the same as walking around in just socks. So, I don’t. I’d rather save them for when I’m going out.”

Kai sat up and stared at Sehun’s feet now. “Your… toes get cold.”

Sehun propped himself up on his elbows, wriggling his toes in the socks. “Yeah. Why?”

Kai was smiling to himself. “Nothing.”

* * *

He felt like he was losing his mind. His bed, his room, his clothes, even his own body smelled like Sehun now. He had gotten so used to Sehun’s warmth in the last few days that it was making it so difficult for him to go a minute without having Sehun in his space.

He was madly in love. Hell, he had fallen in too deep now. And there was no coming back.

He considered telling Alicja and Justus to leave Sehun be, so that he could take the boy up to his room and do the things he wanted to do to him in private. But he knew they had to be discreet. He would rather be careful than have everything fall apart when they had only just begun.

So, while Sehun was off running errands for the servants, Kai distracted himself at the library, where Lada was awaiting him with a sour lour etched to her face.

“You hadn’t come down for your lessons in days, Kai,” she pointed out as he took his seat at the table.

“I didn’t feel like it,” he answered blatantly.

Her gaze turned sharp. “Your father will be disappointed.”

“He is not here.”

Lada huffed. “I do not mean your skipping lessons.”

Kai looked up at her with narrowed eyes. “I do not understand what you mean.”

She lowered her head and casually picked out a book from the pile that was sitting in the chair next to her. “I know what you have been up to, running off to the woods with that human servant boy. And I know what _he_ has been up to, freely going up to your room as he wishes.”

Kai clenched his teeth. He did not say anything, though. Because he did not know what to say.

His governess glanced up at him with a raised brow. “I suggest you end this fling of yours before it gets serious. Or you will be making it difficult for yourself and the boy.”

It was not a fling. And it had always been serious for Kai. But he did not tell Lada that because he did not have to.

“Now, let’s get on with your lessons,” she said as if she did not have another minute of her time to spare for this matter.

* * *

Kai brooded on what his governess had told him for the rest of the day. It was not as though he did not already it himself before she told him. But he had deliberately been avoiding thinking of the consequences of what he and Sehun were doing. Nevertheless, no matter the risk, Kai was determined to face it all for Sehun’s sake. Even if it meant letting down all of the existing generations of vampires. They could not force Kai to fulfil the prophecy, could they?

If he wanted to marry Sehun and have babies with him, then that was Kai’s right. Not that he had thought a lot about making babies with Sehun yet.

He swallowed at the thought. Had Sehun thought of anything of that sort? Not babies, but the… process. The process Kai had once been so curious about.

He went down to the basement later during the day to catch some rats. He did not want to go hungry and stop Sehun mid-snogging to go and replenish himself in case Sehun came up to his room later.

Once he was full enough to blush, he wended his way out of the basement and started for the courtyard to see if Sehun would be there. It seemed silly to waste their time on swordplay when they could be duelling with their mouths upstairs in Kai’s room.

He did not find Sehun in the courtyard. So, he went up to his room.

He glanced at the dusty fireplace for a moment. He should ask Justus to bring up some firewood later. He had never started a fire in the fireplace in his room before, but he would do it for Sehun.

He did not want Sehun’s toes to get cold.

As he unlaced his trousers, he gazed out the foggy window of his bedroom and was surprised when he caught a sight of Sehun in the backyard.

And Marie.

They were holding each other’s hands. Marie looked like she was crying. Sehun, on the other hand, looked like he was struggling to speak. And then Marie hugged him, burying her face in Sehun’s chest. After a moment of hesitance, Sehun enveloped his arms around her as well.

Then after a long embrace, Sehun pulled back and said something to Marie, which made her reach up and kiss Sehun on the mouth. Though the kiss took Sehun by surprise, he did not pull away from it.

Kai looked away from the window and flumped on his bed. He did not move or breathe for a while, staring at the murals on the wall before him. He then hung his head, heartbrokenly, and dropped his face in his hands. There was nothing that he could do to stop the tears that stung his eyes in that moment.

* * *

# C H A P T E R E I G H T

Sehun was lost in his thoughts while he trimmed the thorn bushes in the backyard. The shears in his hands were mostly idle as he continued to grin at nothing like a madman. Perhaps he had gone mad after all.

As much as he wanted to be done with his chores as swiftly as possible so that he could sneak up to Kai’s bedroom, he found it difficult to concentrate and to get his limbs to cooperate with him. His headspace was full of butterflies, sparkles and clouds.

Even though he was quite satisfied with the kisses and cuddles, he could not help his mind that wandered into the room of obscenities. He had never… done _it_ before. He never even tried to do it with Marie. He thought that they should just wait until they were married. Besides, they did not have the facilities to make it happen.

But Kai had a room. And he had a huge bed that could fit at least five people. His room also had the privacy they needed. Sehun could tell that Kai wanted it, too. The only thing that was holding Kai back was the fear of overstepping the boundaries Sehun might have set for them.

The truth was… Sehun had not set any boundaries. Not for this. Not for Kai.

Right now, Sehun was thinking about how it happened between two boys. Not that it was uncommon or anything. But he had always pictured himself with Marie, so he never bothered to learn about how it worked with another boy. Perhaps Kai knew. Sehun would happily let him take the reins.

God, he wanted to stop thinking about this. Shaking his head, he returned his attention to the pruning shears and the bushes before he looked up at Marie, who was approaching him with a sullen look on her face.

He had not seen her in days. She looked miserable.

“Sehun,” she said, stopping before him. She tried to smile, but the smile faltered immediately. “How… have you been?”

Sehun did not answer. Mostly because he was thinking about how funny and cruel fate was. Here Marie was, breaking Sehun’s heart, thinking that Kai wanted her. While Kai was too busy memorizing what the inside of Sehun’s mouth was like with his tongue.

Sehun wanted to tell her that she was barking up the wrong tree, pinning hopes onto something that was never going to happen. Well, maybe it could still happen. But he doubted that she would still want Kai if she knew he had been snogging her former lover.

“What’s wrong, Marie?” he asked instead of giving her the cold shoulder. She looked upset about something.

She did not answer for a while as she hung her head, golden locks falling over her face. “Can we… get back together?”

Sehun stared at her. “What?”

Raising her head, she let her tears fall from her eyes, streaking her cheeks. “I want you back. I think we should… pick up where we left off.”

Sehun was not even sure if he had heard her right. “But… you like Kai. Remember? You dumped me for him.”

“It was a mistake,” she said desperately. “I was so foolish.”

She got that part right.

“I was just flattered by the idea of him… loving me and taking me for a wife,” she said. That thought made Sehun’s shudder. He had loathed the idea of Marie and Kai together before because he had wanted her. But now, the same idea sickened him because he wanted _Kai._

Funny thing. Fate.

Sehun flinched when Marie grabbed his hands and held them in hers. “He is ignoring me,” she said, crying. “I have tried to talk to him, but he tells me to go away. I have made a mistake. Sehun, I want to be with you.”

Sehun looked at her sharply then. “Until Kai tells you that he wants you to be his?” he said. Marie’s eyes turned redder. “And then you will toss me away again. Marie, you do not love me.”

She gulped and looked desperate for a moment. She then threw her arms around Sehun and said, “I do. Remember? We will get married and leave this city.”

Sehun felt sorry for her. Sorry because she was still so immature and clueless. He hugged her back, nonetheless, because she was hurting and confused and still his friend. She had been there at times when no one else was there for him.

Pulling back from the embrace, Sehun said, “The thing is… I don’t think… I love you, Marie.”

She blinked at him for a stretch, shocked and bewildered. Then as though she had run out of options, she launched herself onto Sehun and kissed him.

Sehun could not believe how alien her lips felt now. No sparks, no nothing. Her kiss did nothing to Sehun’s heart and body. Not the way Kai’s kiss did.

Shit. He had fallen for Kai. Completely. And hopelessly.

“Marie,” he grunted, grabbing her arms to tear her off him. “Please. Get over yourself.”

She seemed lost.

“You must do better than this,” Sehun told her. “Next time, when you find someone you love, hold onto that person and don’t treat them like they mean nothing. I would still like for us to be friends. But I cannot… get back together with you. I don’t want to.”

“You don’t… want to?” she let out, wiping the tears from her cheeks. “Why not?”

“Because… we are not a good match, Marie.” He took her hands again. They were cold, but not as cold as Kai’s. “I hope… you do find someone to love. Truly.”

With that, he let her go and picked up the shears again. Marie stood there for a few more seconds before she turned and ran home in tears. Sehun sighed.

Had he made a mistake? He had always believed that Marie was his future. Now that he had turned her away, he did not know what his future was anymore.

And maybe that was for the better.

Once he was done with his chores, he quickly washed himself and jumped into something lighter like a nightshirt and some pants and socks before he hurried up to Kai’s bedroom.

He knocked on it like he always did and waited for Kai to get the door. He wondered what boundaries they would cross with each other this time. What things they would talk about.

He knocked again when Kai did not answer. It was not that late. Kai could not have gone to sleep. And the basement was locked, Sehun had checked before he came up here. And he was sure Kai was not at the library or anywhere else. He would be in his room because he was expecting Sehun to come over.

But he did not answer.

Or maybe he really was not in there.

Sehun waited in the hallway for nearly an hour for Kai. But he did not show up. Disappointed, he left.

* * *

Kai did not have it in him to confront Sehun right now. So, he lay there in silence while Sehun waited for him outside his door. Eventually, the boy left.

_Why make those promises if you are going to break them this fast, Sehun…_

* * *

“The alchemists of Agell were the first in the world to discover…” Lada stopped to fix Kai with a severe look. “You are not paying attention.”

“I am,” Kai said dully.

“Has something happened?”

“Since when do you care?” Kai scoffed.

His governess straightened in her seat. “You are right. I do not and I should not. But your father left you in my responsibility.”

“My father did not leave me in anyone’s responsibility.” Kai rolled his eyes. “I am twenty years old. They want me to get married and sire children already. I do not need a nagging governess breathing down my neck.”

Lada crossed her arms over her chest. “Perhaps. But I still have my orders. So, pay attention, or leave and don’t come back until you have found your concentration again.”

Kai stood up and walked out of the library. He could not bother. Not right now. Not since he saw Sehun with Marie. It had been two days since that incident, and Kai had been avoiding Sehun painstakingly. And it was the hardest thing he had ever done.

* * *

Sehun waited at the courtyard instead of going up to Kai’s room to look for him again. The last nine times he had done it in the (just within the two days), Kai had not answered. According to Justus, however, Kai did come down to have lunch.

Sehun was sure it was just some groundless paranoia when he entertained the idea of Kai deliberately ignoring him.

He hugged his knees to his chest, seated on the bench, hoping, _praying_ that Kai would show up today. But he did not. Not even as the night began to darken the world.

Sehun quickly wiped away the tears that welled up in his eyes. It was stupid. He was overthinking this.

But what if… he wasn’t? What if Kai really was avoiding him?

Left with no other option, Sehun went up to Kai’s room again and knocked on the door, a sob clambering its way up in his throat.

Kai did not answer.

Swallowing hard, Sehun splayed a hand on the door and muttered, “I know you’re in there.” He took in a shaky breath. “I don’t know what I did to make you… ignore me… or why you don’t want to see me. But… can you… _please_… open the door?”

His words came out as nothing but whispers toward the end as tears brimmed in his eyes.

“Don’t just… stay silent.”

He did not know why this was affecting him so much. Up until a couple of weeks ago, Kai was just an evil Sehun wanted defeat. But right now, all of the muscles in his body felt weak, making it tough for him to even stand up. He had to know why Kai was doing this.

Was this what Kai had wanted to happen? Was this a part of his plot? To make Sehun miserable? Because it was clearly working. Sehun was miserable, confused and begging at Kai’s door.

“I’m sorry,” Sehun whispered at last before he stepped away. “if I had done something wrong.”

He apologized because something felt like this had all been his fault. That he had somehow offended Kai. How did he come to this point where he just accepted that Kai was not plotting anything against him?

With a heavy heart, Sehun turned around and was about to leave when the door behind him opened. Drawing a deep breath, Sehun turned and faced Kai.

Kai met his eyes immediately and frowned. The tears must have turned Sehun’s eyes red and pathetic.

Sehun stood in the hallway, wondering if Kai would ask him to come in.

“Why are you here?” Kai asked instead.

Sehun fumbled for words then. He was certain that Kai knew why he was here. So, the question was quite frankly hurtful.

“I thought you and… Marie have patched things up.”

Sehun’s jaw fell. “What?” he blurted out stupidly.

Kai blinked at him. “I saw you,” he said, sounding more miserable than Sehun was. “You two were… holding hands and… kissing.”

Oh, thank God, that was all it was about!

“No,” Sehun exhaled, a tear rolling down his cheek. “No. We are not… back together.”

“Could have fooled me,” scoffed Kai. “I get it. You and Marie. I get it.”

Sehun felt helpless for a moment, unable to handle the way Kai was so cold to him all of a sudden. “There is no me and Marie,” Sehun spat, rushing forward.

Kai stepped back into the room as Sehun let himself in and slammed the door shut behind him.

“Kai,” he rasped, hands flying up to grab Kai by the shirt. “There is _no_ me and Marie. I told her no. She wanted me back, but I told her no.”

He did not understand why he was crying, but he was. Crying and snivelling like a child.

“What?” Kai said.

“It’s you and me,” Sehun mewled out, gasping. “I want it… to be you and me.”

Kai raised his hands to Sehun’s cheeks then. Sehun leaned into the cold touch, lips brushing against Kai’s thumb. “Really?”

Sehun nodded his head, looking at Kai through his clumped, wet eyelashes. “I want… _you_, Kai.”

He could not believe that he had just said those words.

* * *

Those were the only words Kai needed to hear from Sehun right now. He gently took Sehun’s chin in his hand and drew him forward until their lips met in a soft kiss. A soft, wet kiss.

Cupping the back of Sehun’s head, Kai kissed the tears lacing the boy’s warm lips when Sehun parted them to take in a breath.

And then they pulled back to gaze into each other’s eyes for a moment, both seeking the same answer, the same affirmation. Once they had found it, they stopped to blush at one another. Yes, even Kai was blushing.

Neither of them knew what to do next now that they knew that they wanted the same thing.

Licking his lips, Kai sat down on his bed and leered at Sehun from head to his socked feet.

The boy looked away bashfully, rubbing an arm with a hand. Then turning his attention back to Kai, he stepped forward and took hold of Kai’s shoulders before he brought his knees up to the bed to kneel on either side of Kai.

“Is this… okay?” asked Sehun worriedly.

Kai panted out a heavy, trembling breath, lifting his hands to Sehun’s hips. “Yes,” he whispered, lowering Sehun down to sit on his lap. He then tilted his head and leaned in before brushing a kiss on Sehun’s neck.

He felt the boy shudder against him. “Kai,” Sehun whimpered out, drawing his hands along Kai’s shoulders until they were lightly clinging to the back of Kai’s neck.

“Are we… really doing this?” Kai asked just for one last confirmation, so that he was not misreading the situation.

Sehun nodded nervously, his cheeks crimsoned and hot to the touch. Kai placed a kiss on both of them before he pressed another on Sehun’s forehead. He held Sehun’s face tenderly as he brushed his lips on the spot beneath Sehun’s soft, plump lower lip.

Then withdrawing a little, he tugged at the laces of Sehun’s shirt, one by one, taking his time with it. He had never seen this part of Sehun. Hell, he had not seen a whole lot of Sehun yet.

Sehun’s chest was smooth, as white as milk as the rest of his body. His protruding collarbones were so tempting. A bite mark right there would look so good, Kai thought. He leaned in and kissed Sehun on his collarbone before he planted another kiss on his neck.

Though he did not take the shirt off Sehun, he pushed it aside and let it sag by the boy’s sharp shoulders. His nipples were a deep shade of pink and a faint brown. Kai looked up at Sehun breathlessly.

The boy gulped. Kai kissed his Adam’s apple and gently sucked on it until a moan broke from it. He smiled to himself. Sehun tasted so good. Every part of him was sweet, warm, and all up for Kai to savour right now.

And the way Sehun was just submitting himself over to Kai… He was going to have Kai at his feet, worshipping him at the end of it all. And Kai was going to be the happiest man alive.

Grappling his arms around Sehun, Kai lifted him and laid him down on the bed. Sehun shifted so that he was comfortable under Kai, his bare chest rising and falling laboriously.

Kai placed a kiss on the sternum of Sehun’s chest as he straddled the boy.

“Take your shirt off, too,” Sehun whimpered out, hands already yanking Kai’s shirt out of his pants.

Straightening up, Kai quickly undid the first few laces before he pulled it over his head and discarded it to the floor.

It was Sehun’s turn to leer at Kai’s body as he slowly walked his hand down Kai’s chest, licking his anxiously smiling lips. Kai curled his own hand over Sehun’s and drew it all the way down to lower part of his abdomen while keeping his own gaze fixated on the flat plans of Sehun’s belly. Kai wanted to find out if it felt as soft as it looked, so he bowed down and placed a few kisses Sehun’s belly. It was. Soft.

Sehun squirmed and gasped at those kisses, hand flying up to grab Kai’s hair at the back of his head.

Then crawling back up, Kai kissed him on the lips. Long and hard while their bare bodies rubbed against one another. Kai’s cold, Sehun’s delightfully warm.

The moon was full and bright tonight. She shed her light generously through the window. And Kai kissed everywhere the moonlight touched on Sehun’s body.

They sat up once more to clumsily undo the laces of their own trousers. When Sehun reached for his socks, Kai caught his hand.

“You should keep them on,” he said with a loving smile. Sehun blinked at him. “I don’t want your toes to get cold.”

Sehun stared at him strangely for one moment, and the next, threw his arms around Kai and pulled him back down for a hungry kiss. “Don’t say sweet things like that,” he mewled against Kai’s mouth. “It makes me… so warm and fuzzy and embarrassed.”

Kai grinned. “I want you to be happy. I want to make you happy. I care about you. I care about your happiness, your wellbeing, your safety, your heart… your toes. If you were mine, I promise to treat you like a prince. _My_ prince. Always and forever.”

“Things like that!” Sehun groaned, hiding his face in the crook of Kai’s neck. “When you say such things, my heart feels like it’s going to explode.”

Kai splayed a hand on Sehun’s chest and whispered, “I know.”

“Just shut up and kiss me already,” Sehun squealed, like he was not going to get used to these flatteries anytime soon. Kai planned on showering him with more of them as much as he could.

Sehun’s skin was burning against Kai’s. It was like bringing a finger very close to a candleflame. Kai let Sehun unlace the rest of his trousers while he focused on kissing the boy. His breath was hitching, his blood swimming in the pit of his stomach. He groaned and lowered himself between Sehun’s thighs.

“Ouch,” Sehun gasped all of a sudden, and Kai pulled back.

“What is it?”

Sehun raised his fingers to his lower lip and brushed it, jutting it out like a baby. “It was your teeth.”

Kai had not realized that his fangs were showing, pushed out a little. Just a little. Sehun was gawking at them like they were the prettiest things he had ever seen. Kai withdrew them.

“Sorry.”

Sehun ran his tongue along the lip and said, “That’s okay.”

He had never done this with anyone before. So, he was not sure what to expect. He seriously hoped that he would not unknowingly hurt Sehun in any way.

They kissed a bit more before Kai knelt up and started to climb out of the bed so that he could get rid of his pants.

Sehun already looked like he was a mess. Kai liked looking at him like this. Dishevelled on his bed, tangled in a mesh of rumpled clothes. He pushed himself up on an elbow and watched Kai while he lowered the trousers before stepping out of them.

Then he quickly averted his gaze.

Kai slid back into the bed and mounted him. Cupping Sehun’s cheek, he made the boy look back at him. “Don’t look away, okay?”

Sehun exhaled shakily. Kai gave him a kiss on the lips before he went down on him, leaving a trail of kiss behind on his body. He stopped to latch his mouth around Sehun’s nipples, wetting them with his tongue and sucking them gently.

Sehun’s body arched off the bed, hands clawing at Kai’s shoulders. “Kai,” he moaned as Kai’s tongue swirled around one of his pebbled nipples. “Your teeth,” he breathed out again.

“Sorry,” Kai muttered once more, retracting his fangs. Sehun was smiling to himself as he dropped his head back and tangled his fingers in Kai’s hair as Kai slithered lower, peppering his stomach with kisses.

He supposed he felt the same way as he did when he was ravenous, craving for blood. His body was telling him to take the prey before him. And Kai was planning to do just that. Just not by sucking the blood out of Sehun.

He licked along Sehun’s waistlines, fingers hooked around the band of the trousers. Sehun lifted his head again and watched Kai with bated breath as he drew the trousers down and started kissing Sehun all over his creamy-white thighs.

With his knees up and heels planted firmly into the mattress, Sehun broke into moans, clutching at the sheets and shirt that was still clinging to his arms while Kai kissed him everywhere but where he needed to feel Kai’s mouth the most.

Kai had always lusted after the parts of Sehun that were all pink. And now that Sehun was completely bared before him, his mouth turned dry, just looking at all the parts of him that were rosy red.

When he finally wrapped his mouth around where Sehun wanted him to, the boy sucked in a sharp breath, eyes rolling to the back of his eyes. He was hot and pulsating in Kai’s mouth, hardening by the second.

Writhing and whimpering, Sehun chanted Kai’s name like a prayer. Then pulling back, Kai knelt up and grabbed hold of Sehun’s thigh before he pressed their crotches together, wanting to know what the friction would feel like. It was brain-numbingly fantastic.

Then he leaned forward to kiss Sehun ravenously, sliding his hips back and forward, rubbing their hardening shafts together. Their sweating bodies were pressed tightly together while Kai’s lips muffled Sehun’s moans. Then breaking the kiss, Kai panted, “Can I…?”

Sehun only nodded his head before he yanked Kai down to kiss him again. Kai kept their lips occupied while he blindly reached for the oil he kept in his bedside drawer. He only ever used it whenever he needed to wank off to the thoughts of Sehun before.

He knew that no matter what, this was going to cause Sehun some discomfort. He had done his reading on this topic enough to know. No amount of preparation was going to make this completely easy. Still, he wanted to try and make Sehun more relaxed. He did not want to do anything that would catch the boy off guard.

Pulling away from the kiss, Kai said, “This might hurt.”

“I know,” Sehun replied, panting. “I know. I’ll be… all right.”

“You’ve never… done this before, have you?”

Sehun blushed ferociously at that. “I think you would know by now if I had.”

Kai chewed on his lip for a moment. “Okay.”

He started to sit up, but Sehun pulled him back. “Let’s stay this way,” he said embarrassedly, even though the room was mostly dark.

Kai sighed and agreed. Maybe this would make it easier for them. Less awkward. He dribbled a generous amount of oil onto his fingers before he leaned back down to kiss Sehun. Then bringing the them between Sehun’s legs, he lightly brushed the fingers in the cleft of Sehun’s ass. It was so hot, fuck.

Sehun moaned into Kai’s mouth, arms tightly wound around Kai’s body before he raised his legs and enveloped them around Kai’s waist.

“You’re so soft, Sehun,” Kai whispered. “So warm.”

Sehun mewled once more, shivering as Kai rubbed his puckered opening, smearing the oil all over it. As much as Kai wanted to put his mouth on it and wet it with his spit, find out what Sehun tasted like there, he did not want to push it too far on their first time. He wanted to make Sehun feel comfortable and safe. That was all.

“Will you trust me?” Kai asked him, stroking the rim of muscles with the back of his fingers. Sehun did not look like he could speak, so he weakly nodded, body bathed in sweat, chest heaving.

He curled his lower lip between his teeth and bit on it when Kai slid a finger into him. He immediately clenched around the finger, his insides hotter than any other part of him.

“Relax,” Kai murmured before he claimed Sehun’s lips once more, sliding the finger in and out of Sehun slowly. “Are you all right?”

Sehun nodded, gasping for air. “I’m… all right. I just… I just need to feel… you.”

Hell, this boy was going to kill him.

Kai fingered him slowly and as patiently as he could, even though his own body was aching to be inside the boy already. To feel him on the inside. To make Sehun all his tonight.

When he decided that neither of them could take it any longer, he pulled his fingers out and hastily applied a thick layer of oil onto his hardened, arching member. Sehun locked his ankles at Kai’s back, arms wound around Kai’s shoulders and neck.

“Kai…” he moaned out, pushing Kai to the last inch of his self-control. It was so strange how their bodies knew that they wanted each other. Aligned and in sync.

Kai brushed the tip of his cock against Sehun’s opening, teasing the boy just a little more before he slid in the cockhead. Sehun clenched his eyes and teeth, groaning ferally.

Kai tried to kiss him, but he pressed his face against Kai’s neck instead. “I’m okay,” he said in a breaking voice before Kai could ask him.

With a fist planted into the pillow near Sehun’s head and his other hand stroking Sehun’s thigh, he slowly slid further into Sehun.

“You’re still… too tight,” Kai huffed, forehead resting atop Sehun’s. “Relax.”

“Okay,” Sehun let out as he panted hard, fingernails digging into Kai’s shoulder blades.

Kai brushed his lips against Sehun’s cheek, whispering, “Is it too painful?”

Sehun exhaled a whimper. “No,” he said. “Just… new.”

“Can I move now?”

The boy shook his head. “Not yet.”

Kai remained still for a moment, lying on top of Sehun, buried deep inside him. He laid gentle kisses all over Sehun’s face and neck while he let the boy get used to having Kai inside him. When he was finally ready to go on, he shyly told Kai to move.

Kai kept his thrusts slow and cautious, even though the way Sehun was clenching and throbbing around made it so difficult for him to stay in control. Then as he picked up the pace of his thrusts, Sehun sank his teeth into one of Kai’s shoulders and bit him until his skin there broke.

Kai groaned, gripping Sehun’s hip as he fucked deeper into him. “Sehun,” he said before he kissed Sehun’s lips, tongue diving into the boy’s mouth. Sehun withered into moans, sweat and pleas as he held onto Kai like he never wanted to let go. His body burned, and so did Kai’s for the first time.

* * *

Though they were both completely spent and worn out, they were unable to pull away from each other. Their mouths thrummed with ache as they continued kissing, their bodies and sheets stained with come and sweat. Sehun was now lying on Kai, his leg swung over Kai’s while Kai gripped and fondled his ass.

Every time Kai’s finger would slide down the cleft of his ass and stroke the raw, sore opening, Sehun would shudder and moan into Kai’s mouth.

They were not ready to stop. They were not willing to give each other’s body up so soon.

But Sehun’s body eventually screamed for some rest. So, he broke the lazy, sloppy kiss and looked sleepily into Kai’s eyes before he settled his head on the vampire boy’s arm.

Kai kissed his forehead then. “Where do you get all that stamina from?” Sehun huffed, still panting for air.

Kai chuckled softly, wrapping his arms around Sehun. “Thank all of hell I’m part vampire.”

Sehun hummed against Kai’s neck.

Kai then brought a hand to a side of Sehun’s waist. “Are you feeling… all right?”

Sehun nodded. “I’m just tired and sleepy now.”

It did hurt down there. It hurt the whole time. There really was a fine line between pain and pleasure. Sehun did find some pleasure somewhere in all that pain, though. Especially toward the end when he came all over Kai’s abdomen while Kai came down hard inside him.

The way they had cried each other’s name in that instant… God, Sehun really was going to hell.

His entire body was sore, not just his nether regions. He was not sure if he would be able to walk or sit tomorrow. Maybe he could use that as an excuse to not leave Kai’s bed.

“Can I sleep here tonight?” he asked in a whisper, drawing circles on Kai’s chest with his fingertips.

“I want you to sleep here,” said Kai with a sigh. “I want you to sleep in my bed forever, if that were an option.”

“Is that… not an option?”

Kai raised his head then and blinked. “Would you?”

Sehun lazily looked back at him, falling asleep by the second. “Would I what? Sleep on your bed forever?”

“Yes.”

“Well, would your father allow that?”

Kai frowned at that. “No. I don’t… think so.”

Sehun exhaled heavily and closed his eyes, nestling closer to Kai, even though Kai’s body was cold again.

“But I will make him allow it if you want it.”

Sehun opened his eyes again. “What?”

Kai sat up. Sehun did not bother to sit up as well. He was too exhausted. Kai splayed a hand on Sehun’s belly and said, “Do you… want to be with me?”

That sounded like a love proposal. Sehun swallowed. “In… what way?”

Kai leaned closer so that their faces were only inches apart. “In that way. In every way. In… a romantic way.”

Sehun lifted himself up onto his elbows. “Are you… asking me to be your…”

“I love you, Sehun.”

Sehun stilled. Only his eyes could blink. Even his breathing had gone still.

“I always have,” Kai admitted embarrassedly. “This is not just a fling for me. And if… you give me a chance, I will do right by you this time. I will be everything you want me to be.”

He paused for a moment as a frown furrowed his brows.

“Unless you don’t want to be a vampire,” he added in a quieter voice. “I hope you won’t hold that against me after all… this. I hope what I am will not stop you from… following your heart.”

Sehun drew a hand to Kai’s chest. “You are more than just a vampire, Kai,” he said sincerely. “I am starting to see it now. And I want to… see more of it. I want to see _you_. I want to… be with you, be at your side.”

Kai smiled. Like a child. “I promise. It will always be you and me, Sehun. Always. It will always be… you.”

Cupping a side of Sehun’s face, Kai bowed his head down and kissed him sweetly. “Kai…”

It would be them against the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudos and comments so far ^.^ I'll post Part Two of the story in a couple of days!


	4. Chapter 4

# Part Two

* * *

# C H A P T E R N I N E

The day had started grimly. Each day snuffed out another promise, another silver of hope. Caerdorne was a cursed land, and nothing but wickedness and carnage thrived here. Joy was short-lived. Peace was brief. Warmth was fleeting. Vampires should not even be desiring any of those. But one did. Because it was the only way the love of his life could stay sane. He needed joy, peace, and warmth. Kai could give him none of those.

The preparations for the celebration had been interrupted midway. The invitations were already sent out. Carriages were already heading their way. It was too late to call off the celebration.

A celebration. What it should have been.

But instead, it was yet another day to mourn. To grief.

The last flickers of light had now been stamped out, leaving the old castle to wither in darkness.

He was facing the danger of losing his reason. Of losing his humanity. Each time this grief was brought upon him, he stepped closer to the edge of his wits.

He had been sure this time. They both had been sure. This would be their redemption. It would all be fine from here, they had both believed. Sometimes, belief could take you a long way. Other times, you would be nothing but an overconfident fool for believing. And when it all crashed and burned, it brought a pain like no other.

He had taken more human blood than he ever had in that last whole year just in one day. And still, it had not sated his hunger. Nothing could sate it right now for that he was mourning a loss so great that it suffocated him. In his grief, he mourned for his lover, too. For the grief that he was shouldering as well.

Five years ago, his father had warned him that this would happen. He had been determined then to go against the whole world if he had to in order to be with the one he loved. So, he had told his father that he would take his chances.

_“You will come to regret this, son,”_ his father had warned him. _“Just the way I do.”_

_“I have made a promise to him,”_ Kai remembered arguing back with every might he had. He remembered angry tears clouding his vision. He remembered shouting at his father and knocking over a few vases and candleholders out of frustration. _“I do not care what you think. I do not care what your parents think. I do not care what anyone in the Blackthorne family thinks! I want him. And I will be with him one way or another.”_

His father had understood him, in spite of his disapproval. After all, he had also fallen in love with someone he should not have. He empathized with Kai, but he also did try to warn him of the dreadful fate that awaited him if Kai chose this path.

_“You will alienate your family,”_ he told Kai. _“And you will continue to put the boy in pain.”_

It was the final thing his father had said to him. Because after that fight, he just vanished. He left. He left the castle, he left Caerdorne. And left them all to Kai.

A year later, he had written Kai a letter, expressing his concerns. The news might have reached the others, he had said in his letter. The news of Kai having taken a human lover, just like his father, and refusing to fulfil the prophecy attached to the Blackthorne line.

_“This is what your grandparents had feared,”_ his father said, rubbing his forehead. He had grown much older in the last few years. _“Son, deliberately discountenancing an ancestral prophecy could haunt our bloodline for generations to come.”_

Kai remembered getting so angry to the point he was frothing at his mouth then. _“You must all be a fool to believe in such nonsense!”_ he had yelled at his father. _“There is nothing like that. The books would have recorded it if there was. I will not be the scapegoat to your prophecies. I want to live my own life with whomever that I wish.”_

He had not thought about what it would mean to Sehun. He had not thought that watching the one he loved go through such hideous, grievous pains would eat away at his own humanity, leaving him to cling onto his demons to keep breathing.

And that was all that Kai could do right now to stay sane. To rely on the monster he truly was, so that he would not break.

Still… Sehun was breaking. Right before his eyes, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

They had chosen to come to this point on their own. They had made the decision for themselves. They were willing to accept the risks it entailed. But now that they were _here_, neither of them could bear it.

Every time it happened, it took a greater toll on Kai’s conscience than on Sehun’s. Or perhaps Sehun was better at hiding his grief than Kai was. Perhaps he was better at dealing with it, in spite of him being the one bearing the most pain.

But this time, it was different. This time, they were so close. They were almost there.

And then, all of their hopes and dreams were shattered.

“Master,” someone called. Kai did not react. He could not. He was not sure what time of the day it was. Or even what day it was. He was sitting on the threshold of the little room that was supposed to be occupied by a little bundle of joy in four months.

But now, it was empty and cold. And it would remain that way forever.

Kai had not found the strength to make himself move from the floor he was sitting on, leaning against the doorframe. The blood caking his hands and chin had dried up. There were blood staining his shirt, too. They were not his blood. It was some man’s. A man from the city. Kai did not know his name. He did not familiarize himself with his dinner.

He had vowed to never take a human life. So, he did not. But that did not stop him from lurking in the shadows of the city until he found someone. And he’d suck their blood out, but not to the point where it could kill them. Most of them stayed limp in his grip, shocked and petrified. Once he was done, he would disappear into the shadows again.

He had sworn off human blood a long time ago, yes. For Sehun’s sake. For the reason that he was in love with a human.

But the first incident, the first time he had ever grieved, dragged him into the abyss of bloodlust. He needed it to at least keep him somewhat sane. To slake his thirst. To tame the demon that resided within him.

But tonight, he had almost killed a man. He really wanted to. The only thing that had stopped him in the end from doing it was his heart that told him to go back to his hurting lover right away.

However, when he reached the castle, he found himself wandering to the nursery they had put together. He could not face Sehun right now. He was tired. He did not have the right words to comfort him with. He was a mess, and he was not sure how much of a solace he would be.

After all, when he had tried to approach his lover earlier, Sehun had silently told him to leave him be. He had not even turned around to spare Kai a single look from where he lay on the bed, back facing Kai’s way.

Kai did not want to make him plead in that situation. So, he left, giving Sehun the space he needed. Sometimes, silence was necessary for healing.

“Another carriage has arrived,” said Justus, his voice trembling. When Kai looked up at the servant, he found the man to be gawking at the blood Kai was covered in. “It is another one of your cousins and his family. I tried sending them away as I did with the others as per your order, but they insist on seeing you.”

It had to be Baekhyun. No one else would be so stubborn. Kai swallowed and dropped his head back against the wall for a moment. Then with a sigh, he rose to his feet and said, “Welcome them and see them to their rooms. Tell them I will greet them in the morning.”

“Very well, Master.”

Kai started for the bedroom. He had to get out of these bloody clothes and clean himself. He hoped that Sehun was asleep when he entered the room. He was.

Quietly, Kai stepped into the bathing room and stripped himself down to nothing before he climbed into the tub of water. He did not mind the temperature of the water, especially now. But Sehun liked his bath warm. Just like how he liked the room to always be warm enough for him to sleep next to Kai, who was cold. So, the fireplace was always burning.

Even when the fire died out in the middle of the night, Kai would rise from the bed and build a new one, so that Sehun could sleep comfortably. He made sure that Sehun’s toes were never cold in this castle.

After his father had left the castle to him, Kai had made some changes to make it more homely and intimate for Sehun. At first, it was difficult for Sehun to accept that he now lived in this massive, extraordinary castle. But he slowly grew into it. Just like how he slowly accepted that he was now with a vampire. He changed himself, too. So that they could both live in harmony. They changed for each other. To be better for one another.

Over the years, Kai had made so many efforts to profess his love to Sehun, in so many ways. And he was still doing it. He doubted that he would ever stop. He had promised to treat Sehun like a prince if the boy gave him his heart, and Kai planned on fulfilling that promise until death would do them part.

At least he hoped that they would last for that long.

Every time this happened, Kai dreaded that he was pushing Sehun farther away and they were pulling apart from each other. Every time this happened, he wondered if this would finally be the time that Sehun would leave him.

He could find another. He could find someone like Marie and live a normal life. Kai was not sure if he would even stop Sehun if he wanted to leave him, seeking a life that would bring him less sorrow.

Being with Kai had a price to pay. He did not know just for how much longer Sehun would be able to take it.

Sinking into the tub, Kai leaned back and slowly closed his eyes as the water in the tub turned red, washing away the blood sticking to his skin.

He remembered the time Sehun had approached him in the courtyard after practice one evening. When they were still twelve and innocent. Well, at least Sehun was.

Kai had been tying the laces of his boots, perched on a bench when the boy came up to him, sporting a nervous, shaky smile. His knees were redder than ever. Probably because Kai had made him fall on them countless times today. During one of those times, the boy had even cried. But he had quickly wiped his tears and risen back up to his feet to proceed with the sparring.

_“What do you want?”_ Kai asked him harshly before he could even say anything.

Sehun flinched back, shocked by Kai’s tone, even though it was the only tone Kai had ever used to talk to him. He brought his hands to the front and fidgeted with his fingers anxiously for a moment, chewing on his lower lip until it turned red and swollen.

Then looking up at Kai again, he muttered, _“Can you… be my friend?”_

Kai felt his heart skip a beat. He did not like that feeling. He did not have any friends. And he only got to see his cousins once in a blue moon. Even so, he would not want to make friends with this weak, pinkish, soft human boy. Kai liked to think that he deserved better, and that his friendship had to be earned by those who were deserving. And Sehun was far from deserving.

So, he scoffed and rose from the bench before he eyed Sehun from head to his socked feet with a grimace. _“You wish,”_ he spat before walking away.

He did not know if Sehun had cried after he had left. Probably. He was a little child who was forced to move to a new (creepy) city, and no one was being nice to him. He cried about a lot of things.

Back then, if someone had told Kai that he would be here right now, almost married to that boy he had belittled that day, falling asleep in that boy’s arms nightly, worshipping him like his world revolved around him, Kai would have probably called it nonsense.

He loved Sehun. More than life itself. More than anything. And that was what made it all so much harder to watch him go through this pain. Kai felt inadequate because he could not find a way to stop his lover’s suffering at the moment.

They never should have kept trying. Each time, it was just another brutal stab to their hearts. Kai was now beginning to believe that this situation would only get worse if he gave in to Sehun’s desperation and pleas again.

He did not blame Sehun for anything. Sehun had simply wished for something anyone would. His desires were reasonable and just. Sweet and beautiful. They were his dreams. How could Kai refuse him his dreams? So, he had given in. He kept trying to give Sehun what he wanted. Because it was the promise he had made. But he could not pin the blame on Sehun. If anything, Kai blamed himself for the tragedy that had occurred.

The _tragedies_.

Could it be the curse his father had warned him about? Everyone had feared that if Kai failed to fulfil the prophecy, it would come back to haunt the bloodline in the form of a curse. It had sounded a lot like claptrap back then. But now, Kai was not sure anymore.

The more logical explanation would be that Sehun’s body simply could not handle it. No matter how hard it tried. It had always been more complicated with men than with women. And to make it all worse, Kai was part vampire. Sehun was just a human boy, who forced himself to keep trying.

Kai had brought in healers and physicians, who dealt with vampires from all over the country. He had tried to give Sehun the best care this time. And even then, their efforts did not prevail. It was all in vain.

Sehun’s cries and screams were still ringing in his ears. He remembered standing there frozen for a moment, unable to even turn a hair. And the next, he was lunging towards his hurting lover, taking hold of Sehun’s hand and making false promises like, _“You are going to be all right.”_

His father had been right.

Opening his eyes again, Kai stared at the darkness in the bathing room before he sighed and scrubbed himself clean, ensuring that every speck of blood was washed away. He then climbed out of the tub and dried himself before he wandered back into the bedroom.

Pulling on a pair of underpants, he turned to the bed. He glanced to the dying embers on the hearth of the fireplace before he looked to Sehun, who was lying on the bed, his back facing Kai. He had never looked so small, curled into a ball under the heaps of blankets and eiderdowns.

It had only been a handful of days since it had happened. He was still weak, still in pain. Kai, for a moment, considered leaving his lover alone to rest and recuperate. But the thought of leaving Sehun to sleep on his own tormented Kai. Especially after what had just happened.

But he was not sure that Sehun wanted him here. He was refusing to even look at Kai.

With a heavy but quiet breath, Kai slid into the bed behind Sehun, realizing that the boy was no longer asleep. He knew what Sehun’s breathing sounded like when he was asleep. After all, they had shared the same bed for nearly five years.

Lying on his side, Kai stared at the back of Sehun’s head, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. A tear fell from a corner of his eye and seeped into the pillow as he raised a hesitant hand to a side of Sehun’s waist.

When he touched Sehun, he received no response. Perhaps that was a response in itself.

“I’m sorry,” Kai whispered, sliding closer until his chest was pressed against Sehun’s back. He then wound his arm around his lover’s waist, holding Sehun as close as he could without causing him any more pain. “I’m so… sorry.”

He heard a whispery sob break from Sehun’s throat then. Kai nuzzled into Sehun’s hair at the back of his head, trying to curb his own tears.

They stayed that way for a long time with Kai holding Sehun close to his chest. He knew Sehun did not want to meet his gaze right now. So, he did not force the boy to do anything. He said nothing else for a moment. He simply listened to Sehun cry in silence, murmuring, “I lost him. I lost him.”

It had been a horror for them both, but for Sehun, seeing his newly born son come out of him in a tiny disfigured shape, all drenched in thick blood and lifeless, must have killed a part of his soul. Especially when they had built such high hopes for the baby to be born this time. Healthy and alive.

The last three times they had tried, Sehun had ended up losing the child in less than two months. But this time, they had just gotten past their fifth month.

Kai remembered all the nights he had spent peppering Sehun’s swollen belly with kisses, especially when Sehun was the one who asked for them. He would have given the world for their baby. He would have gone to the very edge of it for him.

But now, it was all lost.

“You shouldn’t,” Sehun breathed out at length, his voice thick with sorrow. “have chosen… me.”

Kai said nothing to that. He could not. He was too afraid that if he spoke, he would lose the last remaining silvers of his sanity. He hid his face in the nape of Sehun’s neck and clenched his eyes.

“Did you… bury him?” Sehun asked then, choking on his sobs. “With the… others?”

Kai tightened his arm around Sehun, inhaling sharply. It pained him to relive all the times he had to put his unborn babies to rest in a corner in the backyard. They each had their own grave. Sehun never went to the backyard anymore. He did not even look in the way of it. It was too much for him.

“I did,” Kai croaked out in a shaky whisper.

Sehun buried his face into the pillow and wept harder. “I don’t know… I don’t… know why.”

Though Kai kept his eyes tightly shut, the tears still forced themselves out of them.

“I try,” Sehun sobbed quietly. “Yet they just… keep slipping out of me… so lifelessly and…”

“Sehun,” Kai said pleadingly.

“Like my body could not… hold them.” Sehun took hold of Kai’s hand that was splayed against his belly and gripped it tightly. “I’m so sorry, Kai.”

“It was not your fault,” said Kai in whatever voice that he could find. “It was never your fault.”

Neither of them said anything more as they both silently grieved, holding onto one another. But there was something about Sehun’s silence. It was as though he were contemplating. Kai dreaded whatever it was that he was contemplating about.

* * *

They roused the next morning, still wrapped in each other’s embrace. The morning came with its usual ill omens and gloominess. Kai stared at the ceiling, an arm draped around Sehun’s shivering body while Sehun slept with his head resting on Kai’s chest. He tried to keep his breathing steady, so that he would not wake Sehun up.

Sehun’s body felt softer, more fragile than usual. He had spent the last couple of days in bed. Food and water were brought to him, but he barely ate a mouthful before he would send the servants away. Even his grandaunt had offered her sincere condolences to Kai when she saw him in the hallways yesterday.

Kai would have asked her to be there with Sehun (as she was Sehun’s only living family around here), but he doubted that Sehun would want her company any more than he had wanted Kai’s in that moment.

He heard a stagger in Sehun’s breathing before it went quiet. He stirred lightly to settle his head on Kai’s shoulder and a hand on his chest. Kai gave him a few minutes to fully wake up.

Then in a low voice, he said, “Happy birthday, my love.”

Sehun did not reply for a long moment. His silence kept worrying Kai. And then he reached up nuzzled into the crook of Kai’s neck.

It was supposed to be a celebration. It was Sehun’s 25th birthday. And Kai had wanted to do something grand for him. For both him and the child they were expecting together.

Most of all, Kai had wanted to introduce Sehun, after all these years, to the rest of his family as the boy he wanted to marry. He was going to propose to Sehun on his birthday in front of everyone. It was something he should have done a long time ago, but every time he came close to asking Sehun’s hand in marriage, they were caught in the midst of another tragedy, and they were not in the right headspace to do anything but mourn and try to recover.

Kai gently stroked Sehun’s back as he brushed a few kisses on his lover’s forehead. Then there was a knock on the door.

“What is it, Justus?” Kai asked.

On the other side of the door, the man was fumbling for words. “Your… grandparents are here, Master. And they demand to see you right away. Uh… They sounded very angry when I told them that the celebration has been called off, and you wanted everyone to go back.”

Kai’s stomach clenched all of a sudden. Sehun raised his head and met Kai’s worried gaze. “Your grandparents?” he muttered.

Kai groaned and closed his eyes. “Tell them I will be down in a moment, Justus. Seat them in the drawing room.”

“Yes, Master.”

Kai started to sit up, looking at Sehun pitifully. “You stay here. You do not have to come down.”

Sehun sat up with him, wincing. “But… they are your grandparents.”

“Exactly why I don’t want you meeting them. Not when you are like this.”

That made Sehun sadder than he already was. He drew his knees to his chest and hugged his legs, frowning miserably. “Are you… ashamed of me?”

Kai’s eyes bulged out, horrified. “What? Sehun, do not say such things. That is not the reason why.”

“I cannot carry your child. It should be enough reason.” He hid his face in his knees. “Your family will never accept me. Just the way they did not accept your mother. I’m a human boy, and I am too weak to even bear your...” he trailed off, choking on a sob.

Kai’s hands trembled lightly, his body colder than it usually was. He did not know what he could possibly say. He wondered if he did not have a word of comfort because Sehun was right? Was that why he did not want Sehun to meet his grandparents? Not entirely.

“I just want to protect you,” Kai said at last, taking hold of the sides of Sehun’s face to make him look up. “You have gone through a lot in the last few days. It is not the right time to meet my loud, judgmental, orthodox, misanthropic grandparents. I cannot have them taking you down while you are like this.”

Sehun exhaled heavily, as though he understood but was not happy. He nodded at length. “All right.”

They still had a lot of things to sort through and talk about. But they would have to wait for now. Kai needed to get rid of his grandparents first.

But before he could rise from the bed, Sehun grabbed his arm and said, “Will you… help me take a bath?”

Kai smiled faintly and pressed a soft kiss to Sehun’s forehead. “Of course.”

He undid the rest of the laces of Sehun’s shirt that had not already come undone and pulled the shirt off. Then he pushed the covers out of the way and helped Sehun to climb out of the bed.

Sehun stumbled and winced with visible discomfort as he held onto Kai for support. He was still so pale and fragile. Kai’s heart broke just to see him like this.

He then helped Sehun step out of the rest of his undergarments before he wound an arm around the back of Sehun’s waist and guided him to the bathing room. There was a slight limp to Sehun’s strides.

“Should I carry you?” asked Kai.

Sehun shook his head. “I have to try.”

Kai stuck with him until he had helped Sehun step into the tub.

“The water is cold,” said Kai as he picked up the pails of clean water that were ready for them to use in the room.

“That is all right,” Sehun sighed. “I am getting used to it.”

Kai frowned. “No, you’re not.”

“I’ll be fine.”

Not wanting to force Sehun into an argument, Kai filled the tub with the water and watched Sehun shudder at first. Then slowly, he eased into the tub.

Kai took his own clothes off before he climbed into the tub as well. Sehun slid forward to allow Kai some space behind him.

Once Kai was settled, he gently drew Sehun back to rest against his chest. “I do not make the water any warmer, do I?” Kai whispered against Sehun’s ear, dragging his wet hands up and down the boy’s arms.

Sehun did not complain, however, as he leaned back against Kai, settled between his legs. “Have you been drinking… human blood again?”

Kai sighed. “You know I had to.”

Sehun did not say anything more.

Kai picked up the soap and ran it along Sehun’s arms, shoulders, back and chest, lathering him gently until he smelled of sandalwood and lavenders. “Sehun,” he then purred, brushing his lips against the nape of Sehun’s neck.

Sehun melted even more in Kai’s embrace before he slowly turned his head and let his lips meet Kai’s. It was a tender kiss, one that they often gave one another just to casually profess their love for each other.

Sehun then rested his head back on Kai’s shoulder while Kai rubbed the soapsuds on Sehun’s body, massaging his muscles lightly. “I know I frustrate you,” Sehun said in a quiet voice after some time. “You have every right to be furious.”

“I am not furious,” Kai said, pressing another kiss to a side of Sehun’s neck. “Why would I be furious, my love?”

Sehun hesitated to answer. “Because… I can’t…”

Kai swallowed hard and kissed Sehun’s temple. “It is not your fault,” he said again.

“But it is, isn’t it?”

“We both wanted it,” Kai said.

“Wanted…”

Kai drew a breath. “We should give it a rest. I am not sure that it is a worth it. I do not want you to… exhaust yourself like this ever again.”

It was more than just the exhaustion. The toll that the grief took on Sehun’s mental health was greater than anything else.

He felt a warm tear drop onto his shoulder. It was Sehun’s. “But I want to,” Sehun whispered. “I have to.”

“Why do you have to?” Kai asked. “Why is this… so important to you?”

He had never asked Sehun why he continued to insist that he bore Kai a child. Why it was so important to him to bear the child himself…

Sehun caught Kai’s hand that was lathering his chest with the soapsuds and held it there, on his chest for a moment. Kai felt how fast Sehun’s heartbeat was then as it thumped under his palm.

“Because I will not be here forever,” Sehun said, his voice breaking. “I cannot be with you forever. I will not live that long.”

This was something they never talked about. There was a tacit agreement between them to never talk about this after the first time they had broached the subject.

_“How old is your father?”_ Sehun had asked all those years ago.

_“Somewhere between 150 to 160.”_

Sehun had blinked at him confusedly. _“Years?”_

_“Yes, years.”_

Sehun had gone completely silent for a very long moment. When he spoke again, his voice had quivered. _“Does that mean… you will also get to live that long?”_

_“My father would live for a very long time. Like his parents. They must be at least three centuries old. I’m only half vampire. I probably live for three centuries.”_

_“Your father still looks quite young and healthy, even at this age. So, you must at least be able to go to over a hundred, right?”_

_“Possibly.”_

They both knew then what it had meant. Kai known it for longer, but he never acknowledged it. It was too painful to think that he would have to consume a world without Sehun for decades after he was gone.

They decided to just focus on the time they had together.

Lately, they had been having the best time. Well, at least they were until…

“What does that have to do with this?” Kai asked as gently as he could, not wanting to hurt Sehun even with his tone. Sehun had never been as broken as he was right now. Of course, the first miscarriage had devastated him. He had not eaten or spoken to anyone for days. So many of his (and Kai’s) dreams were crushed that day.

Sehun raised a hand to lightly hold onto a side of Kai’s neck, stroking it tiredly. He did not raise his head from where it was lying on Kai’s shoulder.

“I want to… leave you with a part of me,” said Sehun. “To remember me by. I have to do this, Kai. There is nothing else that I could give you.”

He paused to take a few breaths. He was easily getting short-winded.

Then in a more sober voice, he said, “It is painful. So painful for me. And I know that it is hurting you, too. But I must do this. When I’m gone, I want you to be there for someone, who I would have given you. The child would have… come to life _inside_ me. It would live within me as a part of me for many moons. It would be… a part of _me._ And I want you to look after that part of me when my time with you ends. So that you would not be tempted to follow me. You cannot because you would have to be there for our child. Just like how your father had to be here for you.”

Kai’s throat tightened with a sorrow so thick that he was unable to utter a single word. So, he did not. Even though he wanted to tell Sehun that his reasons were noble and sweet. Had their roles been reversed, Kai might have thought of the same thing. Perhaps it was what Kai’s mother had thought of, too. Kai was her legacy.

Gently kneading Sehun’s shoulders, Kai leaned in and peppered the back of his right shoulder with some kisses. “I love you, Sehun,” he whispered at last, pressing his lips against the spot on Sehun’s neck where he could feel the pulse beat against his lips.

“And I love you,” Sehun muttered. “But I am afraid you are never going to know how much.”

Kai cupped a handful of water from the tub and dribbled it along Sehun’s chest to wash off the soapsuds. “I know.”

Later, once they were done bathing together, Kai towelled them both dry and clothed himself before he helped Sehun put on one of his own shirts. Sehun often said that he loved wearing Kai’s shirts more than his own because they smelled and felt like him.

Then Kai tucked Sehun back into the bed and sat down at the end of it. He picked up Sehun’s feet and settled them on his lap before he lifted one of them to brush a kiss on the toes.

“You don’t have to…” Sehun began to say, but he was clearly too tired to finish. So, he rested his head back on the pillow and silently watched Kai plant a kiss on each of his cold toes before he slipped the socks on. “I don’t deserve you, do I?”

Drawing the eiderdown over Sehun, Kai leaned over and gave Sehun’s forehead a kiss, stroking the boy’s hair while muttering, “No. You deserve so much better.”

Sehun clenched his eyes and swallowed like he was trying to stop himself from breaking into a sob.

Then with a heavy sigh, Kai left Sehun to get some rest.

* * *

# C H A P T E R T E N

As he wended his way downstairs, his heart pounded lightly. He had not met his grandparents in a while. After his father had taken off, Kai had not gone to Rogaena for any of the following Winter Solstices. Mostly because he did not want to leave Sehun alone in Caerdorne for that long. And because he now had other responsibilities in Caerdorne.

He received countless letters from his relatives, especially his grandparents, badgering him about his absence in Rogaena for the past four Winter Solstices. Each year, Kai had some reason to stay in Caerdorne, and they all revolved around Sehun. The second year that he had missed it, Sehun had told him that he was pregnant.

There were some changes in the castle after Kai had asked Sehun to just move in with him. There were more human foods made every day, for one. And secondly, the castle was warmer and brighter than it had ever been with most of the fireplaces burning.

Sometime after Kai’s father had left, Lada also took off, leaving nothing but a letter of resignation behind. Kai did not mind much about her leaving. She deserved the rest more than anyone. She might have retired to Rogaena.

They were running short of servants. Kai did not bother to appoint anyone new either because he was not sure he wanted to risk having his true identity betrayed. Especially now that he had Sehun who was depending on him.

He had been getting sloppy with his hunts, however. It would not be long before the people of Caerdorne would start to react more strongly toward the recent elevated vampiric activities in the city. Kai needed to be more careful with his feeding. He also wondered if it would be wiser for him and Sehun to move away from Caerdorne and settle down somewhere more remote and discreet. Perhaps in a cottage rather than a castle that was too big for two.

“Alicja,” Kai called when he found her knitting at the bottom of the stairs.

“Master,” she rasped and shot up to her feet from the step she was perched on. “Y-Yes.”

“Will you bring your grandnephew something to eat?” asked Kai. “Perhaps a soup. Something that is easy for him to eat.”

Alicja nodded. “Of course. I’ll have Justus heat up some of that chicken soup.”

It was just them four and Justus’ wife who never stepped foot into the castle now. Marie moved out of here last year when she got married to a baker. She now lived somewhere in the city. Kai could tell that she had not been happy with her marriage to the baker.

Kai remembered the night she had come up to his room some four years ago, all dewy-eyed and hopeful.

_“Kai,”_ she had said shakily when Kai got the door. Kai arched an eyebrow at her. _“I know I am not supposed to be here in the middle of the night. But…”_

Kai already knew what she was here for. He exhaled heavily and held the door open wide so that she could have a look at Sehun, who was curled up in a bundle of blankets on Kai’s bed, wearing nothing underneath, and sound asleep. They made love almost nightly. Kai had never been able to keep his hands to himself when Sehun was just lying there in his bed with his tousled hair, rosy cheeks, and coy smiles that never failed to temp Kai to breach the boundaries.

Marie had gawked in disbelief, her face reddening harshly. She then looked up at Kai, as though she were looking for some explanation.

_“I love Sehun,”_ Kai had told her blatantly. _“We love each other. He is mine and I am his. I suggest you stop running after us like a little puppy dog.”_

With that, he shut the door and returned to the bed, wrapping his arms around Sehun. It was the second time he had told someone else that he loved Sehun. And it felt so good. To call Sehun his. To brand himself as Sehun’s.

Marie always pinned them with a grimace whenever she saw them after that.

_“Why is she looking at me like I killed her favourite bunny?”_ Sehun had asked one day, noticing the stink eye she had been giving him. _“Did you say something to her?”_

Kai shrugged.

They had come a long way since then. But still, Kai had not had the courage to introduce Sehun to any of his other family members because he was too afraid that they might do everything in their power to drive Sehun away. They would not eat him or kill him or anything, but they would try to prove their point in the cruellest way possible. That was what they had apparently done when Kai’s mother had died. His grandparents had come to the funeral and told his grieving father, _“We told you so.”_

Kai figured he could not keep Sehun shielded from them forever. He was not sure that he wanted to keep Sehun hidden away either. So, he had thought that if they had a child together, his grandparents and the others would be more sympathetic. They would never forgive Kai for not fulfilling the prophecy, but they would not disown anyone with even the slightest trace of the Blackthorne blood. Kai and Sehun’s child would not even be a half-vampire, but he or she would still be a Blackthorne.

But as things were right now, Kai knew that he was in a bigger conundrum. If his grandparents knew of Sehun’s miscarriages, they would go rampant with rage.

When he finally reached the drawing room, he stood before the door and sucked in some deep breaths. It had been a rough few days, and he hoped that he would not lose his temper in there, no matter how skilled his grandparents were at provoking him.

He heard Baekhyun’s voice on the other side of the door. He said, “He’s here.”

Pushing the door open, Kai stepped into the room. His eyes first darted to Baekhyun, who lunged at him and wrapped him up in a big hug.

“Kai,” he gasped. “God, I haven’t seen you in ages!”

They really had not seen each other in ages. Pulling back, Kai mustered his cousin from top to bottom. Baekhyun did not look like he had aged at all. In fact, he was glowing. For a vampire, he looked pretty darn radiant. And then Kai looked down at the stout belly that was prodding into his abdomen.

Baekhyun stepped back and grinned. “Five months,” he said proudly.

Kai scratched the back of his head and looked to Chanyeol, who walked up to him with a hand held out. Kai shook it, glancing over to the two identical toddlers crawling on the floor.

Kai had not only missed Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s wedding (mostly because that was also when Sehun was going through his first miscarriage), but he had also missed the news of them giving birth to their first twins.

He swallowed hard.

“Kai,” called Chanyeol. “How have you been?”

Kai’s head was spinning lightly, but he nodded. “Fine.” He sucked in another breath, noticing the way Baekhyun’s smile faltered into a frown. “Congratulations. On the wedding. On the… babies.”

It must have been easy for them because they were both full-vampires. Kai could not help but think that he had made everything so much harder for Sehun by confessing his feelings for him all those years back. Perhaps they both would have been better off if Kai had just found a vampire partner and Sehun could have married Marie. Kai would have had to nurse an ailing heart that longed for Sehun for the rest of his life, but he would not have been putting Sehun through all this misery.

It would not be long before Sehun figured that out, too. Perhaps then, he would leave Kai for good.

Chanyeol and Baekhyun exchanged a glance. “Kai,” said Chanyeol. “What has happened? Why has the celebration been called off?”

“And you mentioned it in the invitation that it is your lover’s birthday celebration. Where is he?” asked Baekhyun.

Kai looked away from them and fixed his gaze on his grandparents who were seated on the chaise lounge, refusing to even look at him. It was almost as though they were unaware of his presence.

With a lump in his throat, Kai approached them. “Grandpa. Grandmama,” he said.

Neither of them looked up at him immediately. Then with a sour moue, his grandmother rose from her seat and met Kai’s eyes with a sharp glower.

“Kai,” she said. She did not look any older than the last time Kai had seen her either. Her hair was silver’s grey. Her face bearing nothing but a few wrinkles. “You dare to turn us away after we have come all the way to this wretched city that reeks of _Wulvers_?”

Kai sighed. “I meant you no offence. It is just that… something has happened unexpectedly, and I cannot play host.”

His grandfather shot up to his full height then. He was almost a copy of Kai’s father. Or rather Kai’s father was a copy of him. Well, they were only alike in looks.

“This house smells like humans,” spat his grandfather. “Do they live here with you?”

“The servants?”

“And this lover of yours,” said the man. “Do not think that we have not caught up, son. We know what you have been up to all this time. We have eyes and ears everywhere. Your father might not be around anymore, but that does not mean you get to run wild.”

“I am not running wild,” Kai said tiredly. “But I am old enough to make my own decisions.”

Both his grandparents looked appalled by that. “Enough of this for now,” his grandmother then said. “We have just arrived. Let us get something to drink and we will talk. Like a family.”

Kai was already dreading what was about to come.

* * *

The day had been brighter than usual. Summers did not exist in Caerdorne. Though it was not as cold as it was for the rest of the year, the sun did not shine this way. But still, the day was bright. The air was calm.

Kai had just finished draining an entire buck before he headed home. He checked if Sehun was running some errands for Justus. He was not. So, Kai wended his way up to his room, knowing that Sehun would be there whenever he was not out doing his chores.

Kai had told him many times that he did not need to do those chores anymore. He was now… well, whatever he was to Kai at that moment. But Sehun insisted that he contributed in some way, so that he did not feel like he was freeloading. So, he still continued to run errands and do menial tasks for the servants two years into their relationship.

He had found Sehun sitting on the bed they now shared on most nights, except when Sehun was in a mood to pout because of something stupid that Kai had done. They almost never had an argument, but sometimes, they did about the pettiest things. Kai would be the first to apologize, even when he did not think he was in the wrong. He could not go a day without talking to Sehun or kissing him.

_“Hey,”_ Kai had said excitedly, rushing into the bathing room to wash off any remnants of blood from his mouth. Sehun had made it very clear that he would not like to kiss Kai on the mouth when he had just been out sucking some animal’s blood.

He quickly returned to the bed and lounged on it before he yanked Sehun down to lie with him. He pressed a kiss to Sehun’s cheek and then his neck, purring hungrily. When he tried to kiss Sehun on the lips, the boy would not respond.

Pulling back with a frown, Kai said, _“Hey. Kiss me back?”_

Sehun sighed and sat up again, hanging his head.

Kai looked at him confusedly and sat upright as well. _“What is the matter?”_ he asked. _“Are you… upset with me?”_

Sehun shook his head. And then he nodded. Then he shook it again. There was something strange about his behaviour today. He looked jittery and bewildered, paler than usual.

_“Sehun?”_ Kai called, placing a hand on the boy’s back. _“What’s wrong? Are you ill?”_

Sehun finally turned to face him. He looked lost. _“I think I’m pregnant.”_

Kai could only stare at him for a long moment. _“Wh-What? How do you know?”_

Sehun exhaled heavily. _“I feel different. And strange. I have been feeling this way for the past few weeks. And…”_ He paused and raised his shirt to reveal his stomach. _“Notice anything different?”_

Kai looked at him even more confusedly. _“No?”_

_“I have a small belly.”_

_“Yeah, so?”_

_“So?”_

_“Maybe you’re just getting fat?”_

Sehun scowled at him then. He quickly picked up a pillow and hurled it at Kai’s face. _“So, all this time you noticed and just thought that I’m fat?”_

_“You have been eating a lot lately.”_

_“See! I have been, haven’t I?”_ He planted his blushing face in his hands.

Kai took a couple of minutes to gather his own thoughts and wits. Then he slid closer to Sehun and enveloped the boy in his arms. _“Hey, hey… It’s… great if you are… pregnant. It’s not a bad thing.”_

Sehun lifted his head and faced Kai with a frown. _“I don’t know… how to deal with this.”_

Kai smiled at him, cupping Sehun’s face in his hands. _“We will deal with it together, all right? This is fantastic, Sehun. If I get to have a baby with the boy I love the most in the world, I could not think of anything better.”_

Sehun’s cheeks crimsoned even more. _“Really?”_

_“Yes, I swear. I am happy. So happy.”_ He kissed Sehun’s forehead. Then hesitating for a moment, he asked, _“Do _you_ want the baby?”_

Sehun took a minute to respond. Kai was not sure why his heart was pounding. It only rested when Sehun eventually smiled bashfully, cheeks full of blood, and nodded. _“I do.”_

Kai grinned and gently coaxed Sehun to lie down. _“And I’m sorry I made fun of your belly.”_ He lifted Sehun’s shirt all the way up to his chest before settling his head on the belly, looking at Sehun lovingly. _“I think it is very adorable.”_

The boy gasped lightly and grabbed Kai’s hair when Kai pressed a kiss to the belly. Tugging at Kai’s hair to pull his face away from his stomach, he said, _“That tickles.”_

_“You’re warmer than usual…”_

From that day on, they began to prepare themselves for the pregnancy. Kai had never read books on pregnancy before, but he started to diligently, wanting to know everything he could to help his lover get through this. He made Sehun move to his bedroom completely after that. Sehun was not to leave the castle without Kai. He was especially not allowed to go anywhere near the woods. A lot of things started to change for the better.

But in the end, just in less than two months, they ended up losing the baby. Kai would never forget the horror he had woken up to that night.

He was not sure if it were the metallic stench of blood or the miserably cries that woke him up first in the dead of the night. As soon as he was awake, he noticed Sehun’s absence at his side on the bed. Kai had sprung out of the bed with his heart in his throat, thundering with panic, before he hurried into the bathing room, where he found Sehun curled up in a corner, sitting in the middle of a puddle of blood, the lower part of his body covered in red stains. He was sobbing, scared, sorrowed and shaking like a leaf. He looked completely devastated.

First thing that popped into Kai’s mind was if someone or something had hurt Sehun as he rushed to the boy. And then he slowly realized what had happened. He had read up plenty on miscarriages, too.

They did not talk about it for days. Sehun did not want to. Kai was not going to force him to do it either. He let Sehun mourn in silence.

In the years that followed, he managed to become conceived two more times, and that resulted in miscarriages just in a couple of months. And it was not any easier. The final time Sehun was pregnant, he dreaded each day. He was afraid and nervous and so careful. They had managed to get to the fifth month before…

They had been so sure that this would be the one. That it would all go according to plan this time.

Instead, the blow had been bigger than ever. The devastation was greater than it had been the last three times. Kai had gotten to hold their little baby this time, bathed in blood, nothing more than a lifeless flesh. It had died while it was still inside Sehun.

Kai did not think that he could do this again. No matter what Sehun’s reasons were. He could not lose the last bit of his humanity over this, and he most certainly would not have Sehun put through this agony ever again.

* * *

“You mean to tell me that you do not kill the people you feed from?” asked his grandmother when Kai told her that they did not have humans tied up in the basement for fresh stocks of blood.

“No, Grandmama,” he sighed. “As you already somehow know, I am with a human boy. It is bad enough that I have started to feed on human blood. Besides, I don’t see why I need to kill the humans.”

“Because you are putting yourself in danger by letting your prey live,” said his grandfather. “They will eventually rally and hunt you.”

Kai glanced to Baekhyun and Chanyeol who were struggling with their twin boys. Once they were done settling them on the chaise lounge, they joined the others at the table.

“Where is this human lover of yours?” asked Baekhyun. “I would like to meet this person who has you so enamoured that you completely forgot about us all these years.”

Kai gnawed at his lip.

“We do not have to see some human boy Kai has been toying with,” said his grandmother with a clenched jaw.

“He is not feeling well. Which is why I had to cancel the celebration,” said Kai. “To let him recover.”

His grandfather scoffed out a chuckle. “This is why you should not have taken a human for a lover. They get sick. And they die. They are weak and frail and fragile.”

Kai balled his hands into fists under the table. “You can’t possibly know how strong he is.”

His grandfather fixed him with a glower. “He is human, Kai. It is best you make peace with the fact that he would not last that long. Especially with all the plagues that have been circling around. But it does not matter much, anyway. He is just a hobby. As all humans should be to us. When he passes on, you’ll find another.”

Kai’s eyes narrowed. “He is not just a _hobby_ to me. I love him, and I intent to marry him one day.”

Everyone at the table went silent. His grandparents looked so shocked that it must mean that they truly believed that Kai was only fooling around with Sehun.

“Are you trying to ruin yourself like your father did?!” his grandmother then yapped. “Marry a human! Bloody hell, this cannot be happening to our family again. Why must the Blackthornes suffer this fate?”

She looked like she might cry.

His grandfather, on the other hand, looked like he was trying to hold his temper and not let his fangs show. “You might want to reconsider that,” he told Kai in a very threatening tone. “You are the Blood Prince. Do not forget.”

Kai huffed exasperatedly. “I am no Blood Prince, contrary to popular belief.”

“You are,” said his grandfather. “And you must be. I will not stand here and watch the Blackthorne bloodline get more diluted than it already has. You will take a vampire bride and breed with her. A female is better. She will be more fertile. And you can keep your little human playthings if you want and breed with them, too. But I will have stronger vampires in my line if it kills me.”

“Then why don’t _you_ breed with someone more fertile, Grandpa?” asked Kai.

Chanyeol choked on a laugh but stopped himself when Baekhyun backhanded him on the chest.

“Maybe _you_ should just make more children,” Kai spat. “Or pester Father to give you other grandchildren. But you can’t because he won’t listen. What makes you think I will?”

His grandparents rose from their seats. “You listen to me, you little punk,” said his grandfather. “I do not resort to unnecessary violence. But if you do not fulfil this prophecy that is tied to our ancestral line, I will make sure that you will never be with that human boy again. If he is the one that is holding you back, I will happily get rid of him for you.”

Kai shot up to his feet. “Don’t you dare even go near him.”

“You will take a vampire bride,” the man said with some finality in his tone. “You will marry her if she wishes for you to, and you will sire children from her. After that, you may do whatever you wish. Challenge me again and I will have your tongue ripped out. Or better yet, I will find this human boy of yours and hurt him in ways you cannot even imagine.”

“Honey,” Kai’s grandmother said, taking hold of her husband’s arm. “Calm yourself. He is just a kid. Who thinks he is foolishly in love.” She scowled at Kai. “Take your grandfather’s advice. We implore you to save our bloodline, Kai. We have always asked you of this as your family. Yet, you disrespect us and treat us like we are nothing to you when have we been supportive of you as a family all this while. Your mother was a filthy human bitch, and you were born to her. We still treated you like one of us. Is this how you repay our generosity? By turning your back on us for a human boy?”

This was so something his grandparents would do. While his grandfather threatened him with intimidating ultimatums, his grandmother resorted to manipulation.

“Wait,” muttered Chanyeol all of a sudden, glancing to the door.

The drawing room door creaked open then. In the midst of the argument, Kai had not caught Sehun’s scent. Alarmed, he spun around to look at Sehun who stepped into the room anxiously, looking more ill than he actually was. Had he heard their conversation? He must have. They were not exactly whispering.

Fucking hell…

Everyone was gaping at Sehun, who was timidly walking towards them, still slightly limping. Kai felt his already cold blood run even colder. He then rushed to Sehun’s side and took hold of his arm.

“What are you doing down here?” he hissed.

Sehun looked up at him with a pained frown. He had heard. He had heard everything. Kai knew. “I wanted to meet your family,” he whispered miserably. His bloodshot eyes gave everything away.

“Sehun, go back upstairs,” Kai said through his teeth.

“So, this is the human boy you have been playing with,” said Kai’s grandfather, crossing his arms over his chest, looking to Sehun now. “I would have expected something far more special since my grandson was going to all that extent to fight for you. But you look like a roach that has been chewed up and spat out repeatedly.”

Kai turned to the man, growling, “Do not speak that way to him!”

“Kai,” Sehun called, pleadingly, holding Kai’s hand that was gripping his arm. “It’s okay.”

He then stepped forward and bowed his head at the others. Baekhyun looked at him and Kai pitifully, lips pursed. Chanyeol looked confused, but there was nothing demeaning about his expression. Kai’s grandparents, however, looked like they were about to rip Sehun’s head off right then and there.

For the first time in a long time, Kai wished his father were here. At his side, looking out for him.

“My name is… Sehun,” Sehun introduced himself. “I am the grandnephew of a servant who works here.”

His grandmother looked even more appalled and horrified. She clenched her eyes for a moment and drew in a breath (not because she needed it, but to express her disapproval).

_What the hell is he doing,_ Kai wondered, almost reaching out for Sehun’s arm again so that he could drag the boy out of here.

“You are a servant,” said Kai’s grandfather, every muscle in his face tightening into a harsher scowl. “This just keeps getting better and better. Have you no shame, Kai?”

“Please,” Sehun spoke again before Kai could intervene. “You should not blame him.”

“That is right,” said Kai’s grandmother. “We should blame _you_. Like his mother, you are also a delusional little thing who latched onto someone who is far superior than you. Even if he is just a half-bred, he is still a Blackthorne. Did you think that a mangy mongrel like you—”

Kai caught Sehun’s arm then and fiercely yanked him back before he lurched forward, snarling at his grandparents, baring his fangs while all veins in his neck and temples protruded.

Chanyeol shot forward at once and blocked him before he could lunge at his grandparents, holding him back. “Calm down, Kai,” he said, almost whispering into Kai’s ear, grabbing Kai by the shoulders. “Do not make things worse.”

Panting ferociously, Kai stopped and pulled away from Chanyeol, still glaring at his grandparents over Chanyeol’s shoulder. He then retracted his fangs before he glanced back to Sehun, who was gawking at him in horror.

“I do not care who you are,” Kai then spat at his grandparents. “Family or not. He is my family, too. So, do not think for a single second that I will just stand here and listen to you denigrate him so unfairly.”

His grandfather took a step forward. “It worries me,” he said, looking more surprised than anything at Kai’s intense reaction. “that you are willing to protect this boy this fiercely. Reminds me of your father.”

“The apple does not fall from its tree now,” Kai said, still scowling viciously. “does it?”

“I suppose not.” The man crossed his arms over his chest. “You leave me with no choice, Kai. So, here is the ultimatum. You either do as I say, or you will face the consequences of betraying your family. Just the way your father has all these years.”

Kai flinched back, blinking. “What do you—”

“May I speak?” Sehun cut in. All heads turned to him again.

“Sehun,” Kai said, furiously now. “Get out of here.”

“No,” Sehun murmured and advanced toward Kai’s grandfather. “I have no objection to your grandson… taking a bride. A… vampire bride with whom he can sire… children. As per your wish. I do not own him, and he does not own me. You were right. I am only his… plaything. And… I have no intention on marrying your grandson. Even if it is something that he wants. I know that I am just a human. A prey. I know that he and I are not compatible.”

Every fibre in Kai’s body just numbed. His ears rang for a moment with Sehun’s words. It was his turn to gawk at Sehun as though he had just been struck across the face.

Kai’s grandfather began to smirk. “At least you are not a complete fool,” the man said to Sehun. “Do I have your word, Sehun?”

Sehun hesitated for a second before he nodded. Kai’s chest hurt like it was being stabbed at repeatedly. “I will not be a hindrance. He will… fulfil this prophecy you spoke of. I won’t be in the way. And if I am, if I am what is stopping him, then I will remove myself out of the equation by any means. I will leave, if I must.”

Kai’s grandfather then tore his gaze from Sehun and fixed it on Kai. “Did you hear that? The human boy you so violently want to protect has better survival instincts than your mother did.”

Kai’s vision was nearly tunnelling. As Sehun bowed his head again and turned around to walk out of the room, Kai caught his wrist, stopping him in his tracks.

He did not know what to say. His throat was so tight that he could not get a word out. He could only stare at Sehun’s limpid eyes speechlessly. Returning Kai’s gaze, Sehun slowly pulled Kai’s hand off his wrist and walked away.

“That is settled then,” said Kai’s grandmother once Sehun was gone. “We will find a wonderful bride for you forthwith. It is best if you do not dillydally anymore. Prophecies can’t wait.”

“We best be on our way now,” said Kai’s grandfather, sounding content at last. “And Kai, I suggest that you do not try anything funny. All that we ask of you is to breed with a vampire and let the Blackthorne bloodline flourish. Even one child would do. You do not need to love her. And… the human boy can stay with you if you wish. He does not look like he would be much trouble. I hope you don’t turn him into a trouble for us.”

With that, his grandparents took their leave. When Kai could finally move again, he dragged himself back to the table and flumped in a chair. He had never felt so dead before. Every nerve in him felt broken.

“Kai,” called Baekhyun, taking the seat beside Kai. Chanyeol stood, rubbing his jaw calculatedly. “What is all this?”

“Do not hound him right now, sweetheart,” said Chanyeol. “I do not think it will be a very good idea.”

“I am not hounding him,” sighed Baekhyun. “I just… I’m so confused. After everything, after all the warnings, you still… fell for a human. I am not taking sides here, but you could understand why your grandparents felt betrayed and cheated.”

“Did you hear what they said?” said Chanyeol, grimacing. “Breed with someone and beget children by her. Keep the human boy at the side, if you want. All of this sounds very… repugnant.”

Baekhyun frowned at his husband. “You are not a Skycrest, Blackthorne or Saltlake . You do not understand our ways, Mr. Professor.”

“Thank all hell for that,” scoffed Chanyeol. “Would you be all right with it if I were the one to have children with someone else, but keep you as a, what, a _hobby_?”

Baekhyun’s expression soured. “Of course not. But the boy… Sehun clearly seems all right with it.”

Kai clenched his eyes and tried to swallow.

“Are you going to do it?” asked Baekhyun. “Kai, I’m not sure you have much choice.”

“Run away,” Chanyeol said. Baekhyun scowled at him now. “Elope with the human boy.”

“And have his family disown him?” Baekhyun spat. “He will become a target. Of three families of vampires.”

“I would have done it,” said Chanyeol, shrugging. “I would have eloped with you.”

Baekhyun blinked and blushed. “Of course, you would. You are a romantic.” He rolled his eyes and turned to Kai again. “Kai, think about this. If even the boy is okay with you taking a bride, then don’t take the risk. Just do it.”

“It is not about what he wants,” Kai spat then. “It is about what _I _want. Do you really think I would want to take some vampire woman and have children with her when my heart is so full of my love for Sehun that it can barely contain it?”

He rose from the seat and huffed heavily. Baekhyun’s frown deepened. “How did you get to love this boy this much?”

“I’ve known him since we were children, Baekhyun,” Kai sighed. “I have known him for more than half my life. I cannot imagine it without him now. Not after everything.”

Baekhyun’s eyes widened. “Oh…” He rubbed his forehead then. “I had no idea… So, you really are serious about him.”

“It’s either him or death. And I would go with death happily than be with someone else.”

“You might be putting him in danger, don’t you think?” his cousin asked then. Kai clenched his fists. “I do not think you should your grandfather’s threats lightly.”

Kai knew that, too. He knew that his grandfather would not be giving Kai the same pass he had given his own son. Mostly because the bloodline might end with Kai if he did not fulfil the prophecy.

Was that why Sehun could never bear his children? Was that why all of this was happening? Because the prophecy was fulfilling itself?

Kai clamped his hands around his head and gripped his hair. “I can’t do this.”

“You do not have much of a choice,” said Baekhyun, looking at Kai sympathetically.

“Is there anything that we can do to help?” asked Chanyeol.

Kai drew in a deep breath. “I should… go talk to him. I’d be happy if you guys could stay the night.”

Baekhyun nodded. “Whatever you want, Kai.”

Kai licked his lips. “The woods are nearby. You probably don’t want to hunt for humans in the city right now.”

“I can get us something to eat for tonight,” said Chanyeol. “What are you in the mood for, love? Bear? Deer? Mountain squirrels.”

Baekhyun ignored him. “Kai, please. Think this through.”

With a curt nod, Kai turned around and stormed out of the drawing room. Even as he strode down the hallway, he could hear Chanyeol telling Baekhyun how ridiculous this entire situation was.

It was. Kai was happy that at least one other vampire could understand how unfair this all was. Well, two if only his father had been here.

With his hands balled into fists at his sides, he hurried upstairs.

* * *

# C H A P T E R E L E V E N

Kai did not stop until he was in the bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him with more force than necessary.

“What the fuck were you thinking?!” he roared when he found Sehun seated on the bed, leaned back against the headboard with his arms wrapped tightly around his legs. He was still trembling, his face streaked with tears. “I told you to stay up here! I told you not to come downstairs!”

Sehun shuddered and flinched hard every time Kai shouted at him. He clenched his eyes and sobbed when Kai angrily knocked over a floor candle holder.

“Do you have any idea how stupid that was?!” he growled. “Did I ask you to speak for me?!”

“I did not ask you to speak for _me_ either,” Sehun said then, snivelling.

Kai stopped, blenching with a start. He gulped. “Were you… saying the truth to them down there, then?”

Sehun looked up at him, pained and fatigued.

“Answer me, Sehun,” Kai said in a calmer voice. “Do you… want me to sleep with someone else and have a child with them?”

Sehun shook his head like a child that had just been reprimanded. “I do not,” he mewled out. “But we can’t always all get what we want.”

“Do you think that you will be some sort of a martyr? That is some big sacrifice? I was down there fighting for you. For _us_. And you just…”

Kai sucked in a few breaths, scrubbed his face with his palms while Sehun cried.

“I am not worth it,” he then heard Sehun whisper. He raised his head again and glared in Sehun’s way.

“What?”

Sehun wiped the tears from his cheeks and lowered his legs to the bed. “I am not worth all this… fight. You do not have to fight for me.”

Kai was stumped for a moment. “But… I _love_ you, Sehun,” he let out almost lifelessly.

“And?” said Sehun. And it was the cruellest thing he had ever said. “I will die eventually, Kai. Of old age if not by some disease before that. You will still be here. Years after I’m gone. You said it yourself once that you wish that your father had found someone else. I do not want you to live the rest of your life with just my memories.”

Kai suddenly felt all fight drain from his body.

“And… I can’t give you a child,” said Sehun. “I can try and try, but I am never going to be able to hold one in me long enough for it to come out of me alive, am I?”

“Stop,” Kai said. “Stop saying these things. How I want to live my life is not anyone’s call. Not yours, not my grandparents’. If I want to be with you, then that is my choice.”

“What if I don’t want to be with you?” asked Sehun.

Kai wanted to run out of the bedroom before Sehun could go any further. But he did not find the courage to move a single muscle in his body then.

“Are you threatening me, too?” Kai scoffed, shaking his head disappointedly. “Like everyone else is.”

“No, Kai,” Sehun said quickly. “I just… don’t want to be put in the middle of this struggle. I do not want all of your decisions to revolve around me. I don’t want you to alienate your family for me. I do not want you to live out the rest of your life alone. I have a feeling that you are going to do just that. And it will all be because of me, who doesn’t even deserve you.”

Kai walked over to the bed and dropped onto its edge, hanging his head, shoulders slumped. “What will you have me do, Sehun? Just tell me what you want me to do, then.”

“Do not use me as your excuse.”

Kai did not know how to tell Sehun that he was not just an excuse. But neither of them could carry this argument on any further. Kai buried his face in his hands and said, “So, you will be fine with it if I took another and bore a child with her?”

Sehun did not answer. Kai brought his head up and turned around to look at the boy.

“You were being serious when you said that you will not marry me,” Kai added. Sehun was still silent, though his eyes were looking at Kai’s. “What if I do take someone else? Marry her? Have her bear my child? What will you do then?”

Sehun blinked away the fresh tears that welled up in his eyes and said, “I will still be here, I suppose.”

Kai nodded his head considerately and looked away again. “Fine. If this is what you want.”

He rose from the bed and stormed out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him.

* * *

He did not see Sehun for the rest of the day. When he went hunting for some animal blood in the woods with Chanyeol later in the afternoon, he ended up draining two whole moose and a doe.

“You might want to slow down,” Chanyeol scoffed with his arms crossed, staring at Kai who was still sucking the blood out of the doe. “Or you might choke.”

Kai pulled back from the doe and wiped his mouth on the back of his hand. “I am still hungry.”

“Because you are angry.”

Kai rose back to his full height and trudged further into the woods. Chanyeol followed. “I need human blood.”

“No. You need to calm down. Have you tried alcohol? You are part human. Twice the amount of a normal intake should get you there.”

“Maybe you are right.” Kai stopped and faced Chanyeol. “I am furious. I am furious at my grandparents. I am furious at my father for dumping all of this responsibility on me. I am furious at the witch who came up with the sodding prophecy. Fuck, I would love to strangle that bitch. And I am furious that Sehun, in spite of _everything_ that I do for him, does not think that we belong together. He just wants to take everything that we had built together all these years and throw it all away just because he thinks he knows what I need. Bull-fucking-shit.”

Chanyeol arched an eyebrow. “Sometimes, we must make some hard choices for the ones we love, Kai.”

“We could you possibly know about hard choices,” Kai scoffed. “You have the perfect life.”

Chanyeol sighed. “There was someone before Baekhyun. Kai, I have been alive for 76 years.”

“What?” Kai blinked.

“Yeah. I have made so many hard choices, trust me. I gave up on someone I loved, too. Because… I too did not believe that we belonged together.”

“Do you… regret it?”

Chanyeol chuckled. But it sounded dead. “Every single moment of my life. Don’t get me wrong. I do have the perfect life. And I love Baekhyun with all my eternal life. I have two beautiful children and another on the way. But… a part of me will always wonder… about the life I had once forgone.”

He walked over to Kai and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Things have a weird way of working themselves out sometimes,” said Chanyeol. “But often, you will have to fight for something you want to keep. If this boy… is the one, then I say fight.”

Kai stared at Chanyeol. “Baekhyun was right. You are definitely not one of us.”

Chanyeol laughed. “Not a bad thing, right?”

“Not at all. It is a compliment.” He sighed. “But I don’t know if I can fight. I don’t know if it is even possible. I am worried that if I… fought, Sehun might leave me. He thinks that he is a burden to me right now.”

Chanyeol frowned, retrieving his hand. “I hope you do not mind me asking,” he then said in a cautious tone. “but what is he… ill with?”

Kai was silent for a moment, even though he knew he could confide in the other man.

“Kai,” called Chanyeol, noticing the hesitance in Kai’s expression. “You can trust me. I have come across countless physicians. And countless of their patients.”

Kai swallowed before saying, “He just recently went through a miscarriage.”

Chanyeol did not look surprised. He bowed his head. “How many months?”

“Five.”

“Born dead or died after birth?”

“It was a stillbirth,” Kai said. “Born dead.”

Chanyeol offered him a pitiful look. “I’m sorry.”

Kai paused for a second and then said, “It is his fourth miscarriage.”

That shocked Chanyeol. His jaw fell slack, and he gaped at Kai in horror. “What?”

“Yeah.” Kai brushed past him and walked away.

Chanyeol stood there for a moment longer before he went after Kai. “And how long have you two been together?”

“Five years.”

“Kai, I am so sorry. I had no idea.”

“Now do you see that I am not with him for just nothing?” Kai huffed. “I want to be with him until the end. Through joy and grief. We have gone through all that, and I don’t know how Sehun could just… give up now.”

“It is a good thing your grandparents did not know about these miscarriages. They would have another reason to push you towards breeding with a vampire.”

“I know.”

“So, is that why Sehun thinks that it is a good idea that you take someone else?”

“I don’t know,” Kai murmured. “I do not even care about having children. I just want… him. I would be happy even if it is just the two of us until the end of time. But to him, this is so important. I can’t believe he just bluntly said that he would not marry me.”

“I’m sure he had his reasons.”

“He does. Bloody stupid reasons.”

“Your father must have known about Sehun and you, right?”

“He does,” said Kai, cringing at the memory of him aggressively arguing with his father. It had been their last conversation.

“Any idea where he is?”

“I think he is on the alps. He used to say that my mother always wanted to go there,” Kai sighed. “He writes once in a while. I haven’t returned any of his letters, though.”

“Why did he leave?”

“Because I made it seem like… I didn’t need him anymore.”

“Do you?”

Kai came to a standstill and nodded slowly. “I think… he would be on my side if he were here. And maybe that would make things easier.”

“I don’t see how. It seemed to me like… he too was trying to make up to his parents for betraying them. Maybe he expects you to help him redeem himself.”

“I know,” sighed Kai. “But I think he understands. And that’s… something. He knows what it’s like. To fall for someone you should not have.”

* * *

Kai did not go up to the room even after dinner. He stayed in the drawing room with Baekhyun, Chanyeol and their twin babies. He kept staring at the babies who crawled all over the floor, making all sorts of sounds with their mouths. He eventually found himself smiling at them forlornly.

Had at least one of his children survived, he or she might also be crawling around the castle, cooing like the twins. Kai always wondered what sort of a father he would be. He figured that it was something that he could only find out once he was a father.

But each and every time, he fell short of becoming one.

“I’m sure this is not going to help your situation,” Baekhyun said at one point, rubbing his swollen belly as he leaned back on the chaise lounge. “But Sehun is quite beautiful.”

Kai dropped his head back on the chaise lounge. He looked down again with a cocked brow when Baekhyun draped his legs across his lap.

“A baby can wear out even a vampire,” said Baekhyun, grinning.

Kai decided not to shove the feet off his lap (only because Baekhyun was pregnant). “Yes, he is beautiful,” he replied to what his cousin had said earlier.

“Tell me more about him. Why… him? I mean, he is obviously beautiful. But so are a lot of other people. So, what is your story? How did you come to fall for him?”

Kai sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. Chanyeol, who was entertaining the babies on the floor with their toys, was listening, too.

“His grandaunt brought him here after his mother had died.”

“She is the servant?” asked Baekhyun.

Kai nodded. “I hated her. So, I hated her relative, too.”

“You hated Sehun?” asked Chanyeol.

Kai smiled at a fond memory. “Yeah. For a while, at least.” He opened his eyes again. “For the longest time, he tried to out me as a vampire. And was obsessed with me. He followed me around like a bloodhound, sniffing after me. I don’t even know when was the exact moment that I fell in love with him. But it happened. Somehow, I had fallen for an annoying, adorable mouth-breather.”

Baekhyun chuckled. “Sounds very romantic. So, when did _he_ fall in love with you?”

“Shortly after I had snogged him in the woods one day, I guess,” said Kai with a shrug. “I honestly thought that he was going to make me work so much harder. But he came around sooner and easier than I would have ever anticipated.”

“Sounds like he must have liked you before you snogged him,” said Baekhyun.

“I doubt it,” Kai sighed.

“How is it with a human, though?” inquired Baekhyun, looking more curious.

“I am part human, Baekhyun.”

“Yeah. But your vampire genes are obviously stronger than your human genes. So, how is it to be with a human? Don’t you want to suck his blood out all the time?”

Kai scratched the back of his head. “There was once a time when I could not stop thinking about either biting him or kissing him. It last for… years, actually.”

“Did you ever bite him?”

“I almost did. Once.”

It had been a night to remember indeed. But he was no longer a confused teenager that did not know whether he wanted to kiss Sehun or bite him.

He had been half-asleep in the middle of the night when his arm snaked around Sehun’s waist and pulled him close. Sehun had stirred lightly, but he did not wake up. Kai was not fully awake either when he let his lips drowsily wander all over the nape of Sehun’s neck.

Then holding Sehun’s back to his chest, he slowly began to graze a side of Sehun’s neck with his teeth, nibbling on a spot gently. His hand slid into Sehun’s nightshirt and stroked the boy’s soft stomach.

He felt a pulse drum deliciously against his lips when he pressed them to a corner under Sehun’s jaw. His fangs scraped Sehun’s skin there, wanting to sink into the warm, soft flesh.

And then Sehun sleepily moaned, _“Kai… What are you doing?”_

Kai’s eyes had flung open, and he backed away with panic, realizing what he had almost done. _“Nothing,”_ he said hoarsely and clambered out of the bed hurriedly.

Sehun turned around and looked at him with half-lidded eyes. _“Where are you going?”_

_“Basement.”_

_“Now?”_

_“Yeah. I’m hungry.”_

_“Okay.”_ Sehun settled his head back on the pillow and went back to his sleep as Kai hurtled out of the room to go drain some rats.

He exhaled heavily, thinking of the night again. After that, he always made sure that he never went to bed without feeding. Even then, he kept his guard up at all times.

“We ought to leave at first light,” said Chanyeol. “Maybe you should get some rest, my love.”

Baekhyun nodded. “Yes, you’re right.” He withdrew his legs from Kai’s lap and sat up. “Kai, I do not want to nag you again. But do make the right decision. One that would not hurt both you and Sehun. I hope you understand that I care about you.”

“I know,” Kai sighed and ruffled Baekhyun’s hair. “Perhaps the next time I see you, you two would have made enough babies to start your own choir.”

Baekhyun made a face at him, but Chanyeol smirked.

Kai rose from the chaise lounge. “I should head up and check on Sehun, too. Have a safe ride home.”

He gave them both a hug and nodded his head when they wished him the best of luck before he headed upstairs.

Sehun was already asleep when he went up to the room. Frowning, Kai quietly shut the door again and walked away from the bedroom. He went to the library instead and picked up a book on Greek Gods before he settled on the chaise lounge there.

He eventually fell asleep on it with the book spread open on his chest.

* * *

When Kai went back to the room the next morning, he found Sehun clothing himself after a bath. The boy looked over to him with a guilty look.

Kai wended his way to the fireplace to throw in a couple more firewood before he yanked the shirt over his head and discarded it on the floor. Then undoing the laces of his trousers, he started for the bathing room.

Sehun kept staring at him, as though he were waiting for Kai to say something. When he did not, Sehun finally said, “Kai.”

Stopping, Kai sucked in an exasperated breath and turned to face Sehun. “What is it?”

“About what I said last night…”

“Did you change your mind?”

Sehun looked back at Kai like he had just been stung. He shook his head. “No, I haven’t. But maybe… I did not say everything in a way that I should have.”

“You do not have to try and sugarcoat what you really want to say, Sehun,” said Kai. “It is better that you said what you needed to say the way you said it.”

“Are you mad?”

Kai licked his lips, swallowing. “I’m… disappointed. That I actually do not have that many options. You said it yourself. You will remove yourself from the way if I made it seem like you were the reason I do not want to take a bride. And quite frankly, I don’t have any other reason apart from the fact that I love _you_.”

He raised a hand to cup a side of Sehun’s head, stroking his hair.

“Sometimes, my love for you is not enough,” he said. Sehun lowered his gaze, unable to meet Kai’s eyes. “All that I ever think about is you. But all that _you_ ever think about is me. So, if this is what will make you happy, I will do it. If this is the only way I can be with you without everyone trying to rip us apart, I will fulfil the prophecy.”

Sehun leaned forward and dropped his head against Kai’s shoulder. “What is this prophecy exactly?”

Over the years, Kai had figured out what it truly meant, and what his grandparents were pushing for. “As the fourth male heir in the Blackthorne line, I will apparently sire enough children or grandchildren to bring carnage.”

Sehun pulled back, eyes widening. “What?”

“My children will have to feed, won’t they?”

He noticed the way Sehun flinched at _‘my_ children’. “That sounds… horrible.”

“Well, it is what you promised my grandparents. I hope you are happy.” Kai turned away with a stoic face and left Sehun to brood on his own.

* * *

Things were not the same after his grandparents’ visit. Kai appeared to be more distant and colder, so that he could actually do what he had agreed to do when the time came.

Sehun, on the other hand, was recovering fast and trying to wrap his head around what _he_ had agreed to. What he had pushed Kai to do.

Some nights, Kai did not bother to go back to the room he shared with Sehun. It was better this way. The more he could separate from Sehun, the easier it would be for the both of them when he had to take someone else. Kai dreaded the day.

But at least, once he was done, he would be able to go back to Sehun and live peacefully with him. Although he was sure that nothing would be the same. He would have become a father, but none of his children would be Sehun’s.

Perhaps it would be better if Sehun left him after all. Perhaps Kai would be doing Sehun a favour if he let go of the boy now. It would not be fair to make Sehun wait. It would not be fair to ask Sehun to endure all this.

Except that he was not asking Sehun of anything. Sehun was the one who had wanted this. So, Kai really had no say in anything.

In absolutely anything. Fantastic.

A few nights later, he decided to go back to his and Sehun’s room. Mostly because he madly missed Sehun, and it was killing him to spend each day drawing himself further away from the boy.

Even then, his heart was always with Sehun. His thoughts were always full of Sehun every second of the day.

“Master,” Justus called, catching him on the stairs. “This came in for you today.”

Kai arched an eyebrow as he took the letter from Justus’ hand. It was addressed to him. Kai immediately wondered if it were from his father.

“Thanks, Justus,” he muttered and proceeded up to his room.

Sehun was still up when he walked into the room. He was sitting in front of the fireplace, arms loosely wrapped around his legs. He looked up at Kai with a longing gaze before quickly looking away, staring at the fire.

Kai sat down on the bed and opened the letter. As he perused its content, he felt his heart drop to his stomach.

Sehun must have noticed the distress in Kai’s expression because he asked, “What is it?”

Kai glanced over to him with a frown before he rose from the bed and walked over to the fireplace. He then handed Sehun the letter. While Sehun read it, he raised his elbows to the mantelshelf above the fireplace and rested his forehead against his clasped hands.

“Oh,” was all that Sehun said once he was done reading.

Kai turned around and faced him with a set of furrowed brows and a clenched jaw. “It seems that they have found a prospective candidate… to mother my child.”

It was then when he saw that Sehun was trying to hold back a sob as he stared into the fire, the letter idled in his trembling hand.

“She is on her way here,” Kai said. “Sehun, are you really all right with all of this? With me… fucking someone else?”

Because even the idea of Sehun being with someone else under a similar circumstance maddened Kai so much.

Sehun’s arms tightened around his legs. After a long moment of silence, he shook his head, the tears in his eyes glinting fiercely against the colours of the fire.

Kai dropped to his knees before Sehun. “We will find some other way,” he said then desperately.

“You are welcome to try,” said Sehun in a monotonous voice. “But you will only anger your family more.”

“Fuck them,” said Kai. “I don’t care if I’m lonely for the rest of my life after you’re gone. But I cannot watch you… go through this.”

Sehun rose from the ground and started for the bed. Kai rose with him and grabbed his arm to stop him.

“What is it, Kai?” Sehun spat then, turning to Kai with a scowl.

“You are not going to stop me, are you?” asked Kai.

“I have never felt more worthless,” said Sehun. “than I have in the last couple of weeks. With the… miscarriage, with your family calling me a roach. Who am I to stop you? Why should I stop you?”

Kai gritted his teeth then, tightening his grip around Sehun’s arm until the boy winced in discomfort. “You know what?” he spat, annoyed, tired, and frankly, furious. “I am tired of trying for the both of us. I always do what I think is best for _you_.”

Sehun’s eyes bulged out as he stared at Kai.

“I always try to give you everything _you_ want, whatever that _you_ ask of me,” Kai snarled. “But if you are willing to give me up just like that, then maybe you are better off without me. Maybe I am not strong enough to fight for us. You should leave. I will handle my problems on my own.”

He released Sehun’s arm and started to stomp away.

“Kai,” Sehun gasped then. “Wh-What d-do you… mean?”

Kai faced Sehun again with a glower. “Leave! Get out of my house. Leave this city. Go wherever the fuck you want. Find someone less complicated than me. You can stop worrying about my future. You can stop worrying about me altogether, and you can stop belittling my love for you.”

“I do not belittle your—”

“Be honest. You are scared. Scared of what would happen if I do not do as my family bids me to. Scared of how lonely I would be once you’re gone. Scared of what would happen to you if you were the reason why I do not do what is expected of me. Scared of marrying me. Scared of being with me without having anything to offer. You will never believe that I actually just love _you_ for _you_. I never expected anything of you. But all that you have ever done is insult my affection for you by not believing that it is unconditional.”

A tear rolled down Sehun’s cheek. “Kai…”

“I do not want you to be a part of my problems if you are that scared,” Kai spat then. “Leave if you are not willing to fight for me like how I will fight for you with my last breath.”

With that, Kai left, panting and huffing. All that he could see in that moment was red. He went straight into the city and looked for some human blood. There was no one around. Just dogs. So, he killed a dog and drank its blood while he waited for someone to come out to the streets.

He never should have kissed Sehun in the woods that night. He could have saved them both this heartbreak.

He had to make the right decision. And the right decision would be to let Sehun go. The boy never should have been a part of Kai’s twisted, cruel world. After all, he was just a human and there was only so much a human boy could take when brought into the world of vampires. There were murders, prophecies, traditions, misanthropy, and a whole lot of crazy to handle. And Kai had barely introduced Sehun to any of it.

It would be better this way. Sehun had to leave.

They could never be together. Even when Kai had thought that having a child together would mean that they would be closer than ever, the universe refused him.

* * *

# C H A P T E R T W E L V E

_“What is that?”_ Sehun asked from where he was sitting on the bed one day when Kai returned home with a packaged bundle. It had been a couple of days since Sehun had announced his pregnancy. Perhaps Kai was getting ahead of himself by already thinking so much about the baby that was on the way, but he could not help it.

He turned away from the wardrobe he was stuffing the newly bought socks in. _“Socks. Baby socks. I got some from the general store.”_ He held up a tiny sock that would only fit a tiny foot.

Sehun made a face at him. _“What? Why are you going around buying baby socks?”_

Kai shrugged, turning back to the wardrobe to carefully place all the socks on a shelf along with Sehun’s other socks. _“I should be prepared.”_

_“Prepared?” _Sehun chuckled. _“For what exactly?”_

_“Your toes get cold easily. The baby’s might, too.”_

_“It is too early to be getting the baby socks,”_ said Sehun. _“He is not coming out anytime soon.”_

_“And that is a good thing. I would have gathered enough socks by the time he is here.”_

_“He? What if it’s a she?”_

_“Oh, yeah. Okay. He or she.”_

Sehun smiled at him. There was something different about him nowadays. He looked happier.

_“By the way,”_ Kai then said, crawling into the bed and pulling Sehun close. _“No more running errands or doing chores for Justus or your grandaunt.”_

Sehun frowned. _“Why not?”_

_“I don’t want you exerting yourself.”_ Kai slid a hand across Sehun’s belly. _“Whatever you need, you tell me, okay?”_

Sehun carded his fingers through Kai’s hair, sighing. _“You don’t have to worry so much.”_

_“But I do. I want you and the baby to be safe. I’d do anything to keep you both safe.”_

* * *

Sehun came down to breakfast today. It had been nearly a week since their fight. Since Kai had told him to leave. They had not talked to each other since. They had not even seen each other since. Kai had actively avoided going to the bedroom. So, he spent most of his time in the library, the empty baby nursery, or in one of the guestrooms.

It was mistake deciding to have breakfast in the dining room. He should not have let himself be tempted by the crisp scent of freshly baked boysenberry pies.

It was a good thing, he supposed, that he still craved some human food.

As soon as Sehun walked into the dining room, he halted abruptly and stared at Kai, who was seated at the end of the table with his head in his hand, fingers massaging his temples.

Sehun then heaved a sigh and turned on his heel to leave.

“Where are you going?” Kai asked, scowling.

Sehun turned around and faced him again with a look that felt like a punch to the gut. “I figured… you would not want to eat with me.”

Kai scoffed, leaning back in his chair. “You are right, even though you are so adept at assuming all the wrong things all the time.”

Sehun looked at hurt by that. “I’ll just… go.”

“No,” Kai spat then, jolting up to his feet. As he stormed past Sehun, he said, “You stay. Eat. I’ll go.”

He could feel Sehun’s frown on his back as he walked away. He went up to the bedroom and took a bath while Sehun was in the dining room.

When he stepped out of the bathing room, he found Sehun seated on the edge of their bed with a plate of pie in his hands.

Kai clenched his teeth and walked over to the wardrobe with a towel tied around his waist.

“You did not have to do that,” he muttered, rummaging through the wardrobe for some clothes. He had not changed in days. He had not felt like coming back here.

He heard the floorboards creak behind him before he felt a pair of skinny, warm arms wrap around his body from behind.

Kai stilled, drawing in a sharp breath as Sehun pressed a side of his face against his shoulder blade. His cheek was so hot against Kai’s cold back.

“If you really want me to leave,” Sehun whispered, the tears on his cheek wetting Kai’s back. “then I will leave. I never… meant to hurt you, Kai. I want to… protect you, too. I just did not want you to be… put in a situation where you have to go against your family… for me.”

It still did not sound like Sehun had changed his mind, though.

“I love you. I love you so much that I can’t bear this, Kai. I can’t bear your silence. I can’t bear this distance.”

Kai shut his eyes momentarily, just enjoying the warmth of Sehun’s skin on his body, which he had missed so dearly. “All my life,” he then said in a low voice. “I have only loved one. I have always only loved you. I have never even imagined myself with anyone else. I’ve only dreamed of you. But now, you and everyone else want me to… erase all those dreams and do something… so perverted that I can’t even wrap my head around it.”

Sehun withdrew his arms from Kai’s waist and took a step back. Kai turned around to meet the boy’s bloodshot eyes. “Is there another way?” asked Sehun, smiling sadly.

“My grandparents will make sure that they hunt me down wherever I go if we ran away,” said Kai, his tone as dull as the sky that hovered above Caerdorne. “They will try to hurt you to hurt me. They will have their bloodline go on no matter what.”

“And I cannot do that,” said Sehun. “I cannot bear you a child who would carry _your_ name.”

“We do not know that,” said Kai.

Sehun shook his head. “Even if by some miracle, it happens, the child would be more human than vampire. Your family will not be okay with that.”

Kai sighed. “I really am left with no options. Not if I want you to be safe.”

Sehun closed the distance between them again and raised his hands to the sides of Kai’s face. “It is not that I will not fight for you, Kai,” he said gently. “But I am scared. And this is the only way that I can fight for you and for us. By… enduring what is about to happen. I will be here, Kai. I will be here for you and with you. We will get through this together. Unless… you do not want that. Then… I will leave, like you asked me to.”

Kai almost leaned in to kiss Sehun in that moment.

But the knock on the door had them pulling away from each other. “Master?” called Justus.

“What is it?” Kai grumbled.

“You have visitors.”

Kai blinked. “Who?”

“I am not sure,” said Justus nervously. “But she… looks like one of you.”

_She? One of you?_

Kai glanced to Sehun, who looked confused. Then sighing, Kai clothed himself in a pair of black trousers and a maroon shirt before he headed out of the room.

“Come,” he told Sehun. “You said you would be by my side through this whole ridiculous thing, didn’t you?”

Sehun followed him with a worried frown.

As they wended their way down the staircase, they found a woman, clad in a long, flowy moss-green gown, in the entrance hall, glancing around the room, like she was taking note of every crevice on the wall.

“It is a nice place you have here,” she said without looking to Kai, who was still descending the stairs. “Though it could certainly do much better without all this human scent and the heat from the hearths.”

She finally turned to Kai, who stopped at the bottom of the staircase, slipping his hands into the pockets of his pants. They took a moment to muster one another, studying their appearances. The woman was tall, nearly as tall as Kai. And she was clearly older than he was. Kai was not sure about her real age, but in the human years, she could easily pass for a 45-year-old.

Her dark, luscious hair cascaded all the way down to her wide hips. Her lips were painted red, almost as dark as the colour of blood. Her skin was as pale as snow, her eyes lined with kohl.

“You are quite handsome,” said the woman, her red lips quirking into a smirk.

Kai sighed. “Are you the woman my grandparents wrote to me about? Don’t get me wrong, but you don’t really seem like you are in your prime birthing years.”

He was being mean. He did not really care.

The woman laughed. “No. Although I would love to take my chances with you.”

Kai could feel Sehun shuddering behind him.

“I am Rania,” the woman said next. “Blackthorne.”

Kai blinked. “I have never seen you before.”

“I do not like to join the soirees our family hosts every year in Rogaena. I am a traveller. It is the best time of the year to travel to the usually sunny places.”

“How are we related?” asked Kai.

“I believe your father and I are second cousins.”

Kai arched an eyebrow. “What are you doing here if you are not here for…”

“Oh.” She turned around and stilled, as though she were waiting for someone to walk in through the front door. And a girl eventually did.

She looked far younger than Rania, dressed in a tight black gown, her lips the same colour as the other woman. Her hair, however, was not as dark as Rania’s. It was a faint brown. She was pretty, Kai thought.

“Grace, dear, come here and say hi,” said Rania. The girl walked over to the older woman’s side and glanced at Kai. “This is my daughter, Grace.” Rania grinned a devilish grin. “And I can assure you that she is in her _prime birthing years._”

Kai held his breath for a moment. Part of him wanted to spin around, grab Sehun’s hand and run away from there as fast as he could.

“Go and introduce yourself, darling,” Rania told her daughter.

Grace looked embarrassed as she stepped forward. She stopped midway, however, expecting Kai to advance the rest of the way and take her hand and kiss it, like a gentleman would.

Kai stood his ground, though, jaw clenched. He kept his clammy hands in his pockets as he surveyed the girl and her mother.

“We are cousins,” Kai said at length, swallowing hard. “Are we not?”

Grace glanced back to her mother with a confused look.

“Yes, you are. Very far cousins,” said Rania. “Is there a problem with that?”

Kai had never hated his grandparents more. So, this was how they planned on strengthening the Blackthorne bloodline again.

He wanted to ask Rania how she was so comfortable with pimping her daughter out like this. But then again, the woman was a Blackthorne, so she was probably flattered and honoured to offer her daughter up for the fulfilment of an ancestral prophecy.

“Isn’t she beautiful?” said Rania with a proud smile, placing her hands on Grace’s shoulders. “I’m sure you two would like to get to know each other a little better. So, why don’t we sit down and break the ice?”

Kai’s expression hardened, but he kept himself from making any more rude remarks. “The drawing room is this way.” He directed them towards the hallway.

“Your servant might want to help the other one outside. There is quite a bit of trunks in the carriage,” said Rania, nodding her head toward Sehun, before she ushered Grace to the drawing room.

Once they were gone, Kai breathed again and turned around to face Sehun, who looked so ashen that he resembled a ghost. He lowered his gaze and rubbed an arm with a hand.

“She is… charming,” he whispered, as though he wanted to console (or convince) Kai somehow. “Very beautiful.”

“She is, isn’t she? So, should I just marry her already?” Kai spat at him furiously. Then shaking his head, he stomped away from Sehun and headed for the drawing room.

_She is charming!_ _Sodding hell, Sehun_. Kai understood that Sehun was trying to make things easier for him, but for once, Kai would love to see Sehun take what was his. He wanted Sehun to assert the right he had on his lover. Kai was his. He belonged to Sehun. It annoyed him to think that if it had been Sehun who were put in this position, Kai would have gone raging mad, and he would have risked death itself to keep Sehun to himself.

Perhaps Sehun was just exhausted. After all that has happened, maybe he was just too tired to do anything other than exclude himself from this debacle. Kai should not be so harsh on him for not wanting to be sucked into Kai’s family problems.

It probably would not make things any better if Sehun reacted strongly to everything that was going on.

He joined Rania and her daughter in the drawing room. They both had seated themselves on the chaise lounge, both imitating each other’s grace and poise.

“Where is your… father?” Kai asked as he took a seat across them. “Do I know him perhaps?”

“He was also a Blackthorne, but I’m afraid he is no longer alive,” sighed Rania. “He was attacked by a pack of _Wulvers_ during one of his hunts.”

Kai chewed on his lower lip for a moment, looking over to Grace, who was staring at him. She quickly averted her gaze and blushed. Not enough to make her cheeks redden, though.

Exhaling heavily, Kai leaned forward, planting elbows on his knees. “I do not know how much my grandparents have told you about… all of this. I am not looking for a relationship. Or a marriage to your daughter.”

“I am aware,” said Rania. “We are both aware. But we must do what we must to ensure the continued existence of the Blackthorne line. I will leave my daughter here with you until you have what you want. If you still do not wish to get married, you do not have to. But hearts do change.”

Kai scoffed, smiling. “Oh, things would be so much less complicated if only they could.”

Rania’s brows rose as a sinister smile took over her lips. “I will have you know that she is not untainted,” she then said, draping an arm over Grace’s shoulders.

Oh, what Kai would not have given to escape this conversation.

“I do not care,” he said, leaning back again. “How old is she?”

“Twenty-four. So, she is quite fertile. She will bear you all the children you want, Kai.”

Kai tried hard not to let his disgust show in his face.

“And what of the child?” asked Rania. “Who will be its primary caretaker, if you do not marry my daughter?”

“I do not care about that either,” Kai said. “My grandparents are the ones who wanted this. So, maybe they would be happy to raise the child and teach it all of their demonic, barbaric ways.”

Except that Kai did not mean it. It would be his child nevertheless. Would he actually be able to completely ignore it? Would he be able to live on knowing that he was not there for his child?

“My little Gracie will not be responsible for _your_ child once it is born,” said Rania then in a sterner voice. Kai stared at her in surprise.

“You don’t want to keep the child?” he was asking Grace now.

The girl sat up straighter and shook her head. “I do not wish to raise it on my own if you are not going to marry me,” she said. She had a sweet voice, but her tone was as harsh as her mother’s.

This was a new revelation. Kai had always assumed that the mother of the child would want to have some claim on the child. But if Grace did not want to hold any responsibility for the child they might have together, this might offer other opportunities.

“I will have my servant show you to your rooms,” Kai then said, rising to his feet. “I do not stock the house with blood. What do you prefer? Human or animal?”

“Human, of course,” said Grace, laughing.

Kai licked his lips. “I only bring animals back home.”

Grace exchanged a glance with her mother. “Do you not kill humans?”

“I do not,” said Kai. “It is a matter of principle.”

Rania grinned then. “You have to adore a man of principles,” she said. “Animal blood will do for now.”

* * *

He impatiently tapped his foot on the floorboards from where he sat on the edge of the bed while he waited for Sehun once he returned from the hunt with a deer. He told Justus to harvest the dead deer, so that they could have roasted venison and deer blood tonight.

When Sehun eventually walked into the room after hours, smelling like the outside air, Kai shot up from the bed. “Where were you?”

Sehun removed the scarf from his neck and said, “I went for a walk.”

He must have cried. His eyes were all puffy and swollen.

“How… did it go… with Rania and her daughter?” Sehun asked, walking away from Kai to warm his hands by the fireplace.

Kai rubbed the back of his neck. “Actually, not as bad as I thought it would.”

Sehun knelt down before the fireplace and held his hands out.

Kai sighed and walked over to him. “Sehun,” he called gently. “I’m sorry I have been so… harsh to you lately.”

Sehun said nothing for a long moment. Then in a shaky voice, he said, “Is the girl… Grace nice?”

Kai frowned. “She is… civil. Like her mother is. They both sound so… professional like this is some sort of a business.”

Sehun looked up at him then with a bewildered gaze. “What? They do?”

“Yes.” Kai sat down on the floor next to Sehun. “And they… are fine with me not marrying Grace. She does not even want to keep the child.”

Sehun pinned Kai with a long, painstaking stare then. “She doesn’t?”

“No,” Kai let out with a small smile. “I was wondering if… you would want to… raise the child with me.”

Sehun’s face wilted in a way Kai had not expected it to. Immediately, Kai regretted what he had just asked. Clearly, he had made the wrong calculations.

Sehun looked away miserably. “The child who would bring carnage according to your prophecy?” he murmured under his breath. “A child that would mostly be a vampire? How could a human like me raise a child like that?”

“Sehun, it’s not like that,” said Kai. “We have always wanted a child.”

Sehun closed his eyes and began to cry. “I wanted to… give you that child,” he said. “I don’t want Grace to…” he trailed off, dropping his face into his palms.

Kai was stumped and dumbstruck. He had wrongly thought that Sehun would be happy about the prospect of them raising Kai’s child together. But he had not thought of how this might hurt Sehun instead.

“I did not mean to insinuate that you are not giving me what I want, Sehun,” Kai said. “But this child… will be _mine_. Isn’t that you wanted? Isn’t that what you told me to do? For me to… have this child with someone else?”

Sehun was silent again. Then meeting Kai’s eyes again, he sorrowfully said, “But… it won’t be… me. It won’t be any… part of me.”

“_You_ are already a part of me,” said Kai, taking hold of Sehun’s hands. “_You_ are the most human part of me. The child might not be ours. You would not have borne it they way you want to. But we could all become a family. Somehow. You won’t be on the side. You will be one of the child’s parents. Is that so bad?”

Sehun swallowed and shook his head. “I suppose not,” he let out, his hands trembling in Kai’s. “I just… always dreamed that… our child would be a token of… _our_ love.”

Kai did not know what to say to that. It was true that the child would not be born out of love. Because Kai could ever only love Sehun. He did not even know if he could do it with Grace. She was beautiful and everything, but Kai did not know if he could make a baby with her.

* * *

When he went back down for dinner, he brought Sehun with him. The table was filled with food. Venison roasted with herbs, potatoes, peas and a pitcher of deer blood.

“I’m sorry I’m late,” Kai said to the two women seated at the table.

“It is no trouble,” said Rania. “Why is there human food on the table, though?”

Kai glanced to Sehun, who looked nervous. “I am part human,” said Kai. “I do enjoy human food. And… this is Sehun. My lover.”

Grace’s eyes widened, but her mother remained calm. Kai wondered if she had already known about this. “A human lover?” she said. “Interesting. Is he the reason why you do not wish to marry my daughter even though she promised you children?”

Kai sat down at the table and made sure that Sehun was sitting right next to him. Taking his seat, Sehun stared at Grace. Not in a hostile way, but like he was studying her. After a moment, he looked away embarrassedly.

“I just wanted Grace to know this,” sighed Kai. “This is the person I love. And the person I would like to raise my child with.”

Rania laughed at that. “You want to raise a Blackthorne heir with a… puny human?”

Kai scowled at her. “You do not want the child, anyway. So, why do you care whom I raise it with?”

Rania took a sip of the blood from her cup. “Like father like son, I suppose.”

Kai kept his cool, squeezing Sehun’s unusually cold hand under the table.

“You know your father was given the same alternative as you have been given,” said Rania. “He could have saved your mother if only he had chosen to marry a vampire, as your grandparents had urged him to. But instead, he insisted on staying loyal to your mother. I see that you are not as foolish as him.”

“What happened to my mother was not his fault. He could not have known what would happen if she had me,” said Kai.

“Except that he did,” laughed Rania. “She was so weak when I met her once. She was carrying you. You were a big baby, so her belly looked like it was going to explode. She could barely walk. Everyone knew she would either die at childbirth or before, carrying you. But… she somehow survived.”

Kai arched an eyebrow. “She died giving birth to me.”

Rania took another sip. “The midwife who your grandfather had sent to see your mother through her labour would say otherwise.”

Kai’s hand had gone numb in Sehun’s. He stared at the woman across him unblinkingly while his heart thundered in his throat.

“The thing about travelling everywhere all the time is that,” said Rania. “you hear a lot of things.”

Sehun’s fingers tightened around Kai’s hand, as though he were bracing Kai for some bad news.

“What… have you heard?” Kai asked, his voice almost a hoarse whisper.

“That your mother survived,” scoffed the woman. “She was alive for hours after giving birth to you. The midwife your grandfather had sent… had poisoned her. And she died. Everyone thought that your father would take a second wife after she was gone, perhaps one that would not die so easily. Once bitten, twice shy, you know. Or at least, that was the plan, I suppose.”

Kai could only hear his own heartbeat drumming in his ears for a while. He was not even sure if he were breathing.

“Kai,” he then heard Sehun call his name in a sad, soft voice.

Kai pulled his hand away from Sehun and stood up. “You are bluffing,” he told Rania, eyes stinging with tears.

“I am not,” she said. “I am trying to warn you. Being a Blackthorne has its costs. Your human lover is very pretty. He should not have to suffer the same fate your mother did.”

“D-Does my… father know?” Kai stuttered out, panting hard. He could not breathe.

“I would assume that he does. But he blames it all on himself. He has no one to hold accountable for what had happened to his wife than himself because he knew… he knew what he was dragging her into.”

Kai did not remain there a minute longer after hearing that. As he rushed out of the dining room with a sob choking his throat, Sehun quickly hurried after him.

“Kai.”

He did not stop until he reached his room. He then held his head in his hands and paced a hole into the bedroom floor, eyes and throat burning.

“Kai,” Sehun rasped, shutting the bedroom door when he caught up to Kai. “Oh, God. Kai…”

He grabbed hold of Kai’s hands and pulled away from his head. “You have to go,” Kai blurted out, tears rolling down his cheeks. “Sehun, I never should have kissed you all those years ago. I never should have dragged you into this. They are going to hurt you. Just like they hurt my mother.”

He was spiralling. His heart was galloping so fast that it might jump out of his chest. He was crying in anger, in agony.

“Kai, please, no one is going to hurt me,” Sehun said, trying to cup Kai’s face in his hands. His own eyes were glassy with tears. “Look at me. Calm down.”

Kai pulled away, snarling and baring his fangs as he gripped his hair in his hands. Sehun stepped back, startled. “This is my fault. This will all be my fault.”

“Kai,” Sehun let out, trying to touch Kai again. “This is not your fault. Nothing has happened to me.”

“Not yet,” said Kai grievously. “But if they could hurt my mother after all those years… they could still do it to you.”

He had accused Sehun of being scared. But right now, after hearing what had actually happened to his mother, Kai had never been more scared.

He knew that if anything happened Sehun, he too would blame himself for the rest of his life like his father had.

“Look at me, please,” Sehun begged, taking hold of Kai’s face again. “I am not going anywhere.” He leaned in and kissed away the tears on Kai’s cheeks before drew Kai in for a hug. “I’m so sorry about your mother.”

Kai buried his face in Sehun’s shoulder and sobbed while Sehun stroked his back. “I would never… forgive myself if something like that… happened to you, Sehun. Never.”

Sehun was silent for a while as he combed his fingers through Kai’s hair at the back of his head. Then in a sombre voice, he said, “I won’t let that happen. I won’t let you blame yourself… for anything.”

* * *

# C H A P T E R T H I R T E E N

For the first time in weeks, they slept on the same bed that night, though not in each other’s arms. Kai stuck to his side of the bed and Sehun slept on his. They were both too tired and too confused to speak about anything more. It was as though the universe was not planning on giving them a break anytime soon.

Kai began to wonder again if they really were wrong for each other.

He sat up in the middle of the night and stared at the dying embers on the hearth. At his side, Sehun was fast asleep, almost as serenely as a baby. Kai wanted to loom over to him and give him a kiss, but he did not.

Instead, he rose from the bed and wandered into the bathing room to give his face a rinse. Cupping up some cold water from the basin, he splashed it onto his face and heaved a big breath.

All this while, he had wondered why his father never took someone else after his mother had passed on. He supposed no man could move on with a guilt that heavy on his shoulders. Kai knew he certainly would not be able to move on if he were the reason something terrible happened to Sehun.

Kai took a little relief in knowing that his mother had survived the childbirth, and he was not the reason she had died. Well, not completely. Would she have left Kai’s father, the man she had loved, if she had known about her dreadful fate beforehand?

She would have gotten to hold Kai in her arms before she died, would she? Kai smiled at that thought. He should thank Rania for telling him the truth at last. But at the same time, he wished that she had not because now, he would have to spend the rest of his life worrying for Sehun.

When he stepped out of the bathing room, he found Sehun sitting up on the bed, eyes still leaden with sleep. “Did I wake you?” Kai asked with a tired sigh.

Sehun took a moment to look up at him, and when he did, he looked both sober and drowsy at the same time. “Kai,” he called in a sultry, drunk voice. “Will you… make love to me once before… you and Grace…”

He trailed off, and Kai was thankful that he did. He did not want to hear it coming from Sehun’s mouth.

“What?”

Sehun blinked away the tears in his eyes and mustered a small, faint, forced smile. “I just want you… tonight. This might be the last night I won’t have to… share you with someone else.”

Kai stared at him for a stretch. Then licking his lips, he yanked the shirt off and dropped it onto the floor before climbing into the bed. Sehun reclined on the bed and raised his hands to Kai’s chest as Kai hovered on top of him.

Their breathing was already quickening, falling in a harmonious sync.

Kai cupped a side of Sehun’s face gently after shoving the blankets aside. “Are you sure?” he asked in a whisper. “Are you okay with doing this… now?”

Sehun nodded, dragging his hands to Kai’s back. They burned there. In spite of everything, Kai needed Sehun, too. Even though they were at wits’ end, even when everything around them was going to shit, Kai longed to feel Sehun’s body rock against his own again. He wanted to be inside Sehun, be wrapped in his warmth.

Kai positioned himself between Sehun’s legs before he sat up, hauling Sehun up with him, arms grappled around Sehun’s waist.

Seating himself on Kai’s lap, Sehun wrapped his arms around Kai’s shoulders and lightly held onto the back of Kai’s neck. He then slowly raised onto his knees, fingers playing with the hairs near Kai’s nape, his body arching into Kai’s. His parted lips were panting for air, his hot breath grazing Kai’s mouth teasingly.

“I lied,” Sehun whispered then, his lips almost brushing Kai’s. Kai was so aroused that he was barely listening to what the boy was saying. He ran his hands up and down the sides of Sehun’s torso, wanting to tear every article of clothes he was wearing from Sehun’s scorching body.

“Lied?” Kai echoed breathlessly, sliding his hands along the curve of Sehun’s ass now.

“When I said that… I would not marry you,” Sehun breathed out, pulling one of his hands away from Kai’s neck to tug at the laces of his shirt. “I would. If you asked. In a heartbeat.”

Kai yanked Sehun’s hand away from the laces. Then reaching up to smash his mouth against his lover’s, he ripped Sehun’s shirt apart until it was pathetically hanging onto Sehun’s shoulders and arms, torn and ruined.

Sehun gasped into the kiss, hips rocking forward, hands fisting themselves in Kai’s hair, as Kai kissed him fiercely. Fuck, how he had missed the taste and heat of Sehun’s mouth.

He knew he was going to bruise Sehun’s lips if he kept kissing him this hungrily. But he could not hold himself back. Sehun easily gave up the access into his mouth when Kai demanded it with a growl, biting the boy’s plump lower lip. A small moan broke from Sehun’s throat when Kai’s tongue slithered into his mouth, licking the ridge of it, pressing against his own tongue in a viciously obscene orchestration.

Kai then slid his hands past Sehun’s torn shirt and grabbed the sides of Sehun’s waist, hoisting him up a little so that he could suck on his sweet, pink nipples. Sehun’s fingers tightened around the strands of Kai’s hair as Kai’s tongue lapped at one of his nipples before he sucked on it until it hardened under his tongue.

“Kai…” Sehun moaned loudly, throwing his head back for a moment as Kai nipped at the skin surrounding the nipple, leaving delicious red marks behind on Sehun’s creamy skin.

Over the years, they had grown so comfortable with each other’s bodies that there almost no boundaries between them when it came to lovemaking. Kai knew Sehun’s body better than his own. He knew all of Sehun’s sensitive spots. Like his nipples, the spot near his collarbone, his neck. Fuck, the way Sehun just turned soft and weak in Kai’s arms as soon as Kai kissed his neck.

Picking Sehun up, he dropped the boy to lie down on the bed before he hurriedly tore the rest of Sehun’s clothes off. Even the socks this time. And while he did it, he raised Sehun’s foot to his lips and peppered the sole with some kisses before he swirled his tongue around Sehun’s toes, sucking each and every one of them. With his free hand, he undid the laces of his trousers.

Sehun watched him with intent and embarrassment while Kai licked all over his foot. Then planting one last kiss on the sole, Kai brought Sehun’s foot to his chest and let it slide down his abdomen. Sehun exhaled heavily, biting on his swollen lip.

He sat up and went on all fours when Kai lowered his trousers and fisted his rapidly hardening member. Sehun clossed his hand around the pulsating shaft and looked up at Kai once before his tongue darted out of his mouth to lick along the cockslit. Kai’s eyes rolled back, and he saw stars for a second. Sehun knew what Kai’s body liked, too.

In fact, he knew exactly what floated Kai’s boat. And hell, his mouth felt so good. So wet, so warm. It was not the only part of him that was this good, though.

“Fuck, Sehun,” Kai groaned when the boy finally wrapped his lips around the cockhead and sucked on it while his tongue still flicked against the slit. And the sight before Kai made him harden all the faster. Sehun was on his knees and hands without a single thing covering his supple, milky-white body. His spine was arched away toward the bed, his ass sticking out so round and deliciously.

Thrusting into Sehun’s mouth until the top of his cock was pressed against the back of Sehun’s throat, Kai bent forward and ran a hand along Sehun’s smooth back all the way down to his protruding tailbone. Sehun choked on a moan along with Kai’s cock as Kai slid a finger down the cleft of his ass. Sehun was the warmest here. Kai licked his lips, thrusting in and out of Sehun’s mouth while his fingers rubbed the puckered rim of muscles. He withdrew his fingers to suck on them, wetting them with some saliva, before he brought them back to stroke Sehun’s warm opening, smearing it with his spit.

Fuck, he could not wait to be inside Sehun already.

Pulling out of Sehun’s mouth, Kai grabbed hold of Sehun’s face and drew him up for a hard, sloppy kiss. Then as he momentarily climbed out of the bed to shimmy out of his trousers, Sehun fell back on the bed and turned to lie on his stomach. He panted and blushed as Kai straddled him from behind, kissing him all over his shoulder blades before he slithered lower, leaving a trail of kisses along the spine.

“Kai… Ah…” he moaned softly and bit into the pillow when Kai licked his tailbone before sucking on it.

“On your knees,” Kai exhaled, breathing laboriously. Sehun did as he was told and rose to his knees, though the rest of his body was rested on the bed. He buried his face into the pillow and groaned when Kai slid his tongue down his ass cleft, hands stroking the sides of his thighs.

This was probably the most sensitive part of Sehun’s body. Every time Kai ate him out, Sehun just melted into a pile of moans and cries. Kai spat into the cleft before licking the spit up and tonguing the pink, warm opening.

Sehun drew a hand down his own body, playing with his own nipples while Kai sucked on him, prodding the tip of his tongue into his opening every now and then. He then reached back and grabbed Kai’s head, fingers entangling themselves in Kai’s hair as Kai licked the orifice.

“Fuck, you taste so good, Sehun,” Kai rasped eventually and gave the ass cleft a few more swipes of his tongue before he straightened up. Taking hold of his erection, he rubbed the tip of it against Sehun’s opening, teasing it and himself. He bowed his head and spat onto the ass cleft before smearing the spit all over the opening with his cockhead. Then tossing his head back for a moment, Kai groaned, stroking his shaft along Sehun’s ass.

“Kai…” Sehun whimpered pleadingly. “Inside me… Please…”

He was more out of breath than Kai was. As Kai reached for the oil canister in the bedside drawer, Sehun rolled over to his back and held his knees wide apart.

With some spit and oil, Kai eventually slid into Sehun and leaned forward to kiss Sehun full on the mouth. Sehun kissed him back with twice the vigour, legs instantly locking around Kai’s waist.

“Harder,” the boy begged in gasps, even though he were still too tight for Kai to move inside him without hurting him. “Kai, please…”

Kai kept his pace steady nonetheless. Slow at first. Then as he sucked on Sehun’s neck, leaving splotches of love marks on his skin, he picked up the pace of his thrusts. Sehun broke into a string of loud, hearty moans, dragging his fingernails down Kai’s back hard enough to mark him.

When he noticed that Sehun was crying, tears trickling down the corners of his eyes, Kai stopped and cupped Sehun’s cheek. “Am I hurting you?” he asked, panicked.

Sehun shook his head. “No. No, you’re not.” He forced another smile and reached up to kiss Kai.

“Are you all right?” Kai inquired worriedly.

“Yes. Please. Don’t stop,”

Kai slowed down then. He pulled out of Sehun to turn the boy so that he was lying on his side. Kai then settled behind Sehun and slid back into him, a hand splayed on Sehun’s belly. With Sehun’s back pinned against his chest, Kai slowly began to thrust again.

When he hit Sehun in his sweet spot, the boy leaned his head back against Kai’s shoulder and moaned ferally, chest heaving hard. Kai held onto him and thrust in and out of him a little faster as Sehun edged towards his climax.

“Bite me,” Sehun mewled, lifting a hand to clutch at Kai’s hair.

“What?”

“Please… Bite me…”

Kai leered at the side of Sehun’s neck that the boy was baring for him. It was so tempting. So beautiful. He felt his fangs push through his gums before he latched them to Sehun’s neck. He did not go far enough to puncture Sehun’s veins. Just deep enough to break the boy’s skin there and taste a bit of blood.

Fuck, it was the first time Kai had ever tasted Sehun’s blood in all these years. Even a drop of it managed to sate all of Kai’s hunger.

Sehun cried as he arched back into Kai’s body as he came, hard and explosively. Kai licked the small rivulet of blood that slid down Sehun’s shoulder, thrusting harder into Sehun before he too reached his peak and came inside Sehun.

He did not withdraw his arms from around Sehun as they caught their breaths, coming down from their high. Kai did not bother to pull out of Sehun.

Sehun had told him once that he liked falling asleep with Kai still buried inside him. He said that he always managed to sleep like a baby during those nights.

Kai gently caressed Sehun’s thigh, drawing his fingers along the side of Sehun’s waist. “I will never have this,” Kai whispered, brushing a kiss to the bite mark on the crook of Sehun’s neck. “with Grace or anyone else, Sehun. You are the only I can make love like this to.”

“I know,” Sehun muttered. His voice sounded thick, like he was holding back a sob.

Kai shifted his weight on the bed and propped himself up so that he could look at Sehun’s face. He still did not pull out, though. “You will never have to share me,” Kai breathed out, kissing Sehun’s lips. “I will only ever be yours.”

Though Sehun kissed him back, he seemed a little lacklustre about it. Kai frowned, breaking the kiss.

“What are you thinking?” he asked.

Sehun shook his head. “Nothing.”

Kai dropped back to lie down behind Sehun, eyebrows furrowed. It was not that he had thought that this lovemaking would change anything, but he had not expected Sehun to look so glum right after it.

“I’m sorry about my… meltdown earlier,” said Kai, peppering the back of Sehun’s shoulder with a few kisses. “I just freaked out.”

“You do not have to be sorry,” Sehun whispered. “I am the one who should be sorry. I am sorry that I make everything so complicated for you.”

Kai wound his arm around Sehun’s waist and drew him close until there was absolutely no gap between his chest and Sehun’s back. “We will get through this. I promise.”

* * *

He was not sure when he had fallen asleep. But when he roused again, it was nearly dawn. Sehun was still curled up against him, his head resting lightly on Kai’s chest. Kai drew the blankets over Sehun’s naked body, so that he would not get cold before he drifted off again.

* * *

His bed had never been so cold. Kai cracked an eye open, hoping to see the same sight he had woken up to every day in the last five years.

But he was surprised to find the other side of the bed empty. Slept in, but empty.

He sat up and rubbed his eyes on the hilt of his palms. They burned a little. Then with a deep breath, he glanced to the bathing room, wondering if Sehun was in there.

He pushed the covers aside and rose from the bed. As he made his way into the bathing room, he found it empty as well. No sign of Sehun.

Sighing, Kai decided to take a quick bath before he got dressed. It was not after he was fully clothed did he notice that some of Sehun’s clothes were missing.

Blinking confusedly, Kai checked the shelves. A couple of Sehun’s shirts, trousers, and all of his socks were gone. Including the ones Kai had bought for their baby.

“What the…”

Puzzled, he headed downstairs, lacing his shirt up on his way. He stumbled into Rania and Grace in the hallway.

“Oh, Kai,” said Rania. “Good morning. I was just about to leave.”

“You’re leaving?” asked Kai.

“Yes. I hope you will take good care of my little Gracie,” she said, pushing her daughter toward Kai. “I will visit you in some weeks to see how my girl is doing.”

Kai scratched the back of his head, flustered.

“And I will be sure to tell your grandparents that you are a very nice boy, and you seem committed to your family.” Rania then gave Kai’s shoulder a pat.

“Can you excuse me for a moment?” Kai blurted out and hurried away from them. He looked for Justus in the kitchen. “Justus.”

“Yes, Master,” gasped the man, shooting up from his seat. “What can I make you?”

“Where is Sehun?” asked Kai. He was not sure why his blood was pounding so hard in his ears all of a sudden. “Did you send him somewhere?”

Justus blinked. “No… I did not send him anywhere. I haven’t seen him.”

Kai gulped and nervously looked around him for a moment. “Where is Alicja?”

“Sweeping on the third floor, I presume.”

Kai spun on his heel and ran up to the third floor, where he found Alicja slowly gathering the dust on the carpets with a broom. “Alicja!”

She jumped with a start and nearly screamed. “Oh. Master Kai. You scared me.”

“Have you seen your nephew?” asked Kai.

She looked at him in confusion. “Today?”

“Yes, today!”

“No, I have not. But then again, he does not tell me anything. Why would he tell me where he is going?”

Kai slumped against the wall for a moment, heart racing against his ribs. “Where could he have gone?” he muttered to himself, refusing to think of the worst-case scenario.

Then pulling away from the wall, he sprinted to the backyard to check in the outbuildings. But then something caught his eye.

Halting dead in his tracks, he stared at the piece of parchment flailing in the wind, most of it stuck under a small rock on the ground near the grave of his dead babies.

Swallowing a lump in his throat, he walked over to the grave and picked up the rock and the parchment.

_“I love you. I love you all. You were all mine, and yet, I did not get to keep any of you.”_

It was addressed to both Kai and the babies.

Kai’s knees buckled then. He dropped to his knees on the ground as the world darkened around him. For a moment, he could do nothing but kneel there as still as a statue, unbreathing, unblinking.

_No._

_He has left._

_He has finally… left._

Kai sprung back up to his feet, panting ferociously. He then broke into a sprint toward the city.

He searched for Sehun on the outskirts, on the streets, in the woods like a madman until nightfall.

When he finally realized that he was too late and Sehun was gone, he fell to the ground in an alley and stared lifelessly at his palms. All the times he had told Sehun to leave… He never knew it would be so painful.

Nothing in this world was as painful as abandonment. Kai’s chest screamed in agony.

He had driven Sehun away from him at last. And it hurt so bad. He broke into tears, knees and hands planted on the ground.

The last silvers of his humanity waned then. Sehun was the anchor to his humanity. But now that he was gone, Kai could not hold back the demon within him.

“Hey,” a voice called from the street. “Are you all right?”

Kai’s fangs pushed through. He growled and panted before he looked up at the man, who was gawking at him. Then with a single pounce, he had the man pinned to the ground with his fangs piercing his neck.

He wanted to kill the man, drain him dry. He wanted to completely unleash the monster inside of him.

He would bring carnage. To this entire city. He would feed until he could not go hungry for decades. He would kill every last one of them. Was this the prophecy?

Kai pulled back with a jerk before he could kill the man. No. He was not going to fulfil the prophecy. What was the point now that everything he ever cared about was gone? Why would he even try to live a life without Sehun?

Covered in tears and another man’s blood, Kai slumped back against a wall and cried, screamed for all in Caerdorne to hear his agony.

The man clamped a hand to his neck and crawled out of the alley in horror.

“Kai,” he then heard a familiar voice call. Turning around, Kai blinked at the silhouette of a man he thought he knew.

“D-Dad?” he let out, throat tight and coarse.

His father stepped into the alley and faced Kai with a harsh scowl. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Dad!” Kai gasped then, realizing that the man was actually here. In the flesh. He threw his arms around the older man and hugged him, sobbing against his shoulder. “Sehun… Sehun… He left.”

His father sighed and took hold of Kai’s arm, pulling him back. “Let’s go home.”

* * *

Kai’s mind was scattered. He did not know what to make of his father’s sudden appearance and Sehun’s sudden disappearance. It was all so overwhelming.

Back at the castle, two carriages stood outside. One of them was Rania’s. She must still be here.

“What is… going on?” asked Kai.

“Do you want to fulfil the prophecy?” his father asked, holding the door open to let Kai in. Once they were inside, Kai turned to his father with bloodshot eyes and blood caked to his face and hands.

“No,” Kai spat. “I don’t want to! I never wanted to. You know that.”

“Well, it isn’t a choice, Kai,” said his father. That was disheartening. “It is going to happen. One way or another. That is how prophecies are. But it does not have to happen today.”

Kai blinked at him. Then he smelled blood limes and magnolias. He stood still for a moment.

“I found him wandering along the roads on my way here,” said his father, scowling. “I think you two might have some unfinished business.”

Kai spun around then. His heart almost fell out of his chest when he saw Sehun walking towards him with his head hung. Kai wasted no seconds as he rushed over to the boy, took his face in his hands and started kissing all over it until he had run out of breath.

“How could you do that, Sehun?!” he then yapped, pulling Sehun into a tight embrace. Hell, he never wanted to let go. Sehun wrapped his arms around Kai and nuzzled into Kai’s shoulder, weeping softly. “You almost killed me. I would have died without you.”

“I’m sorry,” Sehun cried. “I thought… it was the right thing to do.”

Kai drew back and cupped Sehun’s face in his hands again. His own face was streaked with tears. “I was stupid. I know I am putting you in danger. But I don’t think I can live without you.”

“You do not have to,” said Kai’s father.

Rania and Grace joined them then. “Long time no see, cousin,” Rania said, smiling. Kai’s father glowered in her way.

“This alliance ends here, Rania,” the man said. “You may take your daughter and be on your way.”

Rania shook her head, clicking her tongue. “That is quite disappointing.”

“What is?” Kai’s father asked through his teeth.

“You want your son to suffer the same fate as you,” said Rania. “That is.”

The man drew in a sharp breath.

“Your father demands that his bloodline continues. Stronger than ever,” said Rania. “You will be endangering both of them if you let them have what they want.”

Kai’s father squared his shoulders. “I know what you are doing, Rania,” he said calmly. “And I know why you wrote me that letter. You were right to assume that I will not let this happen. And I know what you want.”

Rania smirked then. “It is a good solution. You get to decide once again. And I hope you make the right decision this time.”

With that, she ushered her daughter out the door. She paused in her way to give Kai’s father’s shoulder a stroke. “We will see each other soon, Rania,” the man sighed.

“Sooner than you think.”

Once they were gone, Kai gaped at his father. “What is going on?”

“You two need to pack,” said his father, rubbing his forehead.

“Pack? For where?”

“For anywhere but here.” He took his coat off and started for the drawing room. Kai and Sehun followed him. “The carriage will take you to the harbour. It is a two weeks’ ride. So, prepare for it. A ship will be waiting for you there.”

“Father,” Kai rasped. “Do you want us to… elope? But your father will never—”

“I know,” the man said, turning around to face Kai. “I will deal with it.”

“How are you going to _deal_ with it? He killed Mother! Didn’t he?!”

His father sighed heavily. “Rania…” he murmured. “Look, Kai. We all make certain choices in life. And we have to live by them. Consequences and all. I have paid the price for the choice I made. And there will come a time when you will have to face the consequences of your own choices.”

He glanced at Sehun then.

“But for as long as… you are with the person you love,” his father continued with a faint smile. “it will all be worth it. Even if it is short-lived. You have made your choice long ago. You have chosen Sehun even before you knew that you were choosing him.”

“They will hunt us down,” Kai said worriedly. “I don’t care about me, but I don’t want to put Sehun in danger.”

“You also can’t live without him.” His father brought a hand to a side of Kai’s face. “I know how that feels. One day, you might fulfil the prophecy. One day. Not today. Today, you get to live with the one you love. Now, go. Get ready.”

Kai did not know if he could do this. He had never left Caerdorne for long a few weeks. Even then, he knew that he always had a home to return to.

“What did Rania mean by this is a good solution?” he asked.

His father took a heavy breath. “I was supposed to marry her. But then I met your mother. She thinks that… marrying her and… begetting a child by her now would let you off the hook.”

“From the prophecy?”

“No, but at least from your grandparents. They would not hound you to carry the bloodline on.”

Kai’s eyes widened. “Are you going do it?”

His father licked his lips. “If I had known they would take it this far and torment you like this, I would have done it a long time ago.”

“Father…”

“Your mother was willing to sacrifice her life for you,” he then said, smiling. “Do you really think I would not sacrifice this much for you?”

Kai lurched forward and hugged his father once again. “Thank you.”

He had nothing else to say. Well, he had one thing left to say.

“I’m sorry for… what I said before.”

His father smiled and nodded his head. “Now, go.”

Kai took Sehun’s hand and walked him to their room. He did not notice the bloodstains all over Sehun’s face until he turned to look at him again. The stains from Kai’s mouth when he had kissed the boy.

“Where did you think you would go?” asked Kai.

Sehun looked like he was choking on something. “I don’t know.”

“Were you okay with… going on with your life without me?” asked Kai. “Did you really want to… leave? Perhaps you thought it would make things easier for you.”

“No,” Sehun sniffled, wiping a tear that rolled down his cheek. “I thought it would make things easier for you. I didn’t want you to blame yourself for anything.”

Kai licked his lips and bowed his head. “Do you want to go away with me now? I cannot promise you… complete security. But I will promise to protect you with every fibre in my existence.”

He took Sehun’s face in his hands.

“I promise to love you. Unconditionally. Always. Until death do us part. I promise to never hurt you knowingly.”

This was sounding a lot like a marriage vow.

“I can promise you an adventure,” he then added, smiling. “Do you want to leave Caerdorne with me, Sehun?”

Sehun nodded, eyes boring into Kai’s. “Yes.”

Kai kissed him, blood and tears and all.

* * *

# E P I L O G U E

A cottage certainly was warmer than a castle. The village was nowhere near as cold as Caerdorne, that wretched city Kai had spent all his life in, either.

A letter came in for Kai today. It was from his father.

As he sat down on the porch steps, he opened the letter and slowly read its content.

“Who is it from?” Sehun asked as he sauntered out to the porch, sticking his swollen belly out, as though he wanted to show it off. Kai smiled at him.

“My father,” he said, making some room for Sehun to sit down on his lap.

Once he was settled, Kai ran his hand over Sehun’s belly and bowed his head to give it a soft kiss. “What is he saying?”

“He and Rania are married now.”

Sehun grimaced. “You and her daughter almost… I mean, does this make you two stepsiblings now?”

Kai chuckled. “Yeah. It does.”

“That is so strange.”

“But he thinks his parents are happy with it,” he said. “Nevertheless, he asks us to be careful.”

Sehun unconsciously raised a hand to his belly, as though he wanted to protect the baby from the ominous thought. This was the farthest they had ever come.

Perhaps luck was on their side for once. Perhaps everything would go right this time.

Even so, they dreaded each day of Sehun’s pregnancy.

Sighing, Kai lifted Sehun up with him with he rose to his feet and carried Sehun back into their small house. He settled Sehun on the bed to lie down on the bed before he took his seat near Sehun’s feet. Placing them on his lap, he gently massaged them, occasionally kissing the top of the socked feet.

“Kai?” Sehun then called, smiling at him lovingly. “If something happens to me during the… you know…”

Kai scowled at him. “What did I say about talking about these things?”

Sehun laughed softly. “But I have made my peace with it. I don’t care if I died. I just want the… baby to be born… alive. And healthy.”

“Sehun,” Kai snapped at him.

“But if something were to happen to me, please do not name our baby after one of your favourite book authors.”

“Sehun, what must I do for you to stop talking about this?”

“I want the baby named Jae,” said Sehun. This was something Sehun often talked about. He could on for hours, listing down the names he would like the baby to have. “Boy or girl.”

“You can name the baby yourself,” spat Kai. “because you’re going to be here.”

Sehun sat up and brushed a kiss on Kai’s cheek. “I know. But—”

“No but.”

“Kai,” he sighed. “I can barely walk anymore, and I’m not even seven months in.”

“Sehun.” Kai swallowed.

“Maybe it’s time you… braced yourself for the worst, too.”

Sehun leaned his forehead against Kai’s temple and closed his eyes, drawing in deep, unsteady breaths. His breathing had not been steady for months. The baby was wearing him out, Kai could tell.

“We have this moment,” Sehun whispered. “All three of us. That is all that matters for now.”

Kai agreed with that. He tenderly held Sehun’s face then and kissed him on the lips. Then with a heavy breath, he pulled back. “Lie down. I will apply some ointment on your stomach.”

“And give it some kisses, too.” Sehun grinned, slowly reclining back on the bed.

“And some kisses, too.” Kai sighed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! And leaving comments and kudos :*


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